Siblings and boundaries

[sara1215]

I'll have to see if I can articulate my question properly.

I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old, both girls. There is a general issue developing that encompasses sharing their toys as well as each one having ownership of certain things and/or times. Let me try to give some examples.

When the oldest is having designated time for a task she needs to do, such as practice piano or doing her homework, the littlest is very distracting. She will bang on the piano keys or try to color on her big sister's homework. I have tried involving her with me in a separate task, such as reading together or doing a chore upstairs, but then I am not as available to help the oldest if she needs it. I have also tried setting the youngest up with her own "homework", like coloring or another project, but her sister's seems much more attractive to her. What can I do to create a boundary here, that both of them are important to me and that big sister should be allowed to have the time she needs to do these things without being distracted by little sister?

Another example--we gave big sister a Kindle Fire for her birthday (which was yesterday). It has parental controls on it, so she will only be allowed to use it for a certain period of time when we designate it. Of course little sister already wants to play with it too. I would really like it to be something special that just big sister primarily uses. She can do her required reading for school on it, as well as use educational apps and games that I have preloaded. I want it to be a privilege for her as the older one and I don't feel she should necessarily be required to share it as much as we have usually asked them to share their toys. Is this unwise? How have others dealt with something like this?

[knitlove]

I am going to come and listen. Mine are almost 2 and almost 6. We are having similar issues.

[camperjen]

Sometimes it's a matter of "I need an hour" and then anything-goes to get that time. When my older was 3yo and his little brother needed a lot of attention to get a nap, I would park him in front of the tv until his brother was napping. Later on when it was your situation - an older child needing attention and the now-toddler won't leave us alone - it was the same thing except my younger son didn't want to watch tv. I had Leapsters (the pre-iPod/cell phone video game type thing) and he would get permission to play it. I would try to park him with his very favorite things to squeeze out 10-30 minutes. Sometimes it worked great and other times it was a disaster. It was pretty much the only tool in my toolbox that worked with regularity.