Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

[Maggie]

Hey, everybody. I'm a major messie. We have so much clutter, it's ridiculous. It's very stressful for DH and I, but we feel overwhelmed with where to start and how to go about decluttering. I've heard and agree that we need to break it up into little tasks that don't seem so overwhelming. Just recently got major motivation for decluttering: we're going to get our first pet, a cat, when our house is organized!

I'm very embarrassed about doing this, but I'm thinking about posting pictures for help. I really think I need a list of things to do before just starting in and I think some ideas would help.

Glad to be part of this thread! It was motivating just to read the couple pages I did.

[momaich]

Yay, Maggie! I find keeping things organized challenging. Have you read the flylady website? I think she has a lot of great ideas. I haven't looked at it in quite a while but I did learn a lot from her. I especially like the use of boxes or baskets to sort and organize a room. Take several containers and label each one, then take all the stuff in- say your living room that doesn't belong and put it in those baskets. Label one kids room, parents room, hall closet, attic, kitchen, donate, etc., and of course, bring the trash can in too! Then after you get out all the stuff that doesn't belong, deliver and empty the baskets appropriately. I use that method daily. It's very helpful to me because we do not get out one item, use it and put it back immediately, but we do schedule put away time daily (well ...try to anyway!) The baskets help keep walking back and forth to the same spot at a minimum.
I also like flylady's adage to release things to bless others. Getting stuff out of my house that we don't need or use can be daunting because I want to sell stuff, but that's a whole nuther job in itself that adds to our clutter and steals time for minimal financial rewards. So, release things to bless others is a helpful mindset for me to take things and donate them frequently instead of building a yardsale pile. I do still save a few things to sell- but not every. little. thing.
I look forward to reading about your successes!

[RealLifeMama]

(((((Maggie)))))))
We have a clutter problem, too.
I am so sick of it.
I feel so powerless to change it.
I am *this close* to hiring an organizer to come help. The thing is, I have no idea what area to work with her on, because DH has declared certain areas, as in, most closets, off limits, because they have his stuff in them.

Seriously, though, I am so sick of cleaning and cleaning, and the house still looking messy and dirty. I say I am a messie, but seriously, all I do when I am not nursing is clean and tidy. All day. I never do anything fun with my kids because I always feel compelled to clean. And it makes no difference at all.

[Maggie]

Thanks, Hilaire! Great ideas! Love your name, too! Is it hill-AIR or HILL-a-ree?

(((((Amy))))) ITU the powerless feeling. I have thought of hiring an organizer, too, but have some reservations, as does DH. So, I dunno...gonna try some new tactics, I guess.

Originally Posted by Maggie

Thanks, Hilaire! Great ideas! Love your name, too! Is it hill-AIR or HILL-a-ree?

(((((Amy))))) ITU the powerless feeling. I have thought of hiring an organizer, too, but have some reservations, as does DH. So, I dunno...gonna try some new tactics, I guess.

Sometimes, I get tempted to use gasoline and a match for my "new tactic." I am also dreading the death of my parents - not only because I love them, but because they have so. much. stuff it will take *years* for me to go through it. Maybe if I think of doing ds a favor by cleaning out it will motivate me...

[passthemanna]

I am such a messie! I have been since i was just a little girl! I don't know why or how I just accumulate sooo much clutter and have the WORST organizational skills! My husband is great when he's in the mood to clean but most of the time he'll toss his dirty clothes 3 feet away from the hamper, set trash on the counter or table and so on. I'm trying to figure out how to keep things neat & tidy while keeping my son ( 9 months and high-needs) entertained. I think there's some kind of "mess fairy" that comes over when i'm sleeping because i'll get things 99% clean & organized & next thing i knnow it's like a bomb went off.

[momaich]

I'm going to address a few posts here. My name is pronounced like Hillary. I think Hilaire is the french masculine spelling of the name. I am named for the poet and writer Hilaire Belloc.
About organizers- I have a friend who is also a messie and she did hire an organizer who helped tremendously. IIRC my friend said the organizer's consultation helped her realize she needed to buy things like book shelves and other storage ideas- we sometimes get bogged down in the idea that we can't buy one more thing until we make room, but some things will help you make the room. Also, they are good in helping you think through what items you can purge and maybe helping you purge things you want to keep even though you have no use for them.
New tactics- I love the match one. My dh thinks people should go away for a week every 10 years and hire an auctioneer to sell everything inside their houses while they're gone. One thing flylady suggests is starting a control journal. You can look it up on her website. I never did it because it seemed like work to me, but maybe just reading about it could help with control feelings. Worth a try.
I've been working at keeping organized for YEARS. It does not come naturally to me at all and I still have 2 boxes of papers that need to be filed from the 90's- but I have whittled down most of my piles so that they don't overwhelm. Once in a while I try to organize photos too, but don't know if I'll ever finish that job. With a family of 5, it's all I can do to keep our current stuff clean and operational, bill's paid etc. My house is still not in that state I'd call "a place for everything and everything in it's place" Many things are still in storage bins waiting to be sorted, but I'm getting there. And I think with families there is such a thing as clean enough without being perfect.
I think I'm done now. Thinking of you all my sisters.

[pookel]

Me, me! I recently got diagnosed with ADD and have been taking Adderall and keeping up with my dishes, which is amazing for me. But the house still, uh, needs work. The ADD diagnosis has really been enlightening, though - just figuring out *why* housekeeping is so hard for me makes a big difference. It's not that I don't want to do the tasks - it's that I can't switch focus easily. Does that make sense? Like, I recently realized that putting away the dishes really only takes about 5 minutes, so I can do it while I have a pizza in the oven. Change a diaper, fold a few clothes, pick up a toy and set it in someone's room, grab a dirty dish on the way and drop it in the sink ... That's the kind of thing that I think is really key to keeping your house in order.

The Adderall makes it easier for me, but I'm hoping I can learn better habits this way (because Adderall's not really safe for pregnancy and I may have more kids, so I'll have to go off it then).

[ragnfly]

I'm a Messie! I'm in!
Just when we get one room just the way I like it. I lose 3 more rooms in the house. *sigh*
I am obsessed with organizing bins. I have 2 boxes of empty storage conatiners and baskets in my storage unit. LOL
And Mt. Washmore never ends!
I Freecycle clutter once to 3x's a month. But it never ends!

I am always ready for some support to be a better houswife and home manager!

[momaich]

Move on in, we're bound to find you soon under all this stuff. ;0)
I have been putting our portfolios together for the end of the year homeschool evaluation. It's making me dig through all our stuff and organize it, but I sure would like to organize all year so that it's just done when I get to June. As it is, it's 2:40 am and I'm still printing out required material that I thought I had printed out last September but can't find. I did find my calendar I lost back in April though!

[Kiara.I]

I definitely belong on this thread. And, like herbalwriter, I'm second generation (hmm...actually at least 3rd generation...). I used to have nightmares when I lived at home about an earthquake or something damaging the house so that it all had to be dealt with right then...

My house now isn't as bad, but oof. I can see patterns starting now, and I do *not* want my kids growing up never having friends over. I want to be the cool mom, and all my kids' friends *want* to hang out at our house, you know?

I've been reading Flylady for years now, but have major trouble with GOYB homekeeping. I think having an accountability partner would really, REALLY help.

Anybody want to? I want to actually commit to doing the FL babysteps. And then keeping on after that, but let's start with the 31 steps.

[Leslie_JJKs_mom]

Originally Posted by jamilyian

I am on my way to being a reformed Messy, and I posted on the other thread, but can I offer advice here? Since I have BTDT, and I grew up in a disaster of a messy home? I've really seen it all ladies. My childhood home reeked of animal feces because no one cleaned the cat box and my mom had 2 snakes and bred feeder mice in addition to the cats all of which poop and pee. I can tell you stories of moldy refrigerators and hairballs the size of golf balls littered in the shower. Moldy half-filled cups of coffee. And then there's the paper. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks of papers, bills, envelopes, memos, lists, coupons...
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Oh gross I am not near that bad. I want to be a spotless spic and span kind of housekeeper but I have a hard time doing that. I did maintain it one time for over a year but my bedroom failed me. I manage to keep my kitchen and livingroom clean. Jack has to maintain the bathroom since he uses it and I have my own.

You know one day my kitchen seemed like a disaster. I was so down sicne I had just cleaned it really well the day before. I was waiting for Law and Order to come on and I talked myself into cleaning for the 5 min. it would take for the show to come on. You know my dishes were done in that time and the table cleared.

[fireweedmama]

It looks like this thread hasn't been bumped in awhile and I admit I have not read all 19 pages but I belong here! I was diagnosed ADD as a child but never medicated and seemed to learn how to cope. That was then.

During the 9 months of my pregnancy we moved twice (one cross county) and I three different jobs, one of which I returned to when dd was 7 weeks old (she came with). My house has been a disaster ever since and most of the time I don't even feel like holding steady...I'm actively losing ground! Dd is 18 months now and things HAVE GOT to change because she's pulling piles down on herself.

I've looked doing FlyLady several times but get totally overwhelmed...specially when she starts saying things like "after your weekly chores are done..." Heck if I could get my weekly chores done I wouldn't need you! So any ideas/support I can gain here would be much appreciated!

Guilty as charged, Ma'am!

[Two Little Birds]

I try so hard, but it is so hard! Clutter doesn't bother me much, except in the kitchen. But I am trying because I know it is important to my husband to have a neat house. And he is now working from home part-time so it is even more important to me to provide him with a neat environment. I just need to keep plugging away. I've found that if I put aside 10 minutes of every hour during the "work day" for picking up and chores I get more done, but I forget to do it so often.