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Old 11-04-2011, 08:59 PM   #16
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Old 11-04-2011, 09:01 PM   #17
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Old 11-04-2011, 09:34 PM   #18
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Old 11-05-2011, 04:55 AM   #19
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Old 11-05-2011, 05:15 AM   #20
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I totally need the support!
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Old 11-05-2011, 05:44 AM   #21
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by charla View Post
I used to beat myself up and go to bed crying often because I felt like such an awful mother when I yelled at my kids. I found that as I immersed myself in finding God's grace for myself and stopped beating myself up, it helped me find grace for my children and I yelled less. Now I know that I can ask my children's forgiveness; it is not unpardonable. I might need to review all of this though. Old habits do die hard.
This is so me on some days- the yelling and then going to bed crying. I do ask the kids for forgiveness and bless their hearts, I know that they do, but I can't seem to forgive myself.
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Old 11-05-2011, 07:52 AM   #22
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I need to be here.
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Old 11-05-2011, 08:06 AM   #23
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by GraceFirst View Post
My patience is the shortest (and thus yelling ensues) when I am engrossed in something that is important to ME, something I want to do for ME, and the kids start fighting or need something (that they can easily do themselves and don't need me for) and I can't get MY stuff done. I am trying to do too much. It helps me to just know that between the hours of approx 7am to 8/9pm I should not try and pour myself into anything else that requires all my attention. Then I am not setting myself up for frustration.

On one hand I feel like I'm never going to be able to do anything for myself, but on the other hand I know that right now during this phase of life I am pouring myself into my little ones and will have time later on down the road for personal time. Just the way it is right now. And they are worth it.
this tends to be a trigger for me, too. sometimes I get tired of being only mama. I want to be Me, too, and read or write or just be . . .

this thread is helping me so much right now
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Old 11-05-2011, 08:08 AM   #24
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by filmgirl2911 View Post
this tends to be a trigger for me, too. sometimes I get tired of being only mama. I want to be Me, too, and read or write or just be . . .

this thread is helping me so much right now

Me too. But then I feel selfish if I take that time for me. I feel like I'm "failing" at being mom, even though deep down, I know I can't be Supermom. *sigh*

So with my older two (almost 9 and 7) if they do something that makes me feel frustrated and like I'm going to yell, I ask them to go hang out in their room and kind of think about the situation. It gives me a chance to cool down and gives them a chance to think about what happened and maybe what they could have done instead. It's not meant as a punishment by any means, but gives them a chance to take responsibility for what happened. Then I can go in there with a level head and we talk about it a little bit. I've realized that it's a good solution for not just me and my yelling, but for the kids. They don't get defensive and no ones upset or angry by the time I get in there to talk.

Last edited by WalkByFaith; 11-05-2011 at 08:53 AM.
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:10 AM   #25
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Thank you for starting this thread.
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:15 AM   #26
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I've been yelling entirely too much lately. I know some of it is stress and hormones, but I still need to be the adult and not yell. And somehow, my middle child is the one that has been the brunt of the yelling more than the others. I HATED when my dad would yell when I was a kid, and now I do the same thing.
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:32 AM   #27
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by kwisie View Post
I've been yelling entirely too much lately. I know some of it is stress and hormones, but I still need to be the adult and not yell. And somehow, my middle child is the one that has been the brunt of the yelling more than the others. I HATED when my dad would yell when I was a kid, and now I do the same thing.


*hugs* I have one child that gets the brunt of it, too. It makes a person feel terrible, but hopefully we'll learn some new techniques to help! Hang in there!
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:36 AM   #28
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I'm yelling too much lately. There keeps being more to do with more kids so when the olders want me to do stuff for them they can do for themselves or make it harder for me to help them, I'm just fed up. Dd1 just expected me to go into the kitchen to help her put on her underwear, after she asked me to find them for her and disappeared before I could give them to her.

I really need to just consistently stand up for myself in not doing more than I should be doing. The yelling doesn't help, but it just keeps building up and finding its way out of me.

In my perfect world, my kids would carefully contemplate themselves whether they want me to do something or need me to do something before asking me to sort it out for them because they know I'm already so overwhelmed trying to balance everyone's needs and they just wouldn't want me to have to put their requests through my poorly functioning priorities sorter, and certainly not repeatedly after I said "no" and weighed down with whining.
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:36 AM   #29
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceFirst View Post
My patience is the shortest (and thus yelling ensues) when I am engrossed in something that is important to ME, something I want to do for ME, and the kids start fighting or need something (that they can easily do themselves and don't need me for) and I can't get MY stuff done. I am trying to do too much. It helps me to just know that between the hours of approx 7am to 8/9pm I should not try and pour myself into anything else that requires all my attention. Then I am not setting myself up for frustration.

On one hand I feel like I'm never going to be able to do anything for myself, but on the other hand I know that right now during this phase of life I am pouring myself into my little ones and will have time later on down the road for personal time. Just the way it is right now. And they are worth it.
Yes, I could have written this exactly (except mine aren't usually asleep until 11 or later). It's helping me that we're reading Little House in the Big Woods right now and Caroline and Charles didn't have leisure time, not any expectation of it, either.
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Old 11-05-2011, 09:50 AM   #30
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by Elora View Post
sleep
eliminating caffeine
eating right
getting out of the house
having my belongings MOVED INTO MY HOUSE AND FINDING A PLACE FOR THEM SO I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND I DON'T LOSE MY MIND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING EVERYTIME I NEED ANYTHING WOULD HELP A LOT
I have sooo been there! We lived out of boxes in our friends' unfinished basement for SEVEN MONTHS while we built a house that was only supposed to take 3 months, 4 tops! And DD2 didn't sleep through the night for that entire seven months. Not one night. We moved into the new place and from the first night she has slept through every single night. I have finally gotten my own routine back, and most things out of boxes. It helps so much. Hang in there. I know it is hard to see now, but it will make you stronger. I just prayed the whole time that the experience would be something that would strengthen our family, and help me to grow personally. And it certainly did!

---------- Post added at 11:45 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:43 AM ----------

This is me. Spitting image of my father, the yeller. Thanks for this thread, I need it. I'm also reading Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline and it is helping a lot. I think I'll have to read it 100 more times to catch all the wonderful info in there. It's so hard changing thoughts/behaviors that are at the core of who I am. But and I'm learning to take baby steps.
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