i can't get rid of "stuff"

[houseforjoy]

i have no idea what my block is here. we are a large family. decluttering is a necessity. but i can't seem to do it. esp. with kids toys. here are things i am finding while trying to make myself purge/declutter

1. broken stuff. seriously dh had helped the kids with round one of decluttering and i saw a plastic doll with a missing leg in it. i started reaching in to grab it out thinking "oh i meant to fix that" even tho i actually tried to fix it and it really isn't super possible to fix, but i have let it sit on my dd dresser taking up space and making clutter for months instead of just tossing it.

2. old stuff. in my fabric room i have so many old clothes that i have plans on "upcycling" but if i am completely realistic i know i will not get to it. like ever. but i don't toss it or donate it.

3. barely played with toys. again dh helped the kids get rid of stuff and i see things in there and i am like "oh but so and so never got to use it play with it because <insert random excuse here>

i don't know why i can't just declutter and teach my kids the importance of decluttering. part of me feels guilty and that it is wasteful, and part of me thinks i could sell it to make money, and part of me thinks i or someone else will regret getting rid of it.

help me work this out???

[ECingMama]

The selling stuff kills me too. I only sold my stuff last week because we'd moved and it was the only stuff left in the garage!

Donating is easy for me. Plus I like the excuse to go to the thrift store to shop after I donate.

I'm planning to get rid of thousands of pounds of stuff in the next three years. We weighed our moving truck, so I know it's thousands of pounds that needs to go! lol

It sounds like your husband is really good at it. I'd let him help you and focus on what you are really good at....

[Katigre]

Can you have a friend purge for you and get rid of the trash before you see it?

[ECingMama]

Originally Posted by Katigre

Can you have a friend purge for you and get rid of the trash before you see it?

I wish I could trust friends. (my sister) She threw away batman from a set that came with a bat cave that my son just got for his birthday a few months ago and totally plays with. She also threw away the glasses case for Molly's glasses (American girl doll). I rescued both of them.

[houseforjoy]

Originally Posted by Katigre

Can you have a friend purge for you and get rid of the trash before you see it?

dh can do it pretty much, and yes, it probably would be better if i don't go looking through what he purged

but i still have to get rid of some of my stuff too and household stuff he wouldn't know about.

[houseforjoy]

what no one wants to help me work through my issues

---------- Post added at 09:45 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:44 AM ----------

oh and the apple may not fall far from the tree. i was helping ds go through his stuff to purge and i tried saying "this stick (yes stick) can get thrown away right?" and he was like NOOOOOOOOOOOO that is my alligator stick!! -- it is a thicker stick with a crack through one end like an alligator mouth

[bentlaj11]

I wish I could help, but your post is something I could've written!

[RiverRock]

I'm not much help either. I need to be in the mood or inspired (for example; new book on home organizing, episode of Hoarders). Usually, the decision making that is needed for a good declutter session is more than my brain can handle. However, I am getting to the point where the clutter is wasting my time and having a negative affect on my life. I don't want to use stuff that I've saved, and keeping it is stopping me from having time and space to do the things I want to do.

[WanderingJuniper]

I don't know how to help. Having a parent who holds on to stuff in an unorganized fashion has made me want to be opposite of that.

[Kiara.I]

Originally Posted by houseforjoy

i have no idea what my block is here. we are a large family. decluttering is a necessity. but i can't seem to do it. esp. with kids toys. here are things i am finding while trying to make myself purge/declutter

I swear, some of it needs to be a learned skill. If you didn't learn it in childhood, it takes more time.

Can you start asking yourself the serious questions? When your brain says "Oh, I meant to fix that", tie it immediately to the questions: CAN I fix it? No? Trash. Yes: "WILL I fix it?" No? Trash. Yes--do it immediately.

Same with upcycling. WILL you really? If not, toss it.

Feeling wasteful: It is wasteful to allow it to steal space and happiness in your home. If it had a happy use during its life, appreciate that and release it to bless someone else. (Flylady, she knows her stuff. ) If it was a waste to get it in the first place (Hey, I've got clothes that weren't wise purchases, that kind of thing) then refuse to allow it to waste MORE time/space/happiness and clear it out. And if it's not broken/trash, then maybe someone else can love it and use it.

Making money: will you? really? If you can't put a price tag on it that's over $30, is it even worth it? The problem with thinking it's worth money is that nobody will want to pay what you think it's worth, so you keep feeling upset about it because it won't sell, or because you don't get enough for it. Is it worth the trauma? If you're *good* at selling things, great. But if you're not, just skip the trauma. Donate it. For the few big items, you could try craigslist. But maybe set yourself a deadline for actually listing it?

[ECingMama]

She's totally right.....it was frustrating to list on craig's list and get less than I thought it was worth. That's why I usually just give away.

All the free stuff I listed on craig's list went within in the hour! lol

[houseforjoy]

i am not usually disappointed over what i get for something... ten or twenty bucks is still ten bucks but i usually look at what stuff is going for too.

either way it is the whole taking time to list it and more so taking pictures that is time consuming for me.

[Soliloquy]

I have a few ideas.

First of all, if it is donated, you can pray over it and ask God to bless someone that really needs this item by helping them find it at a great price. There are people living on a shoestring that would be brought to tears to find a cute outfit or toy at a thrift shop. Keeping something that you will never use (and you won't use it because you cannot find it when your house is cluttered) is a form of hoarding and we should be sharing, not hoarding. (I hope that doesn't sound harsh. I'm not judging, it's an issue I have, myself.)

Ask yourself, "If I save this, and by some slim chance I actually need it some day, will I even be able to find it? Will I actually expend the time and money to repair it?" 99% of the time the answer is no.

Remember that a new habit is HARD. Expect it to be hard but do it anyway. Remind yourself that it will get easier.

I really liked the book, Clutter Control: Your House on a Diet by Steve Campbell. I checked it out from the library. He addressed the emotional reasons we hang on to things as well as some practical ideas for decluttering.

With the fabric/clothes--if you ACTUALLY sew, set aside a few hours to rip out the seams, trim, fold, etc and organize the fabric or clothes you want to upcycle. Spend a few bucks to get a shelf or a nice bin. Whatever fits, you get to keep.

[houseforjoy]

wow those are some good hard truths i need to chew on.

also i am thinking it might be easier for me to donate to like the m. rescue mission instead of goodwill.

[Aerynne]

I love to get rid of stuff

I guess I would go back to your childhood to see what your issues might be. Were you poor? Did your mom get rid of stuff without your permission? Did you lose someone close to you? Maybe sorting through some stuff would help.

But I'm going to help you with one thing. Start with this. Go get up, right now, yes you, and throw that one-legged doll in the garbage or recycle. I said now. Why are you still reading this? I mean it!

It might just be that you have to make yourself get rid of stuff, one by one. When you lose the stuff, you are getting peace. Maybe you can think of it that way that you are getting peace instead of losing stuff.

I really have to suppress the urge to just take a torch to everything I own. Okay, not really, like you're not going to see me on the news or anything. But I sometimes just get so mad at my stuff, mad at the All About Spelling cards I'm sorting that are keeping me from doing a puzzle with dd2, and the fact that I get upset when ds2 drops a whole box of them on the floor. I mean, if I didn't even have them, I wouldn't have that problem.