i can't get rid of "stuff"

[ArmsOfLove]

sometimes it helps me to put it in a box and in the garage and if I haven't missed it in 6 months to a year just take the box, unopened, to a donation center.

---------- Post added at 11:15 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:14 AM ----------

exploring the messages you have about stuff - from childhood, from seasons of struggling, from other people in your life, etc. - can be really healing too

[MrsDuck]

I haven't read all the replies, but sometimes I struggle with this, too. I heard a phrase recently that really helped me, though... Instead of asking, "have I worn/used/etc. this in the past 6/12/etc. months?" ask,

"WOULD I BUY THIS NOW?"

I have felt a little liberated with this. I have been purging better now that I feel like I'm asking the right question.

[marbles]

I have only skimmed the last several replies, but I don't think I saw this. I have trouble with decluttering, too, but I found that my trouble is mostly that I get overwhelmed. If I try to make decisions about an entire area, then everything is something I need to keep. That's too many important keep-it-or-toss-it decisions and I default to keep-it. So we started this new thing: get rid of one thing every day for a year. We bought star stickers so we each have a color and we put a star up on the calendar for each day we get rid of something. I started with the obvious trash type things, a shirt that I never wore because it was ratty and stained and had a hole in it, or a sock that I knew was missing its pair. In the first weeks I counted items I had put aside already but hadn't done anything with. Once I got going, it became exciting to find my one thing and I have gotten rid of more things than ever. We have had a Fisher Price barn forever that the kids don't play with. Once every three months someone finds it and LOVES it for a day then forgets it. I always kept it because they loved it for that day But after a couple weeks of getting rid of things and feeling good about it, I tossed that barn in a Salvation Army bag and didn't look back. When I started I honestly didn't think I could find 365 things we didn't need, but starting out small and making it something I have to do (with accountability even) made the difference for me.

[homesteadmama]

I have similar issues that you've talked about. Here are some things that have helped me:

1) if you have freecycle, or a local "free stuff" group on FB, or Craigslist free category, list stuff there. I like giving something useful to someone who I know will really want it and use it.

2) with toys: often times, if it's a good quality toy and still in good shape, but just not getting played with, or once was played with, I will box it up and stick it in a closet. A few months later, I will rotate some toys into the box, and pull those "NEW!!" toys out. The fresheness of not seeing it for awhile usually brings lots of play. If not, it goes to the thrift store.

3) Could you have a garage sale? That always helps me purge because I know I can make a little money off it, and if it's only taking up space, I'd rather have the space and a little money than nothing. Everything I don't sell at the garage sale goes into my car at the end of the day, and straight to the thrift store.

[rjy9343]

I had a really hard time getting rid of things until we downsized in a move while I was pregnant. (I think there might have been another major life changing event in that time frame, but am not sure). My husband is even worse than I am.
We found putting things in a box or bag and putting them in a place we could not see them for a while was the easiest way to let go of those things we just did not want to let go even though we did not want them.

[marigold]

[QUOTE=Kiara.I;5811888]Feeling wasteful: It is wasteful to allow it to steal space and happiness in your home.

Originally Posted by Aerynne

When you lose the stuff, you are getting peace. Maybe you can think of it that way that you are getting peace instead of losing stuff.
.

Beautiful thoughts ladies, thank-you.

[jandjmommy]

Can you use a facebook garage sale group? You can get rid of things so quickly and you may be surprised by how fast real cash makes up for potential regret (that really never comes from getting rid of stuff though that's what we worry about, right?)

If you think of a goal it makes it much easier. When we first moved I found a group and I sold enough in 2 days to pay for a night at the Disneyland Hotel. Most of the stuff I sold was priced at $2-$3. It took me less than 2 hours to list everything and people just come pick stuff up off my porch and leave money under the mat.

You could start small, like trying to make enough to visit a museum or go out to lunch, or start with something grand like a specific vacation.

I let my kids sell their stuff as well. I am amazed by the things they are willing to let go. For instance, DS is selling his Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson) books. His reasoning is that 1. Harry Potter is better. 2. If he really wants to re-read them he can check them out from the library. Sounds good to me.

Whichever way you declutter, it helps if you explain it to the kids so they learn how to deal with their things. My kids love their stuff (I will not be able to get rid of even one stuffed animal ever) but they also love space, money, and never having to put that thing away [that they got rid of] ever again. I do not get rid of anyone's stuff without their consent.

[twoplustwo]

I can't help much because I am naturally good at decluttering. I am always doing it & therefore don't really need to "declutter."

One thing we did to help my daughter yesterday, her room was becoming overrun with stuff and she was having a hard time keeping it clean because of that.

We moved all of her stuff out of her room. Then asked she sort into piles (books, American doll stuff, clothes). Plus I put a big box in the hall.

Sometimes if its completely out of the room it, donating & throwing away becomes so much easier than moving it back into the room. So you might want to try that. If you have to find a place for it once its not even in the room maybe you will find its easier to let go of.

She filled the box with stuff. But as you said - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree & my kids are generally pretty good at getting rid of stuff anyway. But it might be worth a try!

Or I can just come over and do it for you.

[BarefootBetsy]

I totally missed this before or I would've posted sooner! I could've written your OP not long ago I still could, sometimes, too

Originally Posted by WanderingJuniper

Having a parent who holds on to stuff in an unorganized fashion has made me want to be opposite of that.

This Reading Sandra Felton's Messies books really helped me better understand both my mom and the mindset in which I was raised and to get some ideas to help declutter. I should probably re-read them periodically

Clutter's Last Stand by Don Aslett has also been extremely helpful to me in the past. That's another I could probably stand to re-read again soon.

Watching "Clean House" on Netflix is always motivating as well. I watch those people and how resistant they are to getting rid of things and how nice their houses look afterwards and it's incredibly motivating!

Originally Posted by MrsDuck

I haven't read all the replies, but sometimes I struggle with this, too. I heard a phrase recently that really helped me, though... Instead of asking, "have I worn/used/etc. this in the past 6/12/etc. months?" ask,

"WOULD I BUY THIS NOW?"

I have felt a little liberated with this. I have been purging better now that I feel like I'm asking the right question.

Oh, that's a great idea! I'll add that to the things I already do


Just today, I got rid of a bunch of baby toys because yesterday we found some awesome baskets at Goodwill (we went to specifically look for baskets). We've been keeping our baby toys in a plastic basket and yesterday we found a wicker basket that's about 2/3 the size of the plastic one we had been using. So.... I put the ones ds plays with the most and that I like the most (all the wooden ones, basically) into the new basket and anything that didn't fit.... oh well We don't have room for it in the new awesome basket. Anything really special got put in the new basket first so the stuff that was left, really wasn't that important to me.

Yesterday we also found a little basket that I wasn't sure what we would use it for at the time, but it ended up being PERFECT for ds's board books. So, we got rid of any board books that didn't fit in the basket, except for two special oversized ones that fit right next to it. I'll try to get a picture later on - I'm under a sleeping baby right now.

Dd2 decided to spend her own money on a GIGANTIC stuffed reindeer yesterday I'm still not terribly thrilled, but before she was allowed to buy it, we talked to her about the issue of space in her room and she agreed to get rid of a small box of other things to make room for the reindeer. It's HUGE. I just cannot even imagine why companies make stuffed animals that are that big. I was almost having a panic attack when she picked it out... but it's her money so, we just set the limits that we were comfortable with, she agreed, and she's been picking out things to get rid of throughout today.


I've also had a lot of success with figuring out exactly where to keep things. If something doesn't have a place and isn't important enough to have a place, then it shouldn't be in the house. Everything needs to have a place where it belongs.

Before I buy ANYTHING, I make sure that I know exactly where I'm going to put it.

I can come back later. I kind of lost my train of thought, but hopefully some of that is helpful

[saturnfire16]

Something I read recently (maybe HTCI?) talks about how your time and energy are valuable, and having things that take up more time and energy than they are worth is stealing that from yourself. I thought that was a really good way to look at it. I often hold on to things too long because I'm broke and I think I can upcycle it or I'll use it someday or I can fix it. But in reality, the time and energy is costing me more VALUE from my life than it would cost to replace the thing if I *really* did need it some day (which I probably won't).

So that pile of stuff you're going to upcycle... how much of your time, at say $20/hour, have you spend looking at it, thinking about it, moving it, before you ever even spend the time it will take to wash it and upcycle it? At is that amount of time and money worth the value you will get from it IF you ever even do the project?

[BarefootBetsy]

I'd love to be able to upcycle, but I'm not that good at sewing. So.... I've been cutting clothes that aren't nice enough to donate (or that are colors I love) into strips (it's relaxing for me too) and braiding them into rugs Dh has promised to help me sew them together, and I can sew by hand, and it looks SO COOL!

You can braid them in such a way that you only have to sew the strips to the next one as you add it (that braiding is too complicated for me...) and if you're doing regular braids then it's something fun for the kids to do also. Mine all have their own braids started

---------- Post added at 03:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:55 PM ----------

Keeping in mind that if that doesn't sound like fun to you, that you shouldn't start a new project! That's just a simple way I've found to reuse the clothes with my limited time and sewing skills. I can braid in the car while dh drives and cut strips at births.

[BarefootBetsy]

These are our two new baskets, in their spot underneath a shelf in our living room. Don't mind the disorganized books above or the rug that needs to be vacuumed

[mommychem]

Me too.