Etiquette question

olive · 10-26-2016, 10:45 PM

Not sure on this one, advice appreciated. We have been invited to a good friend's birthday and have to rsvp in a few days. My brother in law turns 40 the same week and is undecided on a date for his party. Should I give my sister a 'heads up' that we will be busy the day of my friends party? I guess I don't want her to be upset if she sets a date then finds out that we can't make it but on the other hand if I let her know when we are busy she may feel obliged to accommodate us and be annoyed. What would you do??

SalH · 10-26-2016, 11:25 PM

RSVP based on your current situation, and give the family your availability. Or sound family out before you RSVP.

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---------- Post added at 04:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:52 PM ----------

I think the main point as far as etiquette is concerned, is RSVP by the correct date .and stick with your decision. Too many people pull out of things or don't commit because of the possibility of something better coming along.

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Vicki_T · 10-27-2016, 01:15 AM

Yes, I think mention it to your sister, maybe giving her the chance to choose that date as long as she lets you know soon enough that you can rsvp on time.

Aerynne · 10-27-2016, 04:16 AM

I think I would call sil asking if she had a date for bil's party. If you're close you could tell her why you're asking (I just got invited to a party on X date and I wanted to make sure it wasn't going to conflict). I think doing that makes you look thoughtful.

Then RSVP to the party accordingly (I assume that the bil's party would trump the friend's party if you had to choose, right?)

rjy9343 · 10-27-2016, 05:49 AM

I would call my sil and tell her that there is a party on x date and you would like to know when her husband's party will be so you know how to rsvp. Or you can rsvp yes and then mention it to you sil later.

2sunshines · 10-27-2016, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aerynne

I think I would call sil asking if she had a date for bil's party. If you're close you could tell her why you're asking (I just got invited to a party on X date and I wanted to make sure it wasn't going to conflict). I think doing that makes you look thoughtful.

Then RSVP to the party accordingly (I assume that the bil's party would trump the friend's party if you had to choose, right?)

This is how I would handle it too.

olive · 11-04-2016, 12:43 AM

Thanks everyone, we worked it out nicely

10-26-2016, 10:45 PM	#1
olive Rose Bush Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 428	Etiquette question Not sure on this one, advice appreciated. We have been invited to a good friend's birthday and have to rsvp in a few days. My brother in law turns 40 the same week and is undecided on a date for his party. Should I give my sister a 'heads up' that we will be busy the day of my friends party? I guess I don't want her to be upset if she sets a date then finds out that we can't make it but on the other hand if I let her know when we are busy she may feel obliged to accommodate us and be annoyed. What would you do?? __________________ My husband and I have three children.

10-26-2016, 11:25 PM	#2
SalH Rose Trellis Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Adelaide, South Australia Posts: 1,590	Re: Etiquette question RSVP based on your current situation, and give the family your availability. Or sound family out before you RSVP. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk ---------- Post added at 04:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:52 PM ---------- I think the main point as far as etiquette is concerned, is RSVP by the correct date .and stick with your decision. Too many people pull out of things or don't commit because of the possibility of something better coming along. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Sal (41) wife to Matthew (41) Home educating mummy to: DS1 (13), DS2 (11) DS3 (9), DD1 (7), DD2 (5) and DD3 (3).

10-27-2016, 01:15 AM	#3
Vicki_T Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: UK Posts: 4,059	Re: Etiquette question Yes, I think mention it to your sister, maybe giving her the chance to choose that date as long as she lets you know soon enough that you can rsvp on time.

10-27-2016, 04:16 AM	#4
Aerynne Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 27,359	Re: Etiquette question I think I would call sil asking if she had a date for bil's party. If you're close you could tell her why you're asking (I just got invited to a party on X date and I wanted to make sure it wasn't going to conflict). I think doing that makes you look thoughtful. Then RSVP to the party accordingly (I assume that the bil's party would trump the friend's party if you had to choose, right?) __________________ Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day

10-27-2016, 05:49 AM	#5
rjy9343 Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 10,090	Re: Etiquette question I would call my sil and tell her that there is a party on x date and you would like to know when her husband's party will be so you know how to rsvp. Or you can rsvp yes and then mention it to you sil later. __________________ Rita s IstJ Wife to my brilliant geek James iNtJ since 4/08 Mom to our angel boy Jay 5/08 our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10 mellow miracle DS Jacob 7/15 Often Please forgive my frequent typos Standing firmly on Team Lioness!!! Roar!!! I am ready for people to know I am a GCM find me on Facebook

11-04-2016, 12:43 AM	#7
olive Rose Bush Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 428	Re: Etiquette question Thanks everyone, we worked it out nicely __________________ My husband and I have three children.

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