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Old 06-12-2009, 12:44 AM   #1
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Default Collected Past Posts about Touching/Grabbing Things that are Off Limits

First, here is a list of some ideas that have worked for other parents regarding the issue of "Your child wants to play with/touch something that is off limits," and then below the list are collected past posts about "Touching/Grabbing Things that are Off Limits." Please note that each new thread is marked with an .

1. Babyproofing will help make your house safer and less frustrating to your toddler. Cover electrical outlets with covers especially made for that. Put cords out of reach. Put up anything that you would be angry at your child for breaking or that is too dangerous for him to play with.
2. Use alternatives to "no" when possible. For instance, use descriptive words. . . if your child wants to touch the hot faucet, say, "Hot!" Some parents say, "Stop!" (And then offer your child something he *can* touch.)
3. Tell your toddler to put his hands behind his back instead of telling him "no" all the time. This enables him to lean forward and really study an object and may help get rid of his urge to touch it.
4. Teach your toddler how to "just touch." In our family we taught our children that meant they could reach out an index finger and gently touch the object (that way they couldn't grab it, but could satisfy some curiosity). Reach out your index finger to the object and thus help your child remember how to touch (not grab) the object; perhaps draw their attention to the texture of the object, "Feel how bumpy (or smooth) this is."
5. Sometimes it can help if you let your child touch, or even hold something in their lap, under your guidance. Show him how to touch things gently. You can say, "Gentle touches," and demonstrate.
6. If touching is not an option, then distract them. This is kind of like changing the subject. "Hey, take a look over here. Isn't this cool?"
7. Say, "That's not for **insert their name," or, "That's not a toy." Then add, ". . . here is something you can play with."
8. If possible, offer them an alternative that is similar to the desired object. If they want to play with your breakable glass snow globe, offer them a child's plastic snow globe.
9. Sometimes an object is high enough that a child can't reach it, but is so desirable to your child that they get very upset that they can't have it; if offering alternatives or distractions don't work, consider putting the object away in a closet or room where they can't see it so it doesn't continue to make them upset.
10. Give your child a special drawer or cupboard in the kitchen full of toys--perhaps measuring cups, plastic plates, cups, spoons, etc.--your child can play with while you are in the kitchen. This can work for other parts of the house, too. . . for instance, if there is a bookcase with books your child likes to take out and throw on the floor, offer him a shelf on the bookcase with books and toys of his own "You cannot play with these books, but this is your shelf, and you can play with the books on this shelf."

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Title: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: Dizzy Blond on April 27, 2005, 04:36:52 PM
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Reading another post about "don't throw the food" and Crystal's response that the toddler hears "throw the food". How do I reword "don't touch the TV" (dd likes to turn it on & off, on & off) or "don't touch the plate".

"Uh-uh" works pretty well. I was wondering if there was something else?

TIA

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: Teribear on April 27, 2005, 04:45:34 PM
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"Not for DD" was the way we worded it.

If the plate is hot then I'd say that "Not for DD, HOT!" or whatever the reason is that she can't touch the plate.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: ArmsOfLove on April 27, 2005, 05:21:54 PM
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Or "hands off"

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: Teribear on April 27, 2005, 05:24:30 PM
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We also used "Eyes not fingers"...mostly for fragile stuff.

We taught "Look with your eyes not with your fingers" and then shortened it to the reminder phrase "Eyes not fingers".

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: Dizzy Blond on April 27, 2005, 05:41:03 PM
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Thanks! Dh will be glad to have his own statement.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: SillyMommy on April 27, 2005, 05:47:19 PM
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I found that "eyes not fingers" was just too hard for DS so we taught him to touch with ONE finger and be gentle. It works well, he'll now approach a "pretty" and tell me, "just one finger, Mommy." LOL

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: righteous mama on April 27, 2005, 05:52:43 PM
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I realize this isn't teaching, but we're getting to the point that a massive fence around the computer area and tv area sounds really nice. Beth takes off with the click from the computer and plays with buttons on the tv. She's too young to "obey"...I say, "Not for Beth" and she laughs. She thinks we're hilarious.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: jujubnme on April 27, 2005, 06:26:24 PM
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Yep, we put a big wooden trunk in front of the TV for a long time so that ds couldn't reach the buttons. The continuous distracting/redirecting got old really fast. When we finally moved it, he was old enough for it not to be a big problem.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: Radosny Matka on April 27, 2005, 07:17:31 PM
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"That's not a toy" while directing child to a toy.

I gated off our computer when Nathaniel was about 21 months old. It was just easier.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: snlmama on April 27, 2005, 07:52:50 PM
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Quote:
Reading another post about "don't throw the food" and Crystal's response that the toddler hears "throw the food". How do I reword "don't touch the TV" (dd likes to turn it on & off, on & off) or "don't touch the plate".

"Uh-uh" works pretty well. I was wondering if there was something else?
For that specific instance I'd probably say "the TV needs to stay on <or off>".

For other stuff I don't want them to touch I usually say "you need to keep your hands off of <whatever>" or do the one finger touch someone else mentioned if that is acceptable in the situation.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: ArmsOfLove on April 27, 2005, 09:51:52 PM
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Oh, and for $10 you can get a clear plastic tv guard from Babies R Us Money well spent at our house!

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: milkmommy on April 27, 2005, 11:04:41 PM
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Ditto

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: jluvts on April 28, 2005, 11:15:57 AM
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Trupe couldn't resist the urge to touch and change channels. So we put a coffee table in front of the tv. Now he has a little work station and the tv is touch free.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: TulipMama on April 28, 2005, 12:39:01 PM
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Keep your hands to yourself is a phrase we use.

That's a tool, not a toy is another one we use.

I've found my boys have been very intuitive about mechanical / computer devices. I've gone ahead and let them figure out how to use the vcr/dvd/computer at an early age. Your child may still be young for that, but it helped us to teach them responsible use rather than have it completely off limits.

(Embarrassing moment. . . I'm sure many of us are well-skilled at . My nursing toddler didn't think I was giving him enough attention one day and turned off the computer! *blush*)

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: Heather Micaela on April 28, 2005, 02:23:03 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Oh, and for $10 you can get a clear plastic tv guard from Babies R Us Money well spent at our house!
Ditto
we used that until ds learned to pull back the guard a bit to reach the butons! LOL

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: milkmommy on April 28, 2005, 03:58:30 PM
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Quote:
we used that until ds learned to pull back the guard a bit to reach the butons! LOL
Humm ours is really flush and it can't be moved back wih out lifting the TV Its remote contoll only (thats a whole nother issue [/quote]
Deanna

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: snlmama on April 28, 2005, 06:21:21 PM

Quote:
we used that until ds learned to pull back the guard a bit to reach the butons! LOL
Ditto. My ds could get into any type of "childproofing".

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: Marzipan on April 28, 2005, 07:03:27 PM
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Quote:
Oh, and for $10 you can get a clear plastic tv guard from Babies R Us big grin Money well spent at our house! thumbs up
Or you can do like dh, and take a strip of cardboard and a longer strip of duct tape . Not pretty, but just as effective. Just be sure to leave the little remote sensor clear.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: ArmsOfLove on May 03, 2005, 05:38:56 PM
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ds figured out how to pull it back, but I removed him a few times and he lost interest. It wasn't as fun as the buttons all exposed and it was easier for me to hold the cover over the buttons than to try and *block* the buttons.

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Title: Re: how do you say "don't touch the TV"?
Post by: jmom on May 03, 2005, 05:55:21 PM
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In the book I'm reading the author says that what you focus on is what you get. So, by saying Don't touch the T.V., you are focusing on the T.V. and the behavior will continue. Instead of trying to change the phrase Don't blah blah blah, why not redirect your attention to what you want your ds to be doing. Like Let's watch the T.V. show, or Come here and read a book with Mom, or let's blow on the plate to cool it off (so his focus isn't on touching but on doing something to help his situation), or Build mommy a tower. Not just redirecting him to another toy to distract him, but redirecting his focus on what you really want him to be doing. Even if you need to stop what you are doing for the moment and sit down to help him refocus his attention. Does that make sense????


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Title: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: tiglet on May 04, 2005, 10:06:11 AM
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I'm really getting frustrated.
Bonnie is nearly 11 months, and absolutely obsessed with grabbing my glasses. I can't see without them, so just taking them off isn't an option. I play defense around her as best I can, and, up till now, when she grabs, I say "Not yours" and pry them out of her hands, and then distract. Usually means no more face-to-face time for us, though.

I could probably make her stop if I yelled at her, which I don't want to do.

Is this just a long phase I need to wait through? Or does someone know a gentle way to communicate to her that my glasses really aren't something she can slime?

Thanks. I'm nearing the end of my patience on this one.

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: Senta on May 04, 2005, 10:08:22 AM
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don't really have any advice but i know how frustrating it is. That's the reason I have contacts now...

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: SPKarenO on May 04, 2005, 11:48:08 AM
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my 9mo does this too...whats worse...is that when i say sternly...NO...she laughs at me.

anyway...i completely understand your frustration. but can't offer any advice, cause apparently i'm just hysterical when saying no.

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: luvinmykidz on May 04, 2005, 12:04:33 PM
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My DH is struggling with the same thing. DS grabs his glasses constantly and bends them out of shape and smudges them. He made the mistake of sometimes letting DS do this and then other times yelling at him for doing it. I keep telling him you need to be consistant otherwise DS will never know what he can and cannot get away with. I don't have any advice for you but our family is going through that problem too

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: reneandbaby on May 04, 2005, 12:28:18 PM
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Oh yes. Elijah almost thirteen months now (where has time gone! ) and we have been dealing with this for months now.

I'll be holding him and he'll all of a sudden get a thing with my glasses. I have dealt with it by saying "These are for Mama, not Eli" and I hand him something else he can play with.

If that doesn't work (and often it doesn't) I will just take my glasses off for a few minutes. I am very nearsighted and need to wear my glasses 24/7, but I have found it is easier to take them off for five minutes and cuddle and talk to my boy and it breaks the sudden obsession. In a few minutes, when he has focused his attention elsewhere, I can put them back on my face and we can be o.k.

Another thing I have done is get an old pair of glasses with an old prescription and handed those to him when he starts trying to swipe at mine. This also can work well to get him to stop playing with mine.

However, I think it's definitely a phase. All these things help, but I don't think there is a way to eliminate it until they are older. They're so impulsive and it's so tempting and irrestistible!

Very annoying to mommies though, I can second that one!

Rene

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: Blue Aurora on May 05, 2005, 12:26:32 AM
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DS (11 mo) is obsessed with glasses. I wear them half the time when I'm too lazy to put in my contacts. I suggest whenever you get new glasses get the kind that are virtually undestructable. Mine don't look like it but they can be bent in half, twisted in all direction and the lenses are scratch proof, ect. Twice as much as my old ones but we figure it's a good investment with little ones. I usually say "not for Joshua" and take them off for a few min. If I know he's about to grab them I just take them off real quick and put them behind me out of reach. He's getting better. A few month ago he couldn't be distracted from grabbing them the second I put them on now its half and half..sometimes he ignores them and sometimes he grabs. I have no idea when they outgrow this stage. Atleast you know you aren't the only one.

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: sadie on May 05, 2005, 11:53:54 AM
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ITU. Dd does this to me all the time.

It doesn't bother me much though, b/c it's just a phase. I redirect her again and again. She'll stop eventually.

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: ArmsOfLove on May 10, 2005, 09:27:12 AM
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someone may have suggested this already, but what about getting her her own glasses to be *like mommy* and to explore the way she wants to for her age?

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: tiglet on May 10, 2005, 10:26:47 AM
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Wow --- I can't believe I didn't think of that!
I will get her a pair next time I am at the store.

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Title: Re: She won't stop grabbing my glasses....
Post by: ArmsOfLove on May 10, 2005, 11:51:03 AM
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well I can't believe it took me this long to think of it
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Old 06-12-2009, 12:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: Collected Past Posts about Touching/Grabbing Things that are Off Limits

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Title: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: Beauty4Ashes on February 25, 2006, 10:06:12 AM
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I don't like for ds to climb on the chairs on the kitchen table. I don't want for him to be touching the computer. I have tried redirecting him from both, physically moving him away. He still keeps going after the chairs and the computer. I guess the touching is more worrisome to me than the climbing because of dh. He just bought himself a new laptop so that he can watch medically relevant dvd's on it to study for the board exam. Ds's just want to touch it. About the chairs, there is not alot of space to move the chairs to another room and they are heavy to have to keep moving back and forth. He likes dh's chair or mine, the rest don't appeal to him.

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: Embracing Grace on February 25, 2006, 10:19:32 AM
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I know this is probably not the advice you are hoping to hear, but I'd keep redirecting! We have the same issue with ds, he loves to climb EVERYTHING, and get into the dishwasher and the oven ( , I am ALWAYS present when the oven is on, so there is NO CHANCE of him getting in there when it's hot) and pull the racks out. He also loves the toilet.... It's pretty exhausting and frustrating to keep redirecting him, but after doing this for a loooong time, I can finally see some results. The climbing is still an issue, but he is finally leaving the dishwasher and the oven alone! I think he is finally understanding that it is futile to go after those things since I'll only pull him away and get him to do something else. So, I don't know if this helps at all, but I just wanted to share our experience and tell you that there is light at the end of the "redirecting" tunner, you just have to keep going!

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: AmyDoll on February 25, 2006, 10:58:48 AM
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I'd try to make sure that I was redirecting to something appropriate to climb - a step-stool, the stairs, a climbing something
As for the computer, since it's a laptop, can you put it up when it's not in use? I keep mine under the couch and my dh keeps his in the bag. At grandma's we say "that's grandma's and it needs to stay there, let's play with the blocks"

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: Beauty4Ashes on February 25, 2006, 11:31:14 AM
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They try to touch dh's laptop while he's using it. When he's not using it, it's up out of reach. With the desk top, ds1 climbs on the chair and touches the buttons on the computer or keyboard. I am thinking of bringing the keyboard (musical) from up stairs for him to play with instead because he loves plunking the keys and making music.

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: ArmsOfLove on February 26, 2006, 01:20:10 PM
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as much as possible I'd barrier the areas so they can't get to them. move chairs back from the table or put them upside down on it; close doors; block things with gates; etc. The less of a struggle it is the easier it will be to redirect

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: TulipMama on February 26, 2006, 06:49:44 PM
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As someone who has both spanked and redirected to enforce boundaries with toddlers, I just wanted to add in that for all the repetition I did with redirection--I did the same repetition with spanking or smacking hands.

Toddlers are bright. We know that. *grin* Sometimes we enforce a boundary once, and they get it. But the way their brains are developing, for some thing they need lots and lots of repetition.

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: mommy2abigail on February 26, 2006, 07:49:00 PM
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ITA with Tulipmama. We haven't spanked, dd is only 11 months, and luckily we found GBD early! But we have friends that Ezzo'd their dd, right down to the "highchair rules" (not touching their food-how dumb, how are they ever going to learn to feed themselves?!?!) Anyway, they also smaked hands for touching what she was not supposed to, and they smacked her everyday, multiple times. When we said we weren't doing that, they asked, well how will your dd ever learn what not to touch? We told them we'd just redirect, or teach her how to touch things gently. They responded, Oh our dd is way to stubborn to redirect, she would just keep going for it a hundred times. Uhh what do they think she is doing now?!?!? They still smack and spank for the same things they were smacking/spanking for three, six, nine months ago!

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: milkmommy on February 26, 2006, 08:13:25 PM
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those covers for the lap tops and keboards to protect from dust do a great jpb of detering little ones and protect your computer. Storing schairs upside down on the tables can also deter them, other than that redirrect redirrect and remember to reengage in something else as well to break the cycle.

Deanna

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: OpalsMom on February 27, 2006, 10:55:33 AM
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The big trick for us has been choosing what to redirect *to*. So if she's climbing on something inappropriate, I get out the stepstool and put it in the middle of the room and redirect her to that. We bought a used computer keyboard ($2, and a lot of companies have a cache of old broken ones they'll give you for free -- if your DH asks around at school he can probably find a free one), unscrewed it and clipped the cable off inside, put it back together and ran it through the dishwasher. It is now DD's keyboard. When we're on the computer we redirect her to it.

When it's my turn to use the computer, she can sit on my lap if she doesn't touch the computer (actually, she's allowed to touch the screen, gently, just not the keyboard). If she touches the keyboard, I put her down. Since this is the end of the world as we know it, this and a tiny bit of proactiveness (making sure she has something else to do, encouraging her to get "her computer" if she really wants to type) pretty well fixes the problem.

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: Beauty4Ashes on February 27, 2006, 11:19:28 AM
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Hmm, I think the 99 cent store even sells keyboards...It's worth a shot.
Tammy

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Title: Re: let's talk about touching and climbing
Post by: milkmommy on February 27, 2006, 11:27:52 AM
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a local good will will often have some "real ones" for a buck or so,

Deanna
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