Taking money from brother

Sparrow · 11-04-2015, 12:12 PM

How do I deal with stealing? The school is having a book fair today and both boys were going to be given money to spend there. It's the first time in a long time that I've actually been able to not set a ridiculously low limit. I was going to give them $10 each. The books are about three dollars and I've only ever been allowed to get one.
They both have also been saving their money. So they thought of the money that they had was what they got to spend. max came up a little short of what he wanted so he took five dollars out of Bear's piggy bank. bear's piggy bank was the only one with a bill in it.
After lying about it Max finally came clean. I'm not sure how he should make amends to his brother. Giving the money back is a given, but what else would you do? I'm not going to take away getting anything from the book fair. I've asked him to think about what he thinks he should do to make amends.
What would you do?

---------- Post added at 11:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:35 AM ----------

Anyone?

houseforjoy · 11-04-2015, 12:54 PM

Is this a first time type thing? Or does he sometimes take some of his brothers stuff? He's 7?

Aerynne · 11-04-2015, 01:06 PM

Zacchaeus said if he takes anything that isn't his, he restores it fourfold. That could work.

Sparrow · 11-04-2015, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by houseforjoy

Is this a first time type thing? Or does he sometimes take some of his brothers stuff? He's 7?

Second time the accusation came up. It was change last time, so there was no way to "prove" it. He says he doesn't feel bad.

---------- Post added at 12:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:38 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aerynne

Zacchaeus said if he takes anything that isn't his, he restores it fourfold. That could work.

One way or another that comes out of my pocket and I don't have $20. It feels then that I'm the one with the consequence.

Aerynne · 11-04-2015, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Second time the accusation came up. It was change last time, so there was no way to "prove" it. He says he doesn't feel bad.

---------- Post added at 12:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:38 PM ----------

One way or another that comes out of my pocket and I don't have $20. It feels then that I'm the one with the consequence.

Could he do his brother's chores to make up the amount that would be worth?

Sparrow · 11-04-2015, 02:44 PM

No. I don't pay for chores unless it's something above and beyond - like cleaning up their sister's toys, doing her laundry or other stuff that's normally something intend to but can't. And indont pay tons.

3PeasInAPod · 11-04-2015, 04:00 PM

He could still do chores as payment without it involving money directly. ?

Aerynne · 11-04-2015, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3PeasInAPod

He could still do chores as payment without it involving money directly. ?

That's what I was thinking. So if you don't pay for chores, that's fine- just decide that he has to do his brother's chores for however long to make up for it. Or you could not make him but just encourage him that it's a good way to make amends. You know your kids best as far as that goes.

Quiteria · 11-04-2015, 04:34 PM

Could you encourage him to give his brother his extra money for the book fair? You were going to give them each $10 instead of the usual $3ish to get one book...what if he still got to buy one book/item, but gave his brother the rest of his spending money?

kiloyd · 11-04-2015, 06:59 PM

I've been through this and was at a loss too.

I had the child give the money back and apologize.

I don't think you need to do anything else.

Sparrow · 11-04-2015, 09:21 PM

I didn't do anything else!

MariJo7 · 11-05-2015, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I've asked him to think about what he thinks he should do to make amends.

Perhaps you could just wait for a while and see if he comes up with something constructive. And if he does not, you could remind him. His own idea of making amends might be the best one.

bananacake · 11-05-2015, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I didn't do anything else!

But aren't you wanting to do something else? If not, I'm really confused on what you/re asking

Sparrow · 11-05-2015, 09:08 AM

What's confusing? I was told I probably didn't need to do anything else and I replied that I didn't do anything else. We left it as it was. He was not in the emotional position yesterday to have a talk about stealing will probably do that this weekend

bananacake · 11-05-2015, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

What's confusing? I was told I probably didn't need to do anything else and I replied that I didn't do anything else. We left it as it was. He was not in the emotional position yesterday to have a talk about stealing will probably do that this weekend

Sorry. I thought the point of your OP was you wanted to do something else.

11-04-2015, 12:12 PM	#1
Sparrow Rose Garden Immerse your soul in love. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 17,611	Taking money from brother How do I deal with stealing? The school is having a book fair today and both boys were going to be given money to spend there. It's the first time in a long time that I've actually been able to not set a ridiculously low limit. I was going to give them $10 each. The books are about three dollars and I've only ever been allowed to get one. They both have also been saving their money. So they thought of the money that they had was what they got to spend. max came up a little short of what he wanted so he took five dollars out of Bear's piggy bank. bear's piggy bank was the only one with a bill in it. After lying about it Max finally came clean. I'm not sure how he should make amends to his brother. Giving the money back is a given, but what else would you do? I'm not going to take away getting anything from the book fair. I've asked him to think about what he thinks he should do to make amends. What would you do? ---------- Post added at 11:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:35 AM ---------- Anyone? __________________ Manda Mama to: Bear 16.75 Funny and Tender. Larger than life. ENFP Max 14 Affectionate and Spirited. Artist Chickadee 8! She's Sunshine and Song. Born in the caul We have a fur baby. A cat called Charlie

11-04-2015, 12:54 PM	#2
houseforjoy Rose Garden trying to live like olaf "this is the best day of my life!... and quite possibly the last!" Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: in the sunshine with my own personal flurry Posts: 9,563	Re: Taking money from brother Is this a first time type thing? Or does he sometimes take some of his brothers stuff? He's 7? __________________ Amanda, ENFJ Mommy to my bounty: ds 13 years, dd 12 years, dd 9 years , dd 6 and ds 4 Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?....because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

11-04-2015, 01:06 PM	#3
Aerynne Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 27,359	Re: Taking money from brother Zacchaeus said if he takes anything that isn't his, he restores it fourfold. That could work. __________________ Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day

11-04-2015, 02:44 PM	#6
Sparrow Rose Garden Immerse your soul in love. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 17,611	Re: Taking money from brother No. I don't pay for chores unless it's something above and beyond - like cleaning up their sister's toys, doing her laundry or other stuff that's normally something intend to but can't. And indont pay tons. __________________ Manda Mama to: Bear 16.75 Funny and Tender. Larger than life. ENFP Max 14 Affectionate and Spirited. Artist Chickadee 8! She's Sunshine and Song. Born in the caul We have a fur baby. A cat called Charlie

11-04-2015, 04:00 PM	#7
3PeasInAPod Deactivated Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: pnw Posts: 8,571	Re: Taking money from brother He could still do chores as payment without it involving money directly. ?

11-04-2015, 04:34 PM	#9
Quiteria Rose Garden Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 23,483	Re: Taking money from brother Could you encourage him to give his brother his extra money for the book fair? You were going to give them each $10 instead of the usual $3ish to get one book...what if he still got to buy one book/item, but gave his brother the rest of his spending money? __________________ Homeschooling mama to five: a young adult (graduated!), two high schoolers, a big kid, and a kindergartner And yes, they've all aged overnight since the last time you read my out-of-date sigg.

11-04-2015, 06:59 PM	#10
kiloyd Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: South Carolina Posts: 16,108	Re: Taking money from brother I've been through this and was at a loss too. I had the child give the money back and apologize. I don't think you need to do anything else. __________________ k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ISFJ/P Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 22 (adding a dil in August!) dd1 18 dd2 16 ds2 10

11-04-2015, 09:21 PM	#11
Sparrow Rose Garden Immerse your soul in love. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 17,611	Re: Taking money from brother I didn't do anything else! __________________ Manda Mama to: Bear 16.75 Funny and Tender. Larger than life. ENFP Max 14 Affectionate and Spirited. Artist Chickadee 8! She's Sunshine and Song. Born in the caul We have a fur baby. A cat called Charlie

11-05-2015, 09:08 AM	#14
Sparrow Rose Garden Immerse your soul in love. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 17,611	Re: Taking money from brother What's confusing? I was told I probably didn't need to do anything else and I replied that I didn't do anything else. We left it as it was. He was not in the emotional position yesterday to have a talk about stealing will probably do that this weekend __________________ Manda Mama to: Bear 16.75 Funny and Tender. Larger than life. ENFP Max 14 Affectionate and Spirited. Artist Chickadee 8! She's Sunshine and Song. Born in the caul We have a fur baby. A cat called Charlie

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