s/o parenting self-talk

[ArmsOfLove]

Originally Posted by Marsha

this may be OT, but in an earlier thread, a woman said that her mother said "oh well" a lot. Well, my oldest is a DRAMA QUEEN, and I say "I don't care" a lot. I need to find a new phrase. Usually like if I say " you need to go clean your room now" after appropriate transitoning attempts becasue transitioning is difficult for her, she can fall apart and start saying stuff like "i'll just run away" or "i hate you" "you are a mean mom" blah blah blah. And I say "I don't care, just clean your room" in an attempt to focus on what IS rather than the irrational words.

Are you saying I shouldn't do that? Any attempt to validate her at those times come across as "feeding" her reasons to feel the way she feels, and Lord knows she doesn't need more reasons, kwim?

I would not say "I don't care" because you aren't saying what you don't care about and it will be heard, especially by a child prone to big feelings, and simply that--you don't care.

I would just drop that and stick with instructions.

Waaah

You need to go clean your room.

I'm going to run away.

you need to clean your room anyway