Gentle Christian Mothers Community
 
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas

~* Please help keep GCM free by using our
Amazon.com affiliate link. Thank you! *~


Go Back   Gentle Christian Mothers Community > Specific Issues > Gentle Discipline *Public* > GD Info and FAQs *Public*
Forgot Password? Join Us!

GD Info and FAQs *Public* The new home for most of the GD stickies. :)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-18-2010, 02:01 PM   #46
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsha View Post
this may be OT, but in an earlier thread, a woman said that her mother said "oh well" a lot. Well, my oldest is a DRAMA QUEEN, and I say "I don't care" a lot. I need to find a new phrase. Usually like if I say " you need to go clean your room now" after appropriate transitoning attempts becasue transitioning is difficult for her, she can fall apart and start saying stuff like "i'll just run away" or "i hate you" "you are a mean mom" blah blah blah. And I say "I don't care, just clean your room" in an attempt to focus on what IS rather than the irrational words.

Are you saying I shouldn't do that? Any attempt to validate her at those times come across as "feeding" her reasons to feel the way she feels, and Lord knows she doesn't need more reasons, kwim?
I would not say "I don't care" because you aren't saying what you don't care about and it will be heard, especially by a child prone to big feelings, and simply that--you don't care.

I would just drop that and stick with instructions.

Waaah

You need to go clean your room.

I'm going to run away.

you need to clean your room anyway
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
gpsings (04-06-2011), Maggirayne (01-20-2010), Marsha (01-18-2010), StewardofLOs (06-20-2012), Stiina (06-20-2012), TenderLovingWillow (01-19-2013), Vicki_T (02-02-2010)
Old 01-18-2010, 02:45 PM   #47
DancingWithElves
Rose Garden
I support GCM!
 
Blissed out in the January sun
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: that perfect place :)
Posts: 11,701
DancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

So, my son gets my goat. easy-peasy. our personalities work like that. and i can get SO wrapped up in a situation, i see no way out. and i do things i regret. example:
(eight months ago or so) i'm changing him. everything fine. suddenly, he kicks me, hard. flashback to being physically abused by my father (being smacked when i least expect it). i start to explain to myself: "he is a child, he is impulsive, he does not mean to hurt you" but this is taking too long and ds already kicked me again. All i can see is red, my face is provoking him to also start looking very angry and hateful and he continues kicking and i CAN NOT STOP putting that diaper on, as if my life depends on it, it must be put.on.now. and a few seconds later i scream out and him ds back. and then i feel depressed for days, completely powerless and messed up beyond repair.

ok, so lesson learned: self talk was too slow and this scenario makes me feel powerless.

so next time this same thing happens, except when i realize i'm holding my breath and ds is starting to look like something evil to me, i just drop my hands to my sides, and walk away. just like that. deep breath. i go pee. POWER. i feel on top of the world. and funny thing is, i don't even need to validate, or talk to myself about anything anymore. it's GONE. poof. just like that. and i go back to finishing that diaper with ds grinning at me.

so, i learned that sometimes self-talk is too slow, and i just need to walk away, and *then* deal with it, or sometimes, "it" is no longer there to even deal with after i'm out of the situation.

validating my own feelings:
sometimes i can't do it after someone else denied it to me. example: my layer acted like what happened in the collision was not a big deal. i'm mad: hurt, belittled, patronized. but i feel like now i can't validate my feelings b/c he didn't. it's hard for me when that happens. i usually have to wait. yesterday i managed to explain to myself that:
1. he never met me
2. he's not a doctor
3. he is trying to close the case, b/c that what *I* want, and he can't very well close it and at the same time acknowledge that I am not well.

after i did all that i can better validate what i am feeling...

just a lot of thinking out loud.
__________________
~I r e n e~
sweet and sassy wife, mama, healer, part-time dragon-slayer
the worst PM answerer ever
my belongs to the babywearing 'Architect'
Dancing with my three Magical Elves Smiles the Stampede Sugar Plump & Double Dimples

Kissing each elf 1,000,000 times a day, and when there's time left tracking gnomes, singing folk songs on the porch, befriending dragonflies, and bopping sun-frosted 'fros through the dandelion fields.

DancingWithElves is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to DancingWithElves For This Useful Post:
Auroras mom (06-13-2010), curlymopmom (01-29-2010), jmom1984 (07-20-2011), kwisie (01-19-2010), SewingGreenMama (06-10-2012), StewardofLOs (06-20-2012), Vicki_T (02-02-2010)
Old 01-18-2010, 04:56 PM   #48
allisonintx
Rose Garden
 
Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: catching up on the laundry
Posts: 41,294
allisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

yes, WALK AWAY is always a good first thing to do, when you're seeing red. You can't self-talk in that kind of crisis. Breathing space is a must when things are like that.
__________________


allisonintx
Wife to Stephen
Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12

Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home.
. . . . . . .



allisonintx is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to allisonintx For This Useful Post:
kwisie (01-19-2010), shaslove (03-29-2011), TenderLovingWillow (01-19-2013), Vicki_T (02-02-2010)
Old 01-18-2010, 11:08 PM   #49
Blue-EyedLady
Rose Garden
 
The Lion Cub
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Northern Arizona
Posts: 10,798
Blue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Ok, walk me through this one: DS has a poopy diaper. He's having an food allergy reaction, so the diaper is more like diarrhea - poop everywhere that doesn't wipe up easily. DS is being uncooperative (because he's 2 yo or is having an allergic reaction, hard to tell), and is trying to get his hands down in the business while arching his back and making it impossible to clean him up.

My current MO = try to pin down all 4 limbs simultaneously in a most ungentle way while wiping up the mess while yelling at him to relax and hold still. Not working so well for any of us...

I can't walk away - there are multiple safety issues at play here (the poop could easily end up in his mouth, he could end up flipping off the changing table and hurting himself) not to mention the potential for HUGE mess. The only self-talk I can think of in the moment is "He's only a kid. He just wants to play. His tummy doesn't feel good, that's why he's acting this way." Lovely words, but I'm still seeing red...
__________________
Mama to The Engineer (7 yo) "When I grow up, I'm going to build Highway 100!"
The Imaginative Adventurer (4.5 yo) "I'm going to rescue you!"
and The Lion Cub (1 yo)- Smart, cute, strong, and unstoppable!

Sister to BlessedBlue forever

Co-Founder and Lead Writer at Food Allergies On Ice

Blue-EyedLady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2010, 11:21 PM   #50
Firebird Rising
Rose Garden
 
Encircling Mountains
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: High above a great and beautiful canyon in a Golden State city...
Posts: 19,063
Firebird Rising has disabled reputation
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

change him on the floor. It was too hard to change on a table after a while. When they're on the floor, I put a changing pad down and strap it just above their chest. Sometimes when they are kicking, I will pin their legs down with the side of my knees (I sit cross-legged) while I get them cleaned up.

Anyway, I'd definitely take him off the table and put the pad on the floor at that age.

jen D.
__________________

Привет! Меня зовут Джен!
Hi! My name is Jen!



May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks - Gandalf

Firebird Rising is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Firebird Rising For This Useful Post:
Blue-EyedLady (01-18-2010)
Old 01-18-2010, 11:36 PM   #51
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

lay him on the floor in front of you with his feet towards your body and his head straight out. Use your feet, one on each arm, to gently keep him from sticking his hands into the mess. Change as quick as you can while you sing a song about diaper changing
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
Blue-EyedLady (01-18-2010), RedPetals (04-15-2011)
Old 01-18-2010, 11:51 PM   #52
DancingWithElves
Rose Garden
I support GCM!
 
Blissed out in the January sun
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: that perfect place :)
Posts: 11,701
DancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond reputeDancingWithElves has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

yep. what they said. i also learned "stabilizing" and then walking away. in your case it may be taking off the diaper, wiping him up, and then walking away if you still need to calm down. i've done that a lot when saleem was just under and just past two.
__________________
~I r e n e~
sweet and sassy wife, mama, healer, part-time dragon-slayer
the worst PM answerer ever
my belongs to the babywearing 'Architect'
Dancing with my three Magical Elves Smiles the Stampede Sugar Plump & Double Dimples

Kissing each elf 1,000,000 times a day, and when there's time left tracking gnomes, singing folk songs on the porch, befriending dragonflies, and bopping sun-frosted 'fros through the dandelion fields.

DancingWithElves is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2010, 11:53 PM   #53
Blue-EyedLady
Rose Garden
 
The Lion Cub
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Northern Arizona
Posts: 10,798
Blue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond reputeBlue-EyedLady has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove View Post
lay him on the floor in front of you with his feet towards your body and his head straight out. Use your feet, one on each arm, to gently keep him from sticking his hands into the mess. Change as quick as you can while you sing a song about diaper changing
I'm picturing this position, and I'm DS would worm his way out of this in about 10 seconds. He's strong, and I'm not. He's flexible, I can't touch my toes. I usually lean most of the weight of my upper body on his arms and legs to keep them contained. If my foot is on his arm, I will be too far away to be able to reach DS's bottom, and his arms and legs will be too far away from my center of gravity to be able to exert any meaningful pressure. So from a practical standpoint, I don't understand how this would work.

And I don't see how this helps with the whole self-talk part of the discussion, either. Maybe I'm missing the point, but I thought that the self-talk is to get you to the point where you can be calm instead of angry and yelling? FWIW, this exact scenario plays out several times each day at our house. It doesn't matter if it's DH or I (or both of us) changing the diaper - neither one of us can keep our cool in this situation.

I must be missing some important piece of the puzzle here - please help me understand!

---------- Post added at 11:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:53 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by belaruska View Post
yep. what they said. i also learned "stabilizing" and then walking away. in your case it may be taking off the diaper, wiping him up, and then walking away if you still need to calm down. i've done that a lot when saleem was just under and just past two.
What does "stabilizing" mean?
__________________
Mama to The Engineer (7 yo) "When I grow up, I'm going to build Highway 100!"
The Imaginative Adventurer (4.5 yo) "I'm going to rescue you!"
and The Lion Cub (1 yo)- Smart, cute, strong, and unstoppable!

Sister to BlessedBlue forever

Co-Founder and Lead Writer at Food Allergies On Ice

Blue-EyedLady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2010, 11:58 PM   #54
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

there are multiple issues in the diaper scenario. the very real issue of poop everywhere and self talk. The singing reminds me that this is not really a big deal in the scheme of things. I can't change the poop situation, and have to change the diaper

I am thinking you aren't picturing what I'm trying to describe because I have no idea how it would through your center of gravity off I'll try to get a picture uploaded but for now let me try describing again.

You sit on the floor with your knees bent and your feet out in front of you. Put him between your legs, laying down, looking at you, with his feet in your hands (so you can lift his legs and change his diaper ) Pin his arms to the ground with your feet and, if necessary, use the inside of your calves/feet to hold his upper body still. It's very gentle and practical but it may take a picture to explain
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2010, 12:10 AM   #55
Codi
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 25,840
Codi has disabled reputation
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

What do you do when you can't walk away? Like, if your children are following you around your tiny house and your just trying to get one second to think a clear thought through one crying and one asking something you've already said no to a gazillion times. Would you lock yourself in the bathroom and try to self talk in there?

One of my biggest triggers is what I bolded below.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove View Post

hungry
anxious/nervous
lonely
tired
needing to pee
frustrated
disappointed
sad
unsure/confused
trying to think and internal or external forces won't let me (bad for an ADD mama w/ 5 children )
__________________

MOMMY TO
A - 14
A - 11
N - 8
Codi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2010, 12:14 AM   #56
CapeTownMommy
Deactivated
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Posts: 8,685
CapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond reputeCapeTownMommy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

This thread has been more helpful than I can say in words.
CapeTownMommy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CapeTownMommy For This Useful Post:
abh5e8 (01-31-2010), Annalou (01-19-2013), SewingGreenMama (06-10-2012)
Old 01-19-2010, 01:48 AM   #57
Mum2Es
Rose Trellis
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,552
Mum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond reputeMum2Es has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
What do you do when you can't walk away? Like, if your children are following you around your tiny house and your just trying to get one second to think a clear thought through one crying and one asking something you've already said no to a gazillion times. Would you lock yourself in the bathroom and try to self talk in there?
This is a very familiar scenario for me...if I really can't get a grip on my anger and I know I NEED a second to myself, I stick a dummy in the baby's mouth, turn the TV on, and walk outside onto the deck. TV has an instant mesmerising effect on my kids and I can stand outside in the fresh air and take a few calming breaths and get perspective.
__________________
Homeschooling Mumma to Princess (6 Feb 05) and Chicken (20 Jul 08).
Little sister of Meli.
Mum2Es is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mum2Es For This Useful Post:
SewingGreenMama (06-10-2012)
Old 01-19-2010, 03:48 AM   #58
Can Dance
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 7,336
Can Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond reputeCan Dance has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I think I am getting better at this. I am starting to recognise hunger in myself, or when I am truly preoccupied with something else. I was on the phone with the insurance company this morning over a massive house repair problem and I am wound up super tight about the cost and concerned they will refuse to cover it. anyway, the kids were also asking for bfast at the same time, and for cereal that they've eaten all of. I got snippy with them, super snippy when it wasn't them, it was *my* stress over this insurance/repair situation across the ocean to deal with. I felt bad they got the brunt of my short replies and basically growling at them while I was on the phone.

however, I was going to say that I did EXACTLY what Allison said about my kids room. except I was probably a bit more mad about it. I was like " I see your room and I am SO UPSET about it. I work SO HARD cleaning your clothes, folding your clothes and then you guys pull them out of your dresser and throw them all over your room and it makes me SO ANGRY." I didn't insult them, or belittle, but I was mad. my oldest dd is finally at the point where she is "getting" this, and I'd like to say happily cleaned her room, but she didn't until the next day with a bit of help. now if I could just take my yell-e voice out of it, I think I would be doing okay....
in some ways I cant WAIT to parent older kids, I feel so much better with parenting my oldest all ready. we can have real conversations that she understands. its lovely.
__________________
Mum to MayFlowers:
DD1 4/2004
DD2 13/2006
DS 24/2009
and my Hawaiian Surprise
DS 9/1/11
Can Dance is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2010, 06:18 AM   #59
Marsha
Rose Garden
I support GCM!
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 15,359
Marsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond reputeMarsha has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Codi View Post
What do you do when you can't walk away? Like, if your children are following you around your tiny house and your just trying to get one second to think a clear thought through one crying and one asking something you've already said no to a gazillion times. Would you lock yourself in the bathroom and try to self talk in there?

One of my biggest triggers is what I bolded below.
me too, I totally have ADHD, and I never knew this symptom until I had kids!! My coping skills didn't work when I had tiny kids who wanted mommy, mommy,. mommy.

I think that's the source of a lot of my rage and out of control feeling, and certainly didn't help the depression. My AD (wellbutrin) actually helps with the ADHD as well as the depression. For that, it's a godsend. In fact, I wonder if helping my ADHD wasn't as helpful to my overall wellbeing as helping the depression.
__________________
Marsha Learning to be a single, wohm mom to my girls Ainslee (June 10, 2002) and Riley (August 9, 2005)!
Marsha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2010, 06:22 AM   #60
allisonintx
Rose Garden
 
Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: catching up on the laundry
Posts: 41,294
allisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond reputeallisonintx has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
What do you do when you can't walk away? Like, if your children are following you around your tiny house and your just trying to get one second to think a clear thought through one crying and one asking something you've already said no to a gazillion times. Would you lock yourself in the bathroom and try to self talk in there?
Yes, actually, I have spent a good deal of time locked in my bathroom for the WALK AWAY & BREATHE portion of the program.

The kids may be beating on the door, but I'm breathing so I'm not screaming or hitting.

FWIW, I think that there is a time and a place for yelling. I'm not opposed to using my Big Voice, and I do it regularly enough. I just want to make sure that when I do, it's an attention getting tool and not being used to guilt/shame/intimidate my children into submission.
__________________


allisonintx
Wife to Stephen
Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12

Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home.
. . . . . . .



allisonintx is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to allisonintx For This Useful Post:
abh5e8 (01-31-2010), Bonnie (01-19-2013), CapeTownMommy (01-19-2010), Codi (01-19-2010), hopeforchange (01-19-2010), PaperMomma (12-15-2011), SewingGreenMama (06-10-2012), ShepherdsWife (10-16-2013), StewardofLOs (06-20-2012), TenderLovingWillow (01-19-2013), thrillofhope (10-14-2013)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:32 AM.


A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.

Amazon.com affiliate link

Copyright 1997-2017 by Gentle Christian Mothers™
An alternative-minded, evangelical Christian community supporting attachment parenting and natural living.

Do not post content elsewhere.
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/

Some smilies created and copyrighted by Mazeguy.
Some smilies and avatars created and copyrighted by flowermama and children -- do not use elsewhere.

Soli Deo Gloria
To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 16:27 (KJV)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information
  • Page Generation 0.13502 seconds
  • Memory Usage 8,185KB
  • Queries Executed 16 (?)
More Information
Template Usage:
  • (1)SHOWTHREAD
  • (1)ad_footer_end
  • (1)ad_footer_start
  • (1)ad_header_end
  • (1)ad_header_logo
  • (1)ad_navbar_below
  • (1)ad_showthread_beforeqr
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_sig
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_start
  • (7)bbcode_quote
  • (1)cyb_flashimagebanners
  • (1)footer
  • (1)forumjump
  • (1)forumrules
  • (1)gobutton
  • (1)header
  • (1)headinclude
  • (1)navbar
  • (4)navbar_link
  • (60)option
  • (1)pagenav
  • (1)pagenav_curpage
  • (7)pagenav_pagelink
  • (1)pagenav_pagelinkrel
  • (15)post_groan_box
  • (1)post_groan_javascript
  • (1)post_groan_navbar_search
  • (15)post_thanks_box
  • (36)post_thanks_box_bit
  • (1)post_thanks_javascript
  • (1)post_thanks_navbar_search
  • (8)post_thanks_postbit_legacy
  • (15)postbit_legacy
  • (15)postbit_onlinestatus
  • (115)postbit_reputation
  • (15)postbit_wrapper
  • (4)showthread_bookmarksite
  • (1)smqre_editor_button
  • (1)spacer_close
  • (1)spacer_open
  • (1)tagbit_wrapper 

Phrase Groups Available:
  • global
  • inlinemod
  • postbit
  • posting
  • reputationlevel
  • showthread
Included Files:
  • ./showthread.php
  • ./global.php
  • ./includes/init.php
  • ./includes/class_core.php
  • ./includes/config.php
  • ./includes/functions.php
  • ./includes/class_hook.php
  • ./includes/functions_notice.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner.php
  • ./mobiquo/include/classTTConnection.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner/head.inc.php
  • ./includes/functions_bigthree.php
  • ./includes/class_postbit.php
  • ./includes/class_bbcode.php
  • ./includes/functions_reputation.php
  • ./includes/adminfunctions_template.php
  • ./includes/functions_misc.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_groan.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_postinfo_query
  • fetch_postinfo
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • fetch_musername
  • notices_check_start
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • template_groups
  • template_safe_functions
  • template_compile
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_start
  • post_thanks_function_show_thanks_date_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_end
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_start
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_end
  • reputation_image
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • error_fetch
  • pagenav_page
  • pagenav_complete
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete