2 Kids, Patience enough for 1

[Beth1231]

My daughter was nearly four when my son was born and I remember it well. Your oldest has been the center of your universe for so long. It takes a good year for everyone to settle in to the new normal.
I also started saying "Right now,it's baby's turn to eat then it's Your turn to eat." And please don't forget,its good for her to hear "Now it's Mommys turn to eat."
I did a sensory activity with her whenever I felt we could handle it. Its a great way for a four year old to work through tension and to learn all sorts of things. We did play with rice,beans,water,paint,chalk,nature items,ice/salt,playdough and any other sensory thing I could manage. She would sit and stir,mix,measure and sift. I sat and watched her and nursed the baby.
Another big one is walks. You're in the thick of winter,but I think you'll find some freedom in spring. We also have one car,I understand

[JenniferJuniper]

Thank you so much for the encouragement!
After posting my first post here and starting to read the book "Desperate" I've been feeling better.
I also own this bracelet, I haven't worn it in years, just ten beads and a cross are on it; its very simple (it's actually a rosary decade, so you can say the rosary without having to carry around the whole necklace.) Anyway, it's become a really good visual reminder for my patience and my goal to soften myself.
It slides around on my wrist, so I'm always concious of it.
I have no idea why it's helping but it really, really is, whenever I get that feeling to snip or snap, I normally notice my bracelet and it gives me that moment to take a breath, and readjust.

My four year old is sick, and my house is a bomb, but I have my coffee, and my 3 month old (Lainey) is happily cooing and trying to roll onto her tummy beside me, so life is good.
Now to see if I can actually get anything done today!

[ValiantJoy07]

4 is the hardest toddler/preschool age for me. I'm not sure if it is because it is a difficult age, some thing development that happens at 4 that I really struggle with? Or maybe partially because 4/looks bigger and can do so much more than at three but the behaviors of three that annoyed me are "still" happening, and seem to stand out more?

Either way, I'm in my third 4 year old, and my third time of doing it with a baby nursing at night and it tries my patience just as much as it did with my first.

I don't really have any advice, currently my go to response is to sit down take a few deep breaths and invite dd3 in for a snuggle. If I can set the baby down for a few minutes, even better. It's easier with her, her love language is physical touch. I can fill her little love bank pretty easily and calm the storms that be with a long hug.


4 is still a baby. An almost grown baby, but the needs are as real...its just that the cry for snuggles and empathy come out in growls, whines, fits, and noodle body episodes.