Yelling Support Thread - Page 22

Tandem mama · 01-04-2012, 05:33 AM

I've been short with sunshine lately. She's been very contrary and had a bad attitude. I'm so frustrated!

MamaPepper · 01-04-2012, 05:50 AM

Ooooohhhhh. . . I SO need to be a part of this!!! I'm subbing so that I can come back and read through this when I have a bit more time! GREAT idea for a support thread!!!

(ps. . . have I mentioned yet how very happy I am to be back on GCM?!

)

canadiyank · 01-04-2012, 09:26 AM

I like age 4 but it can be challenging as well. I found scripting what I want to hear especially helpful, as well as differentiating between a "high/whiny" and "low/pleasant" tone of voice.

Tandem mama · 01-04-2012, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadiyank

I like age 4 but it can be challenging as well. I found scripting what I want to hear especially helpful, as well as differentiating between a "high/whiny" and "low/pleasant" tone of voice.

I've been scripting and if she whines I say "I'm sorry. I can see your mouth moving but I can't hear you. You must be whining! Try again please"

Or if she is being sassy I do the same "you must be sassing me right now."

It gets exhausting!

canadiyank · 01-04-2012, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tandem mama

It gets exhausting!

Yes, it sure is!

It's helpful at a neutral time to talk about the "high/whining" tone vs. the "low/pleasant" tone. Demonstrate. My kids (when it's not in the moment) have thought it's really hilarious to see me demonstrate the "high/whining" voice.

Then, in the moment, scripting, "I'd like to hear that in a more pleasant tone of voice. 'Mommy, can you help me, please?'"

It is absolutely exhausting, you're right about that. It does get better, though! Eventually you can cut it down to, "Try again in a pleasant tone," and then just, "Try again, please." I won't say my kids don't whine anymore but it really, really helps. My 10 yr old is pretty much past that phase and my 7 yo is pretty good with a quick reminder needed sometimes. There's something about that "high/whining" tone of voice that just sets a person on edge, isn't there?

Ellen · 01-04-2012, 02:18 PM

On top of transitioning home from a very stimulating holiday vacation, I am dealing with major PMS. DH was still home Mon. and Tues. so I was able to rest up, though he and I had a few heated/emotional exchanges. Today I am not faring so well. I've screamed a few times at the kids and even screamed "D____ it!" in front of them. I never swear. Seriously. I feel like a horrible mama today.

I just want to stay in bed and cry. But my kids need me to take them to the park. I think we'll be okay after we get out.

---------- Post added at 09:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:16 PM ----------

Triggers today have mostly been A. resisting instructions. We had altercations over her getting dressed and cleaning up her stuff. I really need to figure out how to handle those triggers on these hormonal days.

simplegirl · 01-04-2012, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellen

Triggers today have mostly been A. resisting instructions. We had altercations over her getting dressed and cleaning up her stuff. I really need to figure out how to handle those triggers on these hormonal days.

Arming yourself with good supplements has helped me with the pms. I'm now taking Vitex particularly for this.

jmom1984 · 01-04-2012, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simplegirl

Arming yourself with good supplements has helped me with the pms. I'm now taking Vitex particularly for this.

I have been taking supplements for several months now to help with PMS/PMDD. They have been helping a lot! I started a thread a while back for suggestions of what to take and I'm sure there are others if you search. Hormones can be rough

Ellen · 01-04-2012, 04:28 PM

Are they safe while nursing?

jmom1984 · 01-04-2012, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellen

Are they safe while nursing?

Honestly not sure, I started them after weaning. I'm sure someone around here wiser than myself knows

---------- Post added at 07:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:04 PM ----------

Auroras mom gave me the recommendations that I ended up taking, so maybe you can ask her

tnaallen · 01-04-2012, 08:50 PM

I'm really, REALLY, in need of this thread. I lost it today and my oldest (8 next week) went off crying to her church group tonight with dh, telling him that she doesn't feel loved and we can't go a day without yelling.

The not feeling loved thing I take with a grain of salt, since she says that sometimes, just for being disciplined. She's going through a sassy and dramatic phase.

Seriously though, I feel like I do yell alot, primarily for plain old ignoring, even if I get right down at their level and in their face to make sure they heard me. Even though the last few days have been really good (alot of intentional focus on not yelling on my part), today was a big bust.

it's hard for me to find triggers, but the only thing I could come up with today is that we went back to no tv/computer games in the day now that holidays are over and school is back (homeschool).

Looks like I have alot of posts to read through, so off I go.

01-05-2012, 01:02 AM

*Hugs* just reading quickly as I need to get my kids to bed. It's been my nearly 6 year old doing most of the yelling lately.

at least I feel I'm finally getting some tools to help her. She's always been explosive which I'm sure she gets from me & I feel so bad when I don't know how to help her express things better.

I haven't yelled too much lately & I'm sure my homoeopathic thyroid remedies that I'm back on are helping. I'm also getting extra sleep lately which makes suuuuch a difference. I'm trying to set my biggest kiddie up with something to do & then go off for a day nap with my two younger ones. I've been getting one or sometimes two day naps a week which is really helping me cope.

jandjmommy · 01-06-2012, 08:28 AM

Have to go back and read everything here; forgive me if this not on the right track.
I absolutely lost my mind last night and yelled at DS7 really loudly and forcefully over something relatively minor (though definitely my biggest trigger).
He started crying and told me not to yell at him.
I apologized and got right back on the wagon, but I feel extremely guilty.

On the bright side, I feel a little better knowing that a few years ago he wouldn't have even flinched because the yelling happened so often. And I wouldn't have even noticed I had damaged him.

mollobe · 01-09-2012, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jandjmommy

On the bright side, I feel a little better knowing that a few years ago he wouldn't have even flinched because the yelling happened so often. And I wouldn't have even noticed I had damaged him.

This really hit home for me. I feel like ds "doesn't even flinch" when I get upset and yell.

Which, of course, makes me more mad because he basically ignores me, making me feel like I have no control at all of the situation.

Back on the wagon for me.

celestial princess · 01-09-2012, 10:19 AM

More encouragement,from Sally Clarkson, on The Gentleness Challenge

01-04-2012, 05:33 AM	#316
Tandem mama Rose Garden In my world everyone's a pony Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies Posts: 11,743	Re: Yelling Support Thread I've been short with sunshine lately. She's been very contrary and had a bad attitude. I'm so frustrated! __________________ I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1) Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014

01-04-2012, 05:50 AM	#317
MamaPepper Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 11,414	Re: Yelling Support Thread Ooooohhhhh. . . I SO need to be a part of this!!! I'm subbing so that I can come back and read through this when I have a bit more time! GREAT idea for a support thread!!! (ps. . . have I mentioned yet how very happy I am to be back on GCM?! ) __________________ E Single Mama to 3 beautiful boys, ages 8, 6 & 4. Photographer & Designer My Photography My Webpage

01-04-2012, 09:26 AM	#318
canadiyank Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central WA Posts: 17,196	Re: Yelling Support Thread I like age 4 but it can be challenging as well. I found scripting what I want to hear especially helpful, as well as differentiating between a "high/whiny" and "low/pleasant" tone of voice.

01-04-2012, 02:18 PM	#321
Ellen Deactivated Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 3,058	Re: Yelling Support Thread On top of transitioning home from a very stimulating holiday vacation, I am dealing with major PMS. DH was still home Mon. and Tues. so I was able to rest up, though he and I had a few heated/emotional exchanges. Today I am not faring so well. I've screamed a few times at the kids and even screamed "D____ it!" in front of them. I never swear. Seriously. I feel like a horrible mama today. I just want to stay in bed and cry. But my kids need me to take them to the park. I think we'll be okay after we get out. ---------- Post added at 09:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:16 PM ---------- Triggers today have mostly been A. resisting instructions. We had altercations over her getting dressed and cleaning up her stuff. I really need to figure out how to handle those triggers on these hormonal days.

01-04-2012, 04:28 PM	#324
Ellen Deactivated Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 3,058	Re: Yelling Support Thread Are they safe while nursing?

01-04-2012, 08:50 PM	#326
tnaallen Rose Garden Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 4,775	Re: Yelling Support Thread I'm really, REALLY, in need of this thread. I lost it today and my oldest (8 next week) went off crying to her church group tonight with dh, telling him that she doesn't feel loved and we can't go a day without yelling. The not feeling loved thing I take with a grain of salt, since she says that sometimes, just for being disciplined. She's going through a sassy and dramatic phase. Seriously though, I feel like I do yell alot, primarily for plain old ignoring, even if I get right down at their level and in their face to make sure they heard me. Even though the last few days have been really good (alot of intentional focus on not yelling on my part), today was a big bust. it's hard for me to find triggers, but the only thing I could come up with today is that we went back to no tv/computer games in the day now that holidays are over and school is back (homeschool). Looks like I have alot of posts to read through, so off I go. __________________ Amy Life Partner to Mom to 1/2004, 7/2006, Baby boy 6/16/08-6/20/08, 4/2010, 2/2014

01-05-2012, 01:02 AM	#327
RainbowMummy Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Yelling Support Thread Hugs just reading quickly as I need to get my kids to bed. It's been my nearly 6 year old doing most of the yelling lately. at least I feel I'm finally getting some tools to help her. She's always been explosive which I'm sure she gets from me & I feel so bad when I don't know how to help her express things better. I haven't yelled too much lately & I'm sure my homoeopathic thyroid remedies that I'm back on are helping. I'm also getting extra sleep lately which makes suuuuch a difference. I'm trying to set my biggest kiddie up with something to do & then go off for a day nap with my two younger ones. I've been getting one or sometimes two day naps a week which is really helping me cope.

01-06-2012, 08:28 AM	#328
jandjmommy Rose Bouquet Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 750	Re: Yelling Support Thread Have to go back and read everything here; forgive me if this not on the right track. I absolutely lost my mind last night and yelled at DS7 really loudly and forcefully over something relatively minor (though definitely my biggest trigger). He started crying and told me not to yell at him. I apologized and got right back on the wagon, but I feel extremely guilty. On the bright side, I feel a little better knowing that a few years ago he wouldn't have even flinched because the yelling happened so often. And I wouldn't have even noticed I had damaged him. __________________ DS 10 DD 7 north Phoenix

01-09-2012, 10:19 AM	#330
celestial princess Rose Garden ...sometimes I can't see it for the trees Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 4,145	Re: Yelling Support Thread More encouragement,from Sally Clarkson, on The Gentleness Challenge __________________ Take everything I say with a pinch of INTJ Totally T4 c = Δ

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