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Old 11-30-2011, 10:30 AM   #241
Daria_Aleksandrovna
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Also ladies, how did you find your ability to be patient change with subsequent children? I have two boys but went through toddlerhood only once yet...[
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Old 11-30-2011, 10:57 AM   #242
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmom1984 View Post
Silly as it may be, I got the idea from a friend to just break out singing the fruits of the Spirit when I feel the anger rising and the yelling wanting to come out... "Love, joy, peace, and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-contro-o-ol..." It actually really helps. It reminds me to be all those things instead of angry and yelling, and it distracts the kids just long enough to halt whatever they were doing that was so getting to me. Then I find I have gained control of myself and can see the conflict for what is, a teachable moment, and take advantage of that opportunity. Simple, but effective many times!
Need this thread so bad today.

Random songs I break into to keep me from blowing my lid.

Jesus keep me near the cross
May my Steps be Worship
Create in me a clean heart
Peace like a river (re-written, instead of I've got... I need)

Hoping to modify some lyrics of different songs out there to match my prayers.


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Old 11-30-2011, 11:01 AM   #243
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by Akina View Post
Rough morning... Massive fit... Sick baby = no sleep at night = harder time not to yell when DS is all about "no". I feel so bad and sorry, I'm the adult, I shouldn't yell. I dug out a bracelet we made at mops with different stones, each representing one, and it helps me to look at it to remind me to be patient and loving. I think DS knows how to push my buttons, but I shouldn't react. It's so tough sometimes.
No fun at all. Hope you get better soon
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Old 11-30-2011, 02:09 PM   #244
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

This day is getting worse... I managed to bust our garage door (the lowest panel is broken). I'm so mad at myself. This is probably going to cost a fortune. I'm shaking all over and this happen 3 hours ago. Still shaking.
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Old 11-30-2011, 08:23 PM   #245
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by urbanfamily View Post
Also ladies, how did you find your ability to be patient change with subsequent children? I have two boys but went through toddlerhood only once yet...[
It really depends - I didn't find I got much better, my second one had a stronger personality, but I was healthier in general so...kind of balanced out, I guess. Even with my third toddler I get frustrated but it's much easier to see it as "childish" behaviour vs. absolute defiance that they're out to get me. Still need more skills, that's why this thread. I think lack of sleep and hormones are what do me in more than anything my children do or don't do...
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Old 12-01-2011, 09:33 AM   #246
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I am NOT going to yell today. NOT. It is still a struggle sometimes to not spank my kids-but I am not going there because it is wrong. So is yelling. Why can I not just stop. I know it is wrong. It can cause as much damage (or more) than spanking could sometimes.

We have had a few days with lots of yelling. I am not sure why, except that I was feeling overwhelmed...Which is not an excuse-just something to be aware of.

I thought since this was an accountability thread that my typing it here-putting it out there-would re enforce my commitment today. We are going to have a good day, by golly!!
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Old 12-01-2011, 10:56 AM   #247
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christina+5 View Post
I am NOT going to yell today. NOT. It is still a struggle sometimes to not spank my kids-but I am not going there because it is wrong. So is yelling. Why can I not just stop. I know it is wrong. It can cause as much damage (or more) than spanking could sometimes.

We have had a few days with lots of yelling. I am not sure why, except that I was feeling overwhelmed...Which is not an excuse-just something to be aware of.

I thought since this was an accountability thread that my typing it here-putting it out there-would re enforce my commitment today. We are going to have a good day, by golly!!
looking forward to hearing how your day is going
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Old 12-01-2011, 01:09 PM   #248
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Not yelling is much easier without toxic friendships in my life. When I stay away from yellers I'm less of a yeller
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Last edited by Tandem mama; 12-01-2011 at 02:23 PM. Reason: Inexplicablf autocorrect
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Old 12-01-2011, 01:11 PM   #249
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I yelled last night, a few times, at DS1. After our nap, I only wanted to be my introverted self and have the kids play nicely by themselves. Of course, that was utopia, so it didn't happen and I was very impatient. I told Zac a few times "You annoy me so much!" Even DH thought he was handful though this morning, he's sassing us a lot and we're not too sure how to deal with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by urbanfamily View Post
Also ladies, how did you find your ability to be patient change with subsequent children? I have two boys but went through toddlerhood only once yet...[
I'm finding that I'm more patient with Milan than I am with Zac, but he also a more easygoing child. I hardly yell/get mad at Milan for things that I know triggered me with Zac.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dovenoir View Post
Wish I knew what to do with this anger. I have violent visions before I get to the yelling point. Scared the little girl I nanny today after she bit DS again, I saw myself knocking her to the floor. Didn't do it. removed screaming baby from room calmed him and then blew my top yelling when she started disemboweling the wipes container.
Violent visions do happen to me too. When they are happening, I tell myself "you are angry, you will never act on it, calm down". I take a deep breath and lock myself in the bathroom if I need to calm down. It's best that I move away at that moment, it helps my thoughts refocus.
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Old 12-01-2011, 09:37 PM   #250
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I've only gotten to the 12th page and am because I'm a yeller. A huge huge yeller. Everything under the sun sets me off. I am very self aware and spent most this evening crying because I didn't think I could take it anymore (my spiraling in my yelling). I was begging Jesus to change my heart. That was as i was making dinner. Then something happened. Not immediately but by the time the kids and I sat down for dinner (dh ran late) I was much calmer and delt with the dinner and bath routine with a much better attitude and by myself even. There were issues when ds1 and dd were suppose to be brushing their teeth and I had to yell up the stairs (so that they could actually hear me from the bottom, not because I was angry) for ds to go to his room while dd finished, then I sent dd to her room so Ds could finish. Normally I would've been angry and yelling and all kinds of ick. I'm hoping this is the beginning of something better. This thread will be an awesome way to keep me accountable. Thank you for starting this.
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Old 12-01-2011, 10:17 PM   #251
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem mama View Post
Not yelling is much easier without toxic friendships in my life. When I stay away from yellers I'm less of a yeller
I so agree with this!!! I yell so much more when I am around my sister.

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Old 12-01-2011, 10:30 PM   #252
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Horrible past 2-3 days. I've yelled at Sammy so much it's crazy. I think his goal in life is to totally and completely destroy every inch of the house and everyone in it. All with a smile on his face.

I wish my mommy lived here..... MIL will have to do though. I'm calling her tomorrow to see if I can drop him off at her house for a couple of hours.
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Old 12-01-2011, 10:37 PM   #253
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I am joining the party a little late. I don't know where I have been all these 245 posts. Well probably yelling at my kids. Just kidding. Kind of. I am a yeller.
Quote:
I think lack of sleep and hormones are what do me in more than anything my children do or don't do...
. My children, and especially one child in particular atm, are pretty good at creating situations to get me yelling. I am a introvert. Loud noises really bother me. I have the loudest child on earth, plus 3 more that can compete with him. A big reason that I yell is just to be heard. I have a very quiet voice and often noone hears me or realizes that I am serious because there is so much other noise in our home. Overall I have gotten a lot better over the last 10 years, but just when I am patting myself on the back, I will have a mommy meltdown day that is worse that all the others.
Quote:
Not yelling is much easier without toxic friendships in my life. When I stay away from yellers I'm less of a yeller
I am actually the opposite. It must be my contrary personality, but I am usually much more calm around other yellers because it helps me realize how ridiculously ineffective it is
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Old 12-02-2011, 06:23 AM   #254
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I yelled last night. We are all under a lot of stress it's been a long hard week and I've been sick for two and a half weeks and I don't get any sleep at night. And I yelled.

Today is a new day.
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Old 12-02-2011, 08:50 AM   #255
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem mama View Post
I yelled last night. We are all under a lot of stress it's been a long hard week and I've been sick for two and a half weeks and I don't get any sleep at night. And I yelled.

Today is a new day.
today *is* a new day. sometimes it's too easy to just assume that today is an extension of yesterday (and to view my girls' behavior in that negative way).

I am really working to make Advent about Jesus this year. Every year I intend to do that, and every year Advent and the preparing my heart gets lost in the shuffle of busyness.

And I am also making Advent about drawing near to God so that the Holy Spirit can produce some much-needed fruit in my life - including patience and gentleness.

Too often I am going this mothering journey alone during the day, trying to do it in my strength alone. you would think I might have realized that that does not work in *any* area of my life

anyway. want to encourage everyone today to accept the gift of this new day.

for me, I plan to pray more and breathe deeper and try to fight against all my natural tendencies
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