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Old 01-09-2012, 11:04 AM   #331
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by celestial princess View Post
More encouragement,from Sally Clarkson, on The Gentleness Challenge
That challenge is awesome, and perfect for all of us.
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Old 01-09-2012, 02:06 PM   #332
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I feel so defeated today. DS got in trouble in school (not too bad, but didn't listen which is unusual) and then celebrated screamfest at home followed by climbing (not allowed) and falling with screaming to wake up DD. I didn't even yell, I feel even worse than that, I feel defeated and that DS is out of control right now. I'm very upset with him and don't know what to do. A tantrum is ok, but I guess I am soooo sick of whining, screaming and constant defiance despite me not even yelling for weeks - it seems to be worse every day! Any suggestions?
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Old 01-09-2012, 02:17 PM   #333
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

He is 3?
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Old 01-09-2012, 03:55 PM   #334
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Akina - I'm guessing your sig means he was born August 08? So was my DD2 She keeps climbing on me today. It's making my skin crawl. If she was a dog, I really would throw her away from me. I'm happy for her to sit on my lap for a hug but she climbs. on my back. on my legs. hanging of my skirt. upside down with her feet or knees bashing my face. draping all over me. I'm a person not a jungle gym. My brain is screaming "GET OFF ME CHILD!!!" grrrrr

Oh & I forgot to add...whine, whine whine whine. I seriously am not saying no to the things she is asking for but still whine, whine, whine!
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Old 01-09-2012, 04:47 PM   #335
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

This afternoon has been so hard My four year old is acting like her sister half her age. Worse. Every little thing today results in screaming/crying in this loud, obnoxious way. Everything I ask her to do, the answer is no. I'm just exhausted. I'm trying so hard to be gentle, but it just feels permissive. I don't think I have a clue what I'm doing.
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Old 01-09-2012, 04:57 PM   #336
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I'm really struggling with this today as my eighteen month old is NOT sleeping, NOT eating, NOT wanting to be anywhere but with mummy and going a bit 'crazy' with activity - and I just can not deal with it anymore.

I'm so tired (he's still waking for feeds and then refuses to be anywhere but smooshed against me or his father); nothing is being done around the house; I'm not getting a break; and then I have to go to work and try and be functional.

I just want to scream at him to go to ***** sleep (sorry; but that's what's going around in my head); which of course is SOOOO logical; when you're dealing with a toddler.


I just need to breathe; and it's just not happening.
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Old 01-09-2012, 05:23 PM   #337
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmom1984 View Post
but it just feels permissive.
If you are just venting...ignore.. .but if you want my 2 cents worth... one thing that helps me when I'm feeling I'm too permissive is to step back & work out what is really happening & why. If I am being too permissive, I can then deal with that but if (& this is usually the case when we are having a one off arvo like yours sounds) the child is tired, sick, out of sorts then I toss my plans out the window & do something like snuggle up in bed with them & read books...give them a nap...let them play in the bath etc The book Raising Your Spirited Child has some great ideas for figuring out what each child needs as their own 'down time'. Catering or working around a tired child, even if it means deciding to change your plans, isn't permissive (in my opinion), it's just good sense.

---------- Post added at 10:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:20 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amahoro View Post
I'm really struggling with this today as my eighteen month old is NOT sleeping, NOT eating, NOT wanting to be anywhere but with mummy and going a bit 'crazy' with activity - and I just can not deal with it anymore.
Can you stick him in the sling on your back & go & do something with the mindset of doing something special for you? Go for a walk, walk around reading a book or dance in front of the TV while trying to forget he is there??
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:04 PM   #338
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Thanks... I needed to vent - it was a bad day for him - he basically listened 0% and I don't ask crazy things of him (the climbing always gets him in trouble because he falls on his head, gets hurt - I tell him don't climb because you will get hurt)... I do think it's reasonable to expect some cooperation of a 3 year old. And he mostly does, but today was NO day, and even if he says he wants to go pee he says it whiney and complaining (hard to describe) and I don't understand why? He can just go to the bathroom at his discretion he doesn't need to yell at me for that? It's hard on top of the sleep deprivation (DD does not sleep more than 60-80 minutes at a time). And yeah he's 3 (2008 kiddo!)...

I really feel for all of you and what you wrote - I know how you feel! Exhausted, with an infant/younger one, and a spirited toddler, it's not easy. I did leave the house after my post even though it's really cold, just to walk around Petco and Target and it helped to involve DS in a different scenery.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:21 PM   #339
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

my 3 dd are getting a bit older so I don't have the continuous feeling like I've signed up to be a jungle gym suddenly. or the constant biting of my tongue so I don't do permanent damage to my children with my words because the thoughts in my head are about to explode my brains they're so full of rage ...
but
it hasn't been that far enough back. I can almost cry with empathy for you moms that have courageously shared on this thread. I clap my handsat how you've stepped up to the mama plate by venting here so you can hug your child despite how trying of a time your parenting season may be.
A friend said to me once when I was smack in the middle of having three in diapers and me feeling like I was crazy and crying all the time.
He said, just remember this too shall pass.
and it did Keep up the great work

---------- Post added at 09:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:16 PM ----------

justa quick added note,
I am not trying to say that I don't have my "days", as I am sure I will have my times to share here about them.
My intention was encouragement .
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:35 PM   #340
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by shekziwi View Post
My intention was encouragement .
I took it as that...thank you!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 03:22 AM   #341
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Akina - How much big muscle activity is he getting? 3 yr old boys have more energy than you can imagine. Since his climbing sounds like a 'need' what CAN he climb? Can you bring a toy structure into the house if it's too cold outside so he can climb and play? Can you relax climbing on the sofa rules you may have?


The quote of the day is
"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

When we yell, our kids hear one thing, “Calm Me Down!!!”. We convey to them that we cannot handle their behavior and they’d better change so that we can get a grip on things. The rest of our message, no matter how valuable it may be, is lost in translation.

That's from the screamfree tip of the day. Good stuff I noticed how I was so much calmer on vacation when I didn't have a to do list a mile long. and was getting a touch more sleep. Remember YOUR self care. It helps all of you.
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Old 01-11-2012, 08:58 AM   #342
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I've noticed a huge difference in behavior and sleep (positive difference) since we got our mini trampoline and the ball pit sil got dd2.
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Old 01-11-2012, 09:41 AM   #343
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

The no climbing the couch rule is for his own safety - there is a couch table with a glass top that would hurt him terribly if he fell on it. He's free to run through the house and climb on his bed and even jump, it's safe there. It's terribly cold so we cannot go outside and our small town has no indoor toddler gym (they have that back in San Francisco, Ume, totally awesome place). Unfortunately no room for a play structure, but we have a tent, tunnel and 2 sets of stairs....
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Old 01-11-2012, 10:19 AM   #344
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Akina View Post
It's terribly cold so we cannot go outside and our small town has no indoor toddler gym
Is there a McDonalds with a Playplace in your town or maybe the next town over? I've been known to just order a yogurt parfait off the $1 menu and then let the kids play for an hour while I use the free wifi.
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:06 PM   #345
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Akina View Post
there is a couch table with a glass top
Would you consider getting rid of it? Best thing we ever did was get rid ou our coffee table. As he gets older he will not have less energy to get out and you'll still have the climate to deal with.
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