House cleanliness standard for hospitality

[DahliaRW]

Originally Posted by RealLifeMama

This made me laugh and think of a story. I have told this story here before, but a lot of you are new, so I will retell. First, I struggled so much to keep things clean when my oldest three were 5, 3, and a baby. DH is part of a fellowship that used to have a Christmas party yearly. No one wanted to the party host one year (the year my children were 5, 3, and a baby), so we volunteered. We were up until the wee hours of the night cleaning and decorating our home for Christmas to make it festive, and I was baking. My standard for hospitality was decluttered, and cleaning things that affected people. Like, basic kitchen cleaning (counters, floors, sink, etc.) Bathrooms, lightswitches, doorknobs, stairrails, vacuuminging, etc.) I thought it was all good and very comfortable and festive. I did not detail my house for appearances. I did wipe the range and oven door, but I did not clean the drip pans. One of the women went into the kitchen and saw my stove. She said to me "You must cook a lot! Your stove pans are so dirty!"

Sometime very soon after, a neighbor dropped by unannounced, happened to see all the cobwebs on our needs-a-extension-ladder-to-clean-it-two-story-foyer-window and said "Wow, you have a lot of cobwebs!"

So, I know people notice, I just would not think they'd say anything!!!

Wow, that is just rude! I'd be tempted to tell them where the cleaning supplies are and tell them if it bothers them so much they can take care of it.

[Little Forest]

Originally Posted by Virginia

When someone is coming to visit, even family, I want the house spotless

But...I think I'm a little different than you guys If I go over to someone's house, I totally notice if it's dirty. I don't necessarily judge them or anything, but I definitely see the cobwebs in the corner, the dust on top of the ceiling fan blades, etc. I don't mean to It just happens

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---------- Post added at 09:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:31 PM ----------

Originally Posted by peekaboomama

Yeah... one dead bug I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that it was a recent fatality (like in the past day, hadn't seen it yet) but multiple dead bugs would ick me out.

Except we are in the hills and lots of creepy crawly things make their way in but yeah, I try to stay on top of them.
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[Michele123]

Originally Posted by peekaboomama

Yeah... one dead bug I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that it was a recent fatality (like in the past day, hadn't seen it yet) but multiple dead bugs would ick me out.

I hate that too. Problem is, out house is AWFUL in the spring/fall. I'm not sure if it is the windows or walls or what. But our upstairs, rarely used, rooms seemed to be filled with dead (& live!) bugs in the spring and fall no matter how often I go up there to clean. I hate bugs. It gives me the heebie jeebies every time I go up and see them. *shiver*


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[charla]

Okay, I'm going to have people over from church for a belated Easter dinner this Sunday, so I'm going to try out being way less perfectionistic about house cleaning. This is what I'm planning to do:

• tidy main living areas
• wipe kitchen counters, stove top, tables and microwave, mop floor
• wipe down the main bathroom
• dust the dining room
• vacuum where needed

I'm not planning on doing anything in the bedrooms or dusting or vacuuming in most of the house. This is waaaaaay less than I usually do. Do you think I can get away with it? If my house was already fairly tidied and erring on the clean side instead of the filth side to begin with, would you feel comfortable?

[peekaboomama]

Sounds perfect to me Definitely don't waste time in the bedrooms unless you'll have guests staying overnight.

[charla]

Thank you, Jenny, that gives me the confidence that I need to let my perfection down several notches.

[SamRose]

How'd it go?

[charla]

It went really well. I'm truly shocked. I didn't feel nervous about my house at all. I vacuumed nothing, nothing at all , and wiped up the bathroom late last night after my bath before bed with bleary eyes. I had cleaned the kitchen up and ds mopped the floor after I prepped the food. There wasn't anything that I looked at around the house and wishes I'd worked on. Progress!!!

[sweetpeas]

[ECingMama]

(that's my fav one...hope it fits! )

way to go!!

[Ellen]

Originally Posted by MrsHutch

I have kind of a backwards problem. DH is like you about wanting the entire place to be spotless, whereas I have the, "they are coming to see us, not our house" attitude. I want the place to be reasonably picked up, but I'm not going for magazine-ready in the way DH is. It makes having company over ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE for both of us, and it means we rarely invite people over.

This is kind of what it's like for us too.

There are certain mom friends I have no problem inviting to my house, because I've seen what their houses look like .

But in general, we are not very good about inviting people over, because
1) even if our house is clean, it's not particularly stylish or impressive, and
2) I'm not really that gifted at hospitality, so preparing a meal for friends doesn't come easily.

It doesn't help that dh tends to stress out about the whole thing and we don't work together well under stress .

I'd like to change that! I enjoy visiting other peoples' homes and it would be good for our family to extend more hospitality. It's an area for us to grow in for sure.

But yeah, in visiting another person's home, I'm mostly relieved if I find theirs isn't perfect either.

[sweetpeas]

Originally Posted by Ellen

But in general, we are not very good about inviting people over, because
1) even if our house is clean, it's not particularly stylish or impressive, and
2) I'm not really that gifted at hospitality, so preparing a meal for friends doesn't come easily.

It doesn't help that dh tends to stress out about the whole thing and we don't work together well under stress .

Awhile back, something I read (I don't even remember if it was a book, blog, or what) really made me stop and think. Essentially it pointed out that hospitality is different from entertaining. When we "entertain company" we want to make sure we are leaving a good impression of ourselves (how well we decorate, how much money we have, how good a cook we are, etc). But hospitality, as we are called to in the Bible, isn't entertaining. It's ministering to needs. When our focus is on fellowship and humbly serving others with our hospitality, we're not focused on our house not being decorated perfectly, or whether our meal is gourmet, whether the reason for the lack is our talents or our budget, or both. That was pretty convicting to me, though right now my life is such that I don't have much opportunity to extend hospitality, it made me see that, while it's not an excuse to have a messy, or dirty house, I shouldn't let the fact that our house is small, our furniture is old and mis-matched, or that our meals are generally simple, keep me from extending hospitality.

Please don't take any of the above as criticism, I'm just sharing something that helped me view things differently . . . I'd never thought about how hospitality differs from entertaining.

[charla]

That's a really good point, LaRee. It makes a lot of sense.

[Ellen]

I certainly experience hospitality as different from entertaining-- when I am on the receiving end. I am still not very gifted at hospitality and would like to work on it. But you make a good point!

[peekaboomama]

Originally Posted by sweetpeas

Awhile back, something I read (I don't even remember if it was a book, blog, or what) really made me stop and think. Essentially it pointed out that hospitality is different from entertaining. When we "entertain company" we want to make sure we are leaving a good impression of ourselves (how well we decorate, how much money we have, how good a cook we are, etc). But hospitality, as we are called to in the Bible, isn't entertaining. It's ministering to needs. When our focus is on fellowship and humbly serving others with our hospitality, we're not focused on our house not being decorated perfectly, or whether our meal is gourmet, whether the reason for the lack is our talents or our budget, or both. That was pretty convicting to me, though right now my life is such that I don't have much opportunity to extend hospitality, it made me see that, while it's not an excuse to have a messy, or dirty house, I shouldn't let the fact that our house is small, our furniture is old and mis-matched, or that our meals are generally simple, keep me from extending hospitality.

Please don't take any of the above as criticism, I'm just sharing something that helped me view things differently . . . I'd never thought about how hospitality differs from entertaining.

I have a friend who lives and breathes hospitality teach me this a few years ago. It really changed my life. We fixed a few big issues with the house - furniture that wasn't just mismatched but broken, and a half-finished paint job - and started just inviting. I love how we're getting to know people now even in our tiny barely decorated home that is clearly lived in. In my experience, people are much more real in a home, compared to a restaurant.