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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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08-25-2020, 07:46 PM | #1 |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,052
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People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
I've not heard about it in years. But a mom in one of my Christian fb mom groups just mentioned she uses it and my jaw hit the floor.
Thank you for the Resources here. She mentioned it as a good resource to a mom of 4 struggling with a difficult sleeper. I was able to quickly link to resources so she would know the dangers of that book. I'm now looking for alternative resources for helping baby sleep. Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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08-25-2020, 08:04 PM | #2 |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,848
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
Wow! I didn't think anyone was still using it either.
Sent from my SM-A102U using Tapatalk
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
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08-25-2020, 08:12 PM | #3 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,504
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
Elizabeth Pantley as an alternative resource.
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Wife to my wonderful Beloved (2002) / Mom to The Mathematician - making progress living with ASD, ADHD/SPD/anxiety and depression (2004) and precious Taylor taken from us too soon (2009). Go Team Lioness!!! |
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08-25-2020, 08:14 PM | #4 |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,052
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
The mom needing help just admitted she used it with her others and said she was trying other things with this babe because he was not calming down and working himself into a mess.
I've honestly never had a difficult sleeper and have always bed shared. IDK what are good resources. Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk ---------- Post added at 11:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:13 PM ---------- Thank you! Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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08-25-2020, 09:49 PM | #5 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
I've never had an easy sleeper and it's very important for her to know that it's NORMAL and OKAY. It's not easy, of course, but it doesn't mean she's doing something wrong. It is biologically normal for babies to wake to feed during the night.
A baby showing signs of discomfort or pain is another thing but sleep training isn't the answer for that, obviously. |
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08-26-2020, 05:00 AM | #6 |
Seedling Rose
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 30
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
This mom that you mention really needs help. It's one of the most dangerous sources that can find in my opinion. I think you should talk to her and explain it. Hope everything is going to be okay.
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08-26-2020, 05:23 AM | #7 | |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,052
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
Quote:
I'm really saddened and disheartened that more of these women I've come to care for are stepping up admitting to using BW or a modified versions of CIO. Praying for Grace and a loving tone to open hearts and minds. Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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08-26-2020, 12:50 PM | #8 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 10,090
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
I had the world champion for worst sleeper. There is a reason I have five years between my children and even at ten and five, they wake up at night. I get the why behind it, she's desperate for sleep. I completely understand why she would even consider it.
That being said, I never did it. For Ivy, I took the side off of a crib and put it against my bed and I think we tied the legs to the bed, but it's been so long I can't remember. For Jacob, I put a bedrail on a very firm twin mattress and put it against my bed. Both of them would need to nurse frequently, but slept much better because they didn't have time to fully wake up and fell back asleep while nursing. I usually fell asleep pretty quickly afterwards and was much less tired. Assuming her baby isn't dealing with colic, allergies, reflux or other medical issues, then her baby might just need to be reassured that everyone is still there and he or she is still safe. That's normal and baby will outgrow it. I guess my point is to give you something a friend tried and liked. CIO isn't the answer, but it's a very socially acceptable thing to do, so here we are. Add in a the moral issues that BW and others assign sleeping through the night, then it's very hard not to do it.
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08-26-2020, 01:14 PM | #9 | |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,052
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
Quote:
Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
__________________
"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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08-26-2020, 01:28 PM | #10 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,359
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
I see babywise recommended a lot. Also I feel like bedsharing is under huge attack lately. When we started people thought it was weird. Now I hear more stuff like that it isn’t safe and if you really love your baby you won’t do it. We still do it.
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08-26-2020, 01:34 PM | #11 | |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,052
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
Quote:
It was a forbidden topic in one of my due date groups because it always caused an outright war. Another one was better moderated so it was permitted with restrictions or the thread closed. Those who are against bed sharing are militant about it, which is why I'm always hesitant to say anything online, some insane people go real life, and most who think bedsharing is dangerous aren't calm about it. Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
__________________
"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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08-26-2020, 03:15 PM | #12 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
A bassinet next to the bed, a crib next to the bed, or a co-sleeper are all safe options for those who don't want to bed share.
I had a Snuggle Nest with my first and it kept me from going insane. I was so afraid of rolling on her, as she was my first. She would not stay asleep unless I was touching her. I went the first 3 days of her life without sleep. I sent my DH to the store and told him not to come back until he found one. (Mine looked different than this one but it's the general idea.) When she got too big for it we bought an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. It can be used as a regular pack 'n play, too. I also used that with my second baby and our first was still in our bed when he was born. This one looks good, too. https://www.amazon.com/RONBEI-Bassin...xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ== |
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08-26-2020, 05:23 PM | #13 | |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,052
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
Quote:
Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
__________________
"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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08-26-2020, 06:59 PM | #14 | ||
Rose Garden
Butterfly on my face :)
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 6,955
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
Quote:
Quote:
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08-27-2020, 10:12 AM | #15 |
Rose Bouquet
Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Frantz
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western NY
Posts: 666
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Re: People still use Babywise?! AKA: thank you for the resources!
I just want to second the books by Elizabeth Pantley. I am actually rereading "the no cry sleep solution" right now and am so encouraged by her gentle tone and the obvious sympathy she has. My library has this an ebook loan so that might be an option for that mom.
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Jessica Momma to DS1-the Monkinroanie DS2-the Sweet Punkin DS3- the Peanut and the rainbow babies DS4 and DD
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