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10-12-2008, 07:22 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
I tell Gracie flat-out, "When you talk like this [demonstrate whiney voice] it's called whining. It really, really annoys me. Please ask me like this [demonstrate non-whiny voice]"
So far it's working. She's 4.5. |
The Following User Says Thank You to Soliloquy For This Useful Post: | Annalou (01-20-2013) |
10-12-2008, 08:37 PM | #3 |
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
The best way here is:
limit TV limit computer time limit junk food "Asked and answered" "Conversation over" "You're whining. Try again." |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Joanne For This Useful Post: | hellomama (08-06-2013), SuperDudesMama (01-08-2010) |
10-13-2008, 12:12 AM | #4 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 7,336
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
youre whining. I dont want to hear it. try again. I cant understand your words when you whine. stop whining. tell me in real words what you want.
it works most of the time.
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Mum to MayFlowers: DD1 4/2004 DD2 13/2006 DS 24/2009 and my Hawaiian Surprise DS 9/1/11 |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Can Dance For This Useful Post: | Annalou (01-20-2013), SewingGreenMama (08-04-2012) |
10-13-2008, 04:18 AM | #5 |
Rose Garden
Back for Friendships
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Northeastern US
Posts: 20,863
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
"I dont' like to listen to you when you whine. Start over in a non-whiny voice"
That gets used a lot around here. DD just turned 5 and is a champion whiner.
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~ Becca ~ Wife to C., WFHM, Life long learner Living in "organized chaos" with 2 handfuls of kiddos. DS1(21), DS2(20), BD1(20), DD1(19), BS1(17), DS3(16), BS2(14), DD2(14), BD2(10), BD3 (8) (B = Bonus/Step) |
The Following User Says Thank You to Close2MyHeart For This Useful Post: | Annalou (01-20-2013) |
10-15-2008, 01:18 PM | #6 |
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Central WA
Posts: 17,196
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
I've taught the difference between a "high" or "whining" voice and a "low" or "pleasant" tone of voice. I tell them to try again in a pleasant tone of voice. We've practiced them at neutral times (they think the "high/whining" voice is hilarious when we practice ) so I can pull in that skill during a situation.
I also do "asked and answered" and, if really frustrated, I walk away. Mostly scripting them to try again in a low tone of voice works. At first I had to say exactly what I wanted to hear, then just "try again with a low tone of voice," now I just say, "Try again." |
The Following User Says Thank You to canadiyank For This Useful Post: | Hopetobe (08-16-2013) |
10-15-2008, 05:25 PM | #7 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 25,657
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
Hey, these are all really great, though I can see we're doing things fine because we do these things so apparently its just perseverence
Maybe we should sticky this topic, its pretty common!
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Mommy to: Ds (9.5), Dd (7), Ds2 (6), and Ds3 (4.5). |
The Following User Says Thank You to illinoismommy For This Useful Post: | Annalou (01-20-2013) |
10-16-2008, 12:26 PM | #8 |
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Location: Central WA
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
Good idea!
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10-16-2008, 05:32 PM | #9 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
Oh yeah, it definitely takes perseverance. When people are really tired, hungry, etc. (young or old) whining kind of comes naturally but it can be trained out.
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The Following User Says Thank You to Soliloquy For This Useful Post: | mokamoto (09-16-2009) |
10-16-2008, 09:04 PM | #10 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,348
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
Sometimes it works here to do some sort of playful parenting. "Oh, no, there's something wrong with my ears! Are you saying something?"
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Carly Wife to my first love since 12/2002 Mama of A (dd 7) G (ds 5.5) E (dd 4)
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The Following User Says Thank You to Blueberrybabies For This Useful Post: | mokamoto (09-16-2009) |
10-16-2008, 09:07 PM | #11 |
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
It's not ok to whine.
That's what I usually say and I ask her to tell me in a normal voice. But I like the idea of practicing in neutral times and calling it a pleasant voice. What's ask and answer? |
10-17-2008, 05:56 AM | #12 |
Rose Garden
I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 28,913
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
Usually I just say "Mama doesn't respond to whining, try again" but sometimes I say "Mama doesn't speak whinese, try again in a calm voice" if I can tell they need a playful parent to turn the situation around.
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~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ” |
The Following User Says Thank You to tempus vernum For This Useful Post: | Annalou (01-20-2013) |
10-20-2008, 10:34 AM | #13 | |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
Quote:
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The Following User Says Thank You to Soliloquy For This Useful Post: | Annalou (01-20-2013) |
10-20-2008, 10:44 AM | #14 |
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Central WA
Posts: 17,196
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
I also use, "What do you think?" when they get in that cycle, and a lot of times it interrupts that cycle for my dd while she thinks of her answer. Very helpful!
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10-21-2008, 07:30 PM | #15 | |
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Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?
Quote:
i do that too - but 5yo tells me i said no, and then proceeds to throw himself of the floor, flop around and say, BUT WHYYYYYYYY??????????? (waaaaaa...) |
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