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Old 05-28-2012, 01:05 PM   #1
marigold
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Default sacrifice

I was finally able to get a copy of "Raising the Wholehearted Child" by the Clarkson's. The first section talks about counting the cost; how yes there are benefits/joys of homeschooling but there are also sacrifices that will need to be made and we need to decide beforehand to be content with them and embrace them or we will become bitter or discouraged. So I'm curious what are some things you feel that you have sacrificed to be home with your kiddoes? Ex.- a second income, a hobby, time with friends...
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Old 05-28-2012, 01:12 PM   #2
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Default Re: sacrifice

Right now I would say a second income because DH has made WAY less the last two years and I feel completely helpless to pick up any of the slack. But I still wouldn't trade it.

Of course I've given up other things like time with friends, but I've found new hsing friends in the process that have turned into rich friendships.
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Old 05-28-2012, 01:18 PM   #3
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Default Re: sacrifice

Second income, many material things, healthcare for me, some friendships
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Old 05-28-2012, 02:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: sacrifice

I guess I'm in a funny place, I already gave up my income almost 5 yrs ago, to be a SAHM. We moved a year and a half ago and I don't feel like I've got any real good friends, just good acquaintances, IYKWIM. With 3 little ones I feel like I don't have time for any of my hobbies, what more can I have to give up to homeschool as opposed to being a SAHM?

---------- Post added at 03:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:01 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurlor View Post
Right now I would say a second income because DH has made WAY less the last two years and I feel completely helpless to pick up any of the slack. But I still wouldn't trade it.

Of course I've given up other things like time with friends, but I've found new hsing friends in the process that have turned into rich friendships.
Thanks, this is encouraging. I think you are saying that yes there are things you give up but they are counter-balanced by the benefits of homeschooling and new friends and that it is hard to think of one without the other,
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Old 05-28-2012, 02:39 PM   #5
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Default Re: sacrifice



It's idea of being with toddlers 24/7/365 that puts me off (with husband out of house 12hrs a day)...I do feel like I need to retain something else other than all 'what to do with coconut oil' wisdom but I am not that extrovert to be LLL leader or doula or something meaningfully people-facing.(also with hearing disability)

It doesn't have to be either all or nothing the way Clarksons portray. I thought Sally's Mission of Motherhood chapters on working mums was a bit extreme as she was talking doctors and lawyers with intense working schedules but reality is usually more inbetween. There are part-time and flexible working hour mums.

And some homeschoolers with kids in charter schools call themselves homeschoolers.
And in UK there is flexischooling.
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Old 05-28-2012, 04:19 PM   #6
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Default Re: sacrifice

Flexischooling? That sounds interesting! bbl
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Old 05-28-2012, 05:47 PM   #7
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Default Re: sacrifice

Sacrifices --
  • being able to clean and keep things clean because kids are gone hours a day.
  • getting built in breaks to rejuvenate
  • amounts of time it takes to plan/prep a lesson/present
  • worry about "am I doing this well enough?"

I have trouble thinking of things as sacrifices (in a negatives sense), because I can see the positive side

I know there is something that is a bigger deal to me then I listed above, but I can't think of it right now. I love this so far -- even though it's difficult and my students aren't always willing. I couldn't imagine doing it any other way.
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Old 05-28-2012, 05:54 PM   #8
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Default Re: sacrifice

Quote:
Originally Posted by HomeyT View Post
Flexischooling? That sounds interesting! bbl
Is that like what we have here that is 1/2 homeschool, 1/2 classroom.?

---------- Post added at 06:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:49 PM ----------

[I have trouble thinking of things as sacrifices (in a negatives sense), because I can see the positive side

I know there is something that is a bigger deal to me then I listed above, but I can't think of it right now. I love this so far -- even though it's difficult and my students aren't always willing. I couldn't imagine doing it any other way.[/QUOTE]

I'm not thinking that they mean it in a negative sense so much as a sense that you need to realise that homeschool is going to have tough choices and times, not just sunshine and roses and you need to think of this beforehand so that you do not get discouraged and give up.
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Old 05-28-2012, 06:00 PM   #9
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Default Re: sacrifice

The positives for me far outweigh the negatives.

I would say the negatives for me are:
  • I can't keep my house at the level of cleanliness that makes me feel the best.
  • With all of my other responsibilities I feel like I'm sometimes run ragged.
  • The responsibility of teaching my children all they need to know sometimes rests heavily upon my shoulders.
  • I tend to get sick often during the winter and so it's really hard to keep up with school then. There are no substitute teachers.
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Old 05-28-2012, 06:05 PM   #10
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Default Re: sacrifice

It's interesting because most decisions have upsides and downsides. Nothing is sunshine and roses all the time. I'm coming from a different angle. I HAD the big fancy job, the "rat race", the notority, etc.

I gave it all up for my kids. Those kids are worth more than any 'thing' I could buy or any fancy job I could have.

I do appreciate them pointing out that it's not always an easy road though. Some people jump into it thinking it's so easy and while it's not rocket science it does take work.
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Old 05-29-2012, 12:47 PM   #11
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Default Re: sacrifice

Quote:
Originally Posted by HomeyT View Post
Flexischooling? That sounds interesting! bbl
Yes, fancy name for being in public school only part-time - say, 2 days a week and I homeschool three other days and I have to get school to agree with us on legit truancy that is within our rights. Which is a bit tricky since most headteachers never heard of it and say 'no, way!!!!' outright *sigh*
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Old 05-29-2012, 01:09 PM   #12
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Default Re: sacrifice

At first I couldn't think of any sacrifices, per se, because I don't want a WOH job and am so thankful I don't need to find one. Being home with my kids is like the ultimate flex WAH job *ever* . I am my own boss , and have plenty of time for my interests - living life with my dc is awesome 90% of the time (and the 10% less-than-awesome bits would still be an issue even if I WOH).

And since researching and planning homeschooling is a hobby for me , that part is enjoyable. Figuring out the best way to teach my particular dc is just an extension of parenting in general to me - I'd be doing it in any case, and with hs'ing I get more practice at teaching as well as more use out of my teaching skills - win-win .

But I realized there is a significant downside, and that is finding ways for my dc to be social. I am *not* social, and my dh is likewise not social - we'd happily spend the vast majority of our time within our immediate family circle. Which is a good thing - in moderation. Mostly we let socialization happen to us , and that ends up being more than enough for us .

And that is what we have been doing for the dc, and I'm realizing as R gets older that that just isn't enough for *her* to find some good friends . I'm going to need to be proactive in arranging playdates (I hate the very idea of scheduling playtime ) and otherwise getting us out enough that she, and the other dc, have enough chances to meet people, and continue to connect with them, so as to have some friends.

And this is hard for me . But I do think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks (or else I'd not be doing it ).
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Old 05-29-2012, 01:15 PM   #13
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We would save a significant amount of money starting next year if the kids were all in school and we weren't paying for childcare during my 2 weekday office days.
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Old 05-29-2012, 03:33 PM   #14
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Default Re: sacrifice

Last time I looked at this- which was admittedly a couple of years ago-Flexi schooling also meant the school remained responsible for your childs education.So Every Child matters/SAT tests/desired outcomes still apply - and the school is 'judged' by those outcomes.
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Old 05-29-2012, 03:46 PM   #15
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Default Re: sacrifice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grover View Post
Last time I looked at this- which was admittedly a couple of years ago-Flexi schooling also meant the school remained responsible for your childs education.So Every Child matters/SAT tests/desired outcomes still apply - and the school is 'judged' by those outcomes.
True, unfortunately. So it really depends on the individual child in the end - and in the case of my first son, the National Curriculum at primary school age hopefully will be just a subset of what we'll do.

(OP, sorry didn't mean do derail your original topic on sacrifices which hopefully more seasoned homeschoolers unlike me can offer insight on))))
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