Negative Perception of People

[Elyse221]

Originally Posted by rjy9343

If it helps, the punitive crunchies feel as disappointed when they realize that we are GD/GBD as we feel when we realize that they are punitive.

This. And I have to constantly remind myself that *I'm* the weird one. Punitive/permissive is the norm. Treating children like they are in another class of humanity and the golden rule doesn't apply to them is the norm.

Originally Posted by Elyse221

This. And I have to constantly remind myself that *I'm* the weird one. Punitive/permissive is the norm. Treating children like they are in another class of humanity and the golden rule doesn't apply to them is the norm.

This is really the sad reality of life. Even parents I've known who didn't believe in spanking either fell into the TCS camp or they still threatened, bribed, coerced or used other psychological and physical punishments to get their kids to behave a certain way. Honestly, though, I don't know of any other parents in my immediate circle who don't spank.

[tempestjewel]

To the OP, I could have written your post

For me, reading even snippets like that is hard because it triggers really really BIG feelings from my past. I can't handle it. If it is someone IRL, I try to keep away from the topics that I know are sensitive for me.

If it is a website, then I ask myself: Can I get this information elsewhere? If I can, then I will not go back to a site with things that trigger me.

In the future I might be able to filter things out better without rejecting everything, but I know I'm just not there yet. (In regards to websites that trigger- I do not wholly reject IRL people).

[3PeasInAPod]

I do think it's important not to write people off b/c of what they may read or follow in terms of parenting stuff.
There are a few moms I know who follow punitive teachers & spank that I would've written off right away if I would've of known that first. However, while we have some major differences - they're nothing like what I would expect of people who follow those books. Of course, that doesn't mean I spend the majority of my time with them - but I'm glad to have them in my life as friends anyway.

[PaperMomma]

I think it can also be good to remember that everyone is on different places in their journey. I would have argued in favor of spanking two years ago. Now I believe it's wrong. Just because someone believes something now, doesn't mean they wont question it and find truth later.


But at the same time, I totally understand where you're coming from. I won't read a blog that supports the Pearls or Vision Forum. I don't care how good their other information is, those belief systems have had majorly negative effects on my life and I want absolutely nothing to do with them, period. My heart can't handle it. And I dont think there's anything wrong with that. When youve been hurt by something, your heart puts up protective mechanisms, and that's sometimes a good thing. And I totally know that sinking feeling when you discover that someone you didn't expect is into the pearls or whatever. It's like a punch in the gut. :/

[triscuit]

Originally Posted by PaperMomma

I think it can also be good to remember that everyone is on different places in their journey.[snip] Just because someone believes something now, doesn't mean they wont question it and find truth later.

I was just coming to say the same thing.