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01-15-2010, 02:58 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Blissed out in the January sun
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: that perfect place :)
Posts: 11,701
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s/o parenting self-talk
so do you wanna learn to practice doing this? i do
can we talk about it, and maybe use some examples or whatever?
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~I r e n e~
sweet and sassy wife, mama, healer, part-time dragon-slayer the worst PM answerer ever my belongs to the babywearing 'Architect' Dancing with my three Magical Elves Smiles the Stampede Sugar Plump & Double Dimples Kissing each elf 1,000,000 times a day, and when there's time left tracking gnomes, singing folk songs on the porch, befriending dragonflies, and bopping sun-frosted 'fros through the dandelion fields. |
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01-15-2010, 03:12 PM | #2 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,348
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
I do. definitely need examples.
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Carly Wife to my first love since 12/2002 Mama of A (dd 7) G (ds 5.5) E (dd 4)
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01-15-2010, 03:16 PM | #3 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 11,512
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Not sure I understand but yet is sounds like something I could use. so subbing
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Wife to David since July 2005, Mama to Genevieve born June 2006 and to Gabrielle born February 2009 |
01-15-2010, 03:26 PM | #4 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
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01-15-2010, 03:27 PM | #5 |
Rose Garden
Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: catching up on the laundry
Posts: 41,294
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
subbing to come back with my examples.
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allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . . |
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01-15-2010, 03:57 PM | #6 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 8,063
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
i have no idea what this is
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01-15-2010, 04:02 PM | #7 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,895
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Forgive me if this isn't what you are talking about...
but what works for me is to repeat little mantra's or quotes from people I admire. So like, right now it's "The point is the I don't care if I have well-behaved children. It's that well-behaved isn't the goal. The goal is teaching kindness, respect, dignity, and compassion." by MaryMunchkins on here. Or, when they are crying/whining/tantruming, I will repeat to myself "it's not about me" in my head. Both to remind myself that they aren't doing it to make me crazy, drive me insane, or because of something I did/didn't do. And also to remember to be present in the moment with them, and not worry about what others may be thinking. HTH
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INFJ/INTJ DYT 4 Wife to Alan, Mama to Abby 3/05, Ella 2/08, and Julianna 10/10 “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” Leo Buscaglia |
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01-15-2010, 04:05 PM | #8 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: May 2006
Location: VA for now but one day Romania
Posts: 4,997
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
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Trish - wife to never boring dh mommy to my ever energetic ds - 11/04 mommy to my VBAC baby dd - 02/08 mommy to my HBAC blessing dd- 01/10! |
01-15-2010, 04:09 PM | #9 |
Rose Bouquet
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 529
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
subbing here... although not sure what it is.
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01-15-2010, 04:13 PM | #10 |
Rose Garden
Blissed out in the January sun
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: that perfect place :)
Posts: 11,701
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
so,it's a spin off this thread http://gentlechristianmothers.com/co...d.php?t=341448
basically, you are re-parenting yourself. when you are going through something, and realize you yourself are about to "misbehave", like throw a fit, lash out, express yourself inappropriately somehow, you talk to yourself the way a parent ought to talk to a child in this situation, perhaps, the way your own parents never did. my example: i don't feel well. my mother used to get angry at me for not feeling well, and would act as if i am ruining her life/am in the way/am a bad child. So, now when I don't feel well, i am real pill! i whine, and i get angry, and I apologize, and i feel guilty, etc. My self-talk: it's really awful that i don't feel well. i hope i feel well soon, and this is all behind me.[validating my own feelings, showing compassion to myself] i am a valuable, good person, i just happen to have a health problem at this time [gently confronting my negative beliefs] I am going to take good care of myself, and continue to be a loving gentle mother and wife without over-exerting myself. [being realistic, re-visiting what's important now] now i just have to actually repeat it to myself. oh, lookie, it's euromom's due date today
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~I r e n e~
sweet and sassy wife, mama, healer, part-time dragon-slayer the worst PM answerer ever my belongs to the babywearing 'Architect' Dancing with my three Magical Elves Smiles the Stampede Sugar Plump & Double Dimples Kissing each elf 1,000,000 times a day, and when there's time left tracking gnomes, singing folk songs on the porch, befriending dragonflies, and bopping sun-frosted 'fros through the dandelion fields. |
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01-15-2010, 04:14 PM | #11 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Into the sky, all the way out.
Posts: 7,377
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
I'm in
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Hi! I'm Robin married 13 years to my best friend mama to two ~ 9 & 6 years old "Don't they teach recreational maths anymore?"
~The Doctor |
01-15-2010, 04:16 PM | #12 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,782
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
subbing to follow along
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~ judith blessed with a creative, encouraging man of God for my husband since October 2001 blessed with a delightful, creative little girl since February 2008 blessed with a sweet {but sometimes fierce} empathetic little girl since April 2010 word on the street is I am an ENFP For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. |
01-15-2010, 04:29 PM | #13 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 25,840
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Thank you for spinning this! I didn't want to totally derail the other thread and would love to hear more ideas!
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MOMMY TO A - 14 A - 11 N - 8 |
01-15-2010, 04:31 PM | #14 |
Deactivated
dd running through the sprinkler last summer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,345
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
I'm in. I tend to berate myself when I'm upset (maybe that's what my parents did... I know I saw my dad get mad at dd for losing her temper last time we were there. ) I think GBDing myself would work a lot better, and then whatever I play in my head is a lot more likely to come out of my mouth when I'm parenting dd.
I used to get upset at her for accidents- spilling things- because I do that to myself. I've learned to be a lot gentler with us both. No point in blaming an accident on her. It's just an accident. |
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01-15-2010, 04:38 PM | #15 |
Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oklahoma
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
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CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David Save Save Save Save Save
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