Yelling Support Thread - Page 16

jmom1984 · 11-22-2011, 09:08 PM

Silly as it may be, I got the idea from a friend to just break out singing the fruits of the Spirit when I feel the anger rising and the yelling wanting to come out... "Love, joy, peace, and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-contro-o-ol..." It actually really helps. It reminds me to be all those things instead of angry and yelling, and it distracts the kids just long enough to halt whatever they were doing that was so getting to me. Then I find I have gained control of myself and can see the conflict for what is, a teachable moment, and take advantage of that opportunity. Simple, but effective many times!

Tandem mama · 11-23-2011, 06:48 AM

I yelled pretty badly last night

Lydia was throwing another HUGE fit. I have been sick and she's entertained herself for the most part. She was fighting bedtime and I yelled. She's had three massive fits this week.

I stopped halfway through and said I was sorry and helped her calm down then we prayed together.

filmgirl2911 · 11-23-2011, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmom1984

Silly as it may be, I got the idea from a friend to just break out singing the fruits of the Spirit when I feel the anger rising and the yelling wanting to come out... "Love, joy, peace, and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-contro-o-ol..." It actually really helps. It reminds me to be all those things instead of angry and yelling, and it distracts the kids just long enough to halt whatever they were doing that was so getting to me. Then I find I have gained control of myself and can see the conflict for what is, a teachable moment, and take advantage of that opportunity. Simple, but effective many times!

thank you for this wonderful reminder

that is an excellent way for me to reset my mind and to remember to pray instead of yelling / giving in to my anger

filmgirl2911 · 11-23-2011, 10:55 AM

a little more ScreamFree food for thought, especially in preparation for tomorrow's holiday (here in the US, anyway

)

Learn the Power of Pause.
No matter how well you plan ahead, assume a positive attitude and acquire a sensible perspective. Anything can go awry. Learning to take a few deep breaths in the midst of a debacle opens a world of opportunities for you to grow and, in the process, teach others—especially children—invaluable lessons. Instead of becoming reactive and hastily assuming the worst when problems arise, simply pause. Creating a pause unlocks your creativity. You may even become regarded as your family’s steady resource and a breath of fresh air.

Excerpted from “A ScreamFree Guide to Holiday Meals” by Hal Runkel.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my sweet GCM mama friends

Mom2tkh · 11-23-2011, 09:33 PM

Subbing because i too am a yeller! I need this support. I have to go to sleep now so i "might" not yell as much tomorrow. It is thanksgiving so i am going to be on my best behavior

filmgirl2911 · 11-29-2011, 07:24 AM

having a rough day . . .

canadiyank · 11-29-2011, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by filmgirl2911

having a rough day . . .

Are you able to step away for a bit? I had a really rough week last week, I very much understand.

filmgirl2911 · 11-29-2011, 01:00 PM

thank you

it's a bit better, but it's been a rough up and down ride today

sometimes it seems like the times a pray, the harder it is to maintain a scream-free, gentle attitude. that whole thing about asking God to give you patience and he gives you opportunities to develop it

Daria_Aleksandrovna · 11-29-2011, 01:44 PM

Late to this thread....hope I can be here...

Thanks to this forum I didn't yell in a while but on Monday I was so so so ready to scream and felt like not yelling would make me explode seriously or something. Taking deep breath and wait for a minute didn't help at all and even many seconds later I still wanted to scream and rough-handle him.Wait few more seconds. Still angry. But somehow eventually it passed into oblivion and then life was full of compassion for poor young mind again...Phew...but very hard work to restrain!! Definitely a habit training...so worth it.

gpsings · 11-29-2011, 02:41 PM

I have a fractured leg in a boot, and it's hard to get around. Horrible AF 1st day symptoms and the house was AWEFUL and people were coming over.
Guess what I did...
yep.

yelled at the kids.
Doesn't even seem to phase them, but that's even sadder.

ThreeKids · 11-29-2011, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gpsings

Doesn't even seem to phase them, but that's even sadder.

It makes us more upset that they still aren't taking our feelings into consideration, but I don't think it's sadder. It's when kids know yelling leads to them being hurt that's sad. Of course they'll take our feelings into consideration faster then (placating), but it's not out of more caring FOR us.

And that applies to the no spanking in anger crowd, too. I know how it goes down because I'm from that. It just means they'll put on a calm face before spanking. It doesn't mean yelling and getting spanked aren't associated.

mellymommy · 11-29-2011, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by urbanfamily

Late to this thread....hope I can be here...

Thanks to this forum I didn't yell in a while but on Monday I was so so so ready to scream and felt like not yelling would make me explode seriously or something. Taking deep breath and wait for a minute didn't help at all and even many seconds later I still wanted to scream and rough-handle him.Wait few more seconds. Still angry. But somehow eventually it passed into oblivion and then life was full of compassion for poor young mind again...Phew...but very hard work to restrain!! Definitely a habit training...so worth it.

Yup, this is how it is done! GREAT job!!!!

Many times when I feel that must-yell-or-I-will-explode feeling I tell myself that *just* for now I will not yell. I don't think about how I will NEVER yell again (that intensifies the explode feelings) but chose NOT to yell this time. When you think about it as a per-incident issue, it is much easier to chose not to yell.

Akina · 11-30-2011, 09:06 AM

Rough morning... Massive fit... Sick baby = no sleep at night = harder time not to yell when DS is all about "no". I feel so bad and sorry, I'm the adult, I shouldn't yell. I dug out a bracelet we made at mops with different stones, each representing one, and it helps me to look at it to remind me to be patient and loving. I think DS knows how to push my buttons, but I shouldn't react. It's so tough sometimes.

charla · 11-30-2011, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akina

Rough morning... Massive fit... Sick baby = no sleep at night = harder time not to yell when DS is all about "no". I feel so bad and sorry, I'm the adult, I shouldn't yell. I dug out a bracelet we made at mops with different stones, each representing one, and it helps me to look at it to remind me to be patient and loving. I think DS knows how to push my buttons, but I shouldn't react. It's so tough sometimes.

dancingWNC · 11-30-2011, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iansmama

How do you reset when the kids wake up in a funk? It is a trigger for me when they are just plain argumentative and oppositional. I think we are going to try and get out of the house for a bit but they even complained about that :/

on getting out of the house.
If you can't - a bath usually works wonders.
And with our without water in the tub: shaving cream and a squirt of washable paint; spaghetti with red sauce; jello; pudding; oatmeal; etc.

11-22-2011, 09:08 PM	#226
jmom1984 Rose Bush Five Generations of Ladies <3 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Indiana Posts: 335	Re: Yelling Support Thread Silly as it may be, I got the idea from a friend to just break out singing the fruits of the Spirit when I feel the anger rising and the yelling wanting to come out... "Love, joy, peace, and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-contro-o-ol..." It actually really helps. It reminds me to be all those things instead of angry and yelling, and it distracts the kids just long enough to halt whatever they were doing that was so getting to me. Then I find I have gained control of myself and can see the conflict for what is, a teachable moment, and take advantage of that opportunity. Simple, but effective many times! __________________ Jessica (ISFJ) Married to John 6/18/05 Mama to Julia Faith 9/30/07 Jenna Hope 12/16/09 James Anthony & John Michael 4/4/13

11-23-2011, 06:48 AM	#227
Tandem mama Rose Garden In my world everyone's a pony Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies Posts: 11,743	Re: Yelling Support Thread I yelled pretty badly last night Lydia was throwing another HUGE fit. I have been sick and she's entertained herself for the most part. She was fighting bedtime and I yelled. She's had three massive fits this week. I stopped halfway through and said I was sorry and helped her calm down then we prayed together. __________________ I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1) Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014

11-23-2011, 10:55 AM	#229
filmgirl2911 Rose Garden Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 4,782	Re: Yelling Support Thread a little more ScreamFree food for thought, especially in preparation for tomorrow's holiday (here in the US, anyway ) Learn the Power of Pause. No matter how well you plan ahead, assume a positive attitude and acquire a sensible perspective. Anything can go awry. Learning to take a few deep breaths in the midst of a debacle opens a world of opportunities for you to grow and, in the process, teach others—especially children—invaluable lessons. Instead of becoming reactive and hastily assuming the worst when problems arise, simply pause. Creating a pause unlocks your creativity. You may even become regarded as your family’s steady resource and a breath of fresh air. Excerpted from “A ScreamFree Guide to Holiday Meals” by Hal Runkel. Happy Thanksgiving to all my sweet GCM mama friends __________________ ~ judith blessed with a creative, encouraging man of God for my husband since October 2001 blessed with a delightful, creative little girl since February 2008 blessed with a sweet {but sometimes fierce} empathetic little girl since April 2010 word on the street is I am an ENFP For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

11-23-2011, 09:33 PM	#230
Mom2tkh Rose Blossom Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 136	Re: Yelling Support Thread Subbing because i too am a yeller! I need this support. I have to go to sleep now so i "might" not yell as much tomorrow. It is thanksgiving so i am going to be on my best behavior __________________ Tara mom to- Trey-8 Kiefer-5 Hadlee-3 Always in our heart 9-27-06

11-29-2011, 07:24 AM	#231
filmgirl2911 Rose Garden Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 4,782	Re: Yelling Support Thread having a rough day . . . __________________ ~ judith blessed with a creative, encouraging man of God for my husband since October 2001 blessed with a delightful, creative little girl since February 2008 blessed with a sweet {but sometimes fierce} empathetic little girl since April 2010 word on the street is I am an ENFP For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Last edited by filmgirl2911; 11-29-2011 at 07:36 AM. Reason: public forum

11-29-2011, 01:00 PM	#233
filmgirl2911 Rose Garden Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 4,782	Re: Yelling Support Thread thank you it's a bit better, but it's been a rough up and down ride today sometimes it seems like the times a pray, the harder it is to maintain a scream-free, gentle attitude. that whole thing about asking God to give you patience and he gives you opportunities to develop it __________________ ~ judith blessed with a creative, encouraging man of God for my husband since October 2001 blessed with a delightful, creative little girl since February 2008 blessed with a sweet {but sometimes fierce} empathetic little girl since April 2010 word on the street is I am an ENFP For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

11-29-2011, 01:44 PM	#234
Daria_Aleksandrovna Rose Trellis Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,927	Re: Yelling Support Thread Late to this thread....hope I can be here... Thanks to this forum I didn't yell in a while but on Monday I was so so so ready to scream and felt like not yelling would make me explode seriously or something. Taking deep breath and wait for a minute didn't help at all and even many seconds later I still wanted to scream and rough-handle him.Wait few more seconds. Still angry. But somehow eventually it passed into oblivion and then life was full of compassion for poor young mind again...Phew...but very hard work to restrain!! Definitely a habit training...so worth it. __________________ proud mum of three: DS1 (born Mar'09 ) DS2 (born Aug'11 ) DD1 (born Mar'15 )

11-29-2011, 02:41 PM	#235
gpsings Rose Garden ORANGE you glad I made a new avatar? :D Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 4,084	Re: Yelling Support Thread I have a fractured leg in a boot, and it's hard to get around. Horrible AF 1st day symptoms and the house was AWEFUL and people were coming over. Guess what I did... yep. yelled at the kids. Doesn't even seem to phase them, but that's even sadder. __________________ Gretchen ENTP Wife of Kevin Blessed AP, Homeschooling mama to: Aneliese age 13, Breena age 10, and Caden age 7

11-30-2011, 09:06 AM	#238
Akina Rosebud Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: the middle of nowhere Posts: 80	Re: Yelling Support Thread Rough morning... Massive fit... Sick baby = no sleep at night = harder time not to yell when DS is all about "no". I feel so bad and sorry, I'm the adult, I shouldn't yell. I dug out a bracelet we made at mops with different stones, each representing one, and it helps me to look at it to remind me to be patient and loving. I think DS knows how to push my buttons, but I shouldn't react. It's so tough sometimes. __________________ DH and me = DS (8-2008), DD (1-2011) and our two kitty cats!

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