Yelling Support Thread - Page 14

shaslove · 11-17-2011, 11:03 PM

I am not sure how to handle Lina when she is just getting. on. my. last. nerve.

nanookmama · 11-17-2011, 11:41 PM

Most of the day I'm doing much, much better.

Sensitive:

Pray for me?

kwisie · 11-18-2011, 12:54 PM

I read this a couple of days ago:

James 1:19-2019 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

I really need to work on listening first.

justbreathe · 11-18-2011, 08:05 PM

Kwisie, I need to get this verse tattooed on my palm and smack myself everytime I feel like I'm losing my temper. I try to recite this verse to myself often but I never remember when I really need it.

this is definitely one of those verses that speaks to me.

mollobe · 11-18-2011, 08:29 PM

I was doing much bether for a while, but now I need to get back into this thread and quit ignoring it when it pops up because I've slowly started yelling again.

Soliloquy · 11-18-2011, 09:15 PM

I cut fruit and nuts out of my diet. Day two and I'm already much calmer.

I don't take it regularly anymore but chlorella really helps me. It helps blood sugar stay steady.

justbreathe · 11-21-2011, 07:11 AM

it is 9:00 am and i've already messed up for the day.

DS spilled a huge glass of orange juice all over the dining room table. We've been out of town and I'm just starting to get stuff put away. Right in the path of the juice was the laptop, bills, insurance info for DH's new job, etc and I was in the kitchen and had to make it through an obstacle course just to get there. I told Bear to get a towel and wipe it up quickly. He just stood there and looked at me. Monkey just sat there and looked at me. Bug immediately ran to the puddle and began playing in it. I was frantically trying to grab stuff out of the path of destruction. I repeated "go grab a towel now!". He just looked at me. with my free pinky finger, I pushed him in the direction of the towels, which he casually walked over to, grabbed one, and dropped it on the floor by the table, then just looked at me. By this time I was able to put my arm-load of stuff somewhere else but I just lost it.

(<-- how my face looked I'm sure) Even after I had cleaned up the mess, I was so frustrated, I wasn't being at all kind. I just wish I had a way to motivate him to act quickly when I need him to. I know he is just a kid and it isn't his job but it would just be really nice to have some help.

Tandem mama · 11-21-2011, 07:39 AM

I'm praying right now that God gives me patience. I snapped once. Today we are going to file bankruptcy, so the girls are going to daycare. Sunshine refused to get dressed and we didn't have time do I just put he clothes on and let her know she was not to remove them or there'd be a consequence. I snapped then.

Right now we are in the car (dh is driving) and she's screaming at the top of her lungs that she hates us and will hurt us. She's trying to make deals "if we go home I'll snuggle you but if we go to daycare I'll hurt you" she loves daycare. It's owned by mil. I suspect it's the cupcake a day she's had all week plus the half a root beer she had yesterday. Last night was also rough.

Right now I'm not responding. I told her I wouldn't talk to her til she's calm.

mellymommy · 11-21-2011, 07:56 AM

So, yesterday during church I was praying for everyone in this thread. We were singing a song that repeated "I am redeemed" and I KNEW that redeemed is the word for this thread. God has redeemed us from anger. He has made us a new creation--one NOT angry, one that uses our voices for HIM and for HIS Kingdom. We don't *have* to live in a place where we go to our loud/angry/harsh/"effective" voice. God redeemed us and purposes us to be His voice to our children (and husbands and co-workers and friends and cashiers and postal workers, etc.

). I know there is victory for all of us. God doesn't want us to stay trapped. We are redeemed!

KLin · 11-21-2011, 08:27 AM

Thank Melody for sharing.

I needed to hear it again.

11-21-2011, 08:47 AM

How do you reset when the kids wake up in a funk? It is a trigger for me when they are just plain argumentative and oppositional. I think we are going to try and get out of the house for a bit but they even complained about that :/

canadiyank · 11-21-2011, 09:29 AM

Iansmama, did they wake up on their own? How soon did they eat?

for the start of a rough morning.

I did not sleep well (partially my own fault, partially baby) and *I* woke up in a funk. Did pretty well yesterday, not well on Sat.

Tandem mama · 11-21-2011, 10:02 AM

Whew we made it through the meltdown. It was an hour and a half long. I didn't yell.

11-21-2011, 10:31 AM

It was a long and busy weekend, so I am sure that it some of it, but they did wake up on their own and even had an early bedtime last night. They have been eating all morning, but didn't eat for the first hour or so. I also got up from the computer and got busy with dishes and laundry and that alone helped. What is it about a parent at the computer that makes the kids crazy?

No hollering

Mum2Es · 11-21-2011, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tandem mama

Whew we made it through the meltdown. It was an hour and a half long. I didn't yell.

Well done!

11-17-2011, 11:03 PM	#196
shaslove Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Rainy Oregon Posts: 8,997	Re: Yelling Support Thread I am not sure how to handle Lina when she is just getting. on. my. last. nerve. __________________ Shannon, INFJ (Weekday SAHM/Weekend Barista) Wielder of fine coffee and compassionate comments. Wife to my DH, graduate teaching student Francisco (ISFP), since 7/7/07 Mom by adoption to Lina, my 11-yr-old w/sensory issues and, after 4 years, 2 months, and 20 days of infertility, birth mom to 2-yr-old Baby Bird We are a DF, GF, dye-free Jesus loving family! PM me for help or encouragement with infertility issues.

11-17-2011, 11:41 PM	#197
nanookmama Rose Trellis It's gonna be a great day. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Colorado! Posts: 2,047	Re: Yelling Support Thread Most of the day I'm doing much, much better. Sensitive: But when the toddler slaps the baby, grabs the baby by the head and shoves her down, bashes, hits, bites, etc I. LOSE. IT. I just cannot stomach watching her do that any more. I am DONE. But I cannot keep myself physically between them until she magically outgrows this. I was nursing the baby and the toddler walked over, smacked her in the face and then darted away. I get that in that instance the toddler wanted my attention. But we had been playing together, had lots of one on one time, etc. She is going to have to deal with the fact that I am not her personal entertainment device. Another time today she got up from reading and playing out a book with me to go over and push her baby sister over. um, HELLO?! I raged (inwardly). I was furious. I'm beginning to worry for her safety (the toddler's). Because my reactions are getting worse, and bigger. I'm exercising, I'm eating well, I'm taking time for myself, I'm going to up my bible study and prayer time. But she HAS to STOP HURTING the baby. Or I am going to need someone to babysit me. I scared her this morning when I yelled at her. It's so quick, I only yell once. Like a sentence or something before I realize what I'm doing and shut my mouth. But then it's like my arms are almost shaking I'm trying so hard not to hurt her. I come from a history of abuse and I know that these are learned behaviors, but I really thought that not engaging them would be enough for me to break this cycle. It isn't. Apparently. Pray for me? __________________ Sarah Wife to the Poet Mom to Feisty-Pants (4) and Princess Artist (2) and Tall Chipmunk (born 3/30/14) Resurrecting MamaPsalmist Press Pause Photography

11-18-2011, 12:54 PM	#198
kwisie Rose Garden Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In my sparkly place Posts: 15,140	Re: Yelling Support Thread I read this a couple of days ago: James 1:19-2019 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. I really need to work on listening first. __________________ *Karen* 4 Wielder of the Sparkly Pencil of Sneak-Attack Silliness. Flowery Sunshine Power Woman

11-18-2011, 08:05 PM	#199
justbreathe Deactivated Grumpy kitten is watching you Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 4,103	Re: Yelling Support Thread Kwisie, I need to get this verse tattooed on my palm and smack myself everytime I feel like I'm losing my temper. I try to recite this verse to myself often but I never remember when I really need it. this is definitely one of those verses that speaks to me.

11-18-2011, 08:29 PM	#200
mollobe Rose Garden .thankful. Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: MN Posts: 6,451	Re: Yelling Support Thread I was doing much bether for a while, but now I need to get back into this thread and quit ignoring it when it pops up because I've slowly started yelling again. __________________ Molly Wife to Josh since 4/05 Mom to (click on their names for links to their birth stories) Ian: 9/07 Claire: 2/10 Owen: 4/13

11-18-2011, 09:15 PM	#201
Soliloquy Rose Garden Why climb a mountain? Because it's there! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Selkirk Mountains Posts: 52,860	Re: Yelling Support Thread I cut fruit and nuts out of my diet. Day two and I'm already much calmer. I don't take it regularly anymore but chlorella really helps me. It helps blood sugar stay steady.

11-21-2011, 07:11 AM	#202
justbreathe Deactivated Grumpy kitten is watching you Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 4,103	Re: Yelling Support Thread it is 9:00 am and i've already messed up for the day. DS spilled a huge glass of orange juice all over the dining room table. We've been out of town and I'm just starting to get stuff put away. Right in the path of the juice was the laptop, bills, insurance info for DH's new job, etc and I was in the kitchen and had to make it through an obstacle course just to get there. I told Bear to get a towel and wipe it up quickly. He just stood there and looked at me. Monkey just sat there and looked at me. Bug immediately ran to the puddle and began playing in it. I was frantically trying to grab stuff out of the path of destruction. I repeated "go grab a towel now!". He just looked at me. with my free pinky finger, I pushed him in the direction of the towels, which he casually walked over to, grabbed one, and dropped it on the floor by the table, then just looked at me. By this time I was able to put my arm-load of stuff somewhere else but I just lost it. (<-- how my face looked I'm sure) Even after I had cleaned up the mess, I was so frustrated, I wasn't being at all kind. I just wish I had a way to motivate him to act quickly when I need him to. I know he is just a kid and it isn't his job but it would just be really nice to have some help.

11-21-2011, 07:39 AM	#203
Tandem mama Rose Garden In my world everyone's a pony Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies Posts: 11,743	Re: Yelling Support Thread I'm praying right now that God gives me patience. I snapped once. Today we are going to file bankruptcy, so the girls are going to daycare. Sunshine refused to get dressed and we didn't have time do I just put he clothes on and let her know she was not to remove them or there'd be a consequence. I snapped then. Right now we are in the car (dh is driving) and she's screaming at the top of her lungs that she hates us and will hurt us. She's trying to make deals "if we go home I'll snuggle you but if we go to daycare I'll hurt you" she loves daycare. It's owned by mil. I suspect it's the cupcake a day she's had all week plus the half a root beer she had yesterday. Last night was also rough. Right now I'm not responding. I told her I wouldn't talk to her til she's calm. __________________ I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1) Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014

11-21-2011, 07:56 AM	#204
mellymommy Rose Garden Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,944	Re: Yelling Support Thread So, yesterday during church I was praying for everyone in this thread. We were singing a song that repeated "I am redeemed" and I KNEW that redeemed is the word for this thread. God has redeemed us from anger. He has made us a new creation--one NOT angry, one that uses our voices for HIM and for HIS Kingdom. We don't have to live in a place where we go to our loud/angry/harsh/"effective" voice. God redeemed us and purposes us to be His voice to our children (and husbands and co-workers and friends and cashiers and postal workers, etc. ). I know there is victory for all of us. God doesn't want us to stay trapped. We are redeemed! __________________ Melody Married since 1999, rebuilding since June 2013 Hybrid Mommy to ds1 (12/02, SPD) dd (9/04) ds2 (10/07, C22 disorder) ds3 (5/08) ds4 (1/09) dd2 (9/11) http://www.themelodyward.com htty://www.joplinmamaresurrected.blogspot.com

11-21-2011, 08:27 AM	#205
KLin Rose Garden Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Arizona Posts: 3,575	Re: Yelling Support Thread Thank Melody for sharing. I needed to hear it again. __________________ Kendra wife to lifelong love. Mother of two active munchie boys Destroyer5/28/02 Conqueror 1/8/05

11-21-2011, 08:47 AM	#206
Iansmama Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Yelling Support Thread How do you reset when the kids wake up in a funk? It is a trigger for me when they are just plain argumentative and oppositional. I think we are going to try and get out of the house for a bit but they even complained about that :/

11-21-2011, 09:29 AM	#207
canadiyank Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central WA Posts: 17,196	Re: Yelling Support Thread Iansmama, did they wake up on their own? How soon did they eat? for the start of a rough morning. I did not sleep well (partially my own fault, partially baby) and I woke up in a funk. Did pretty well yesterday, not well on Sat.

11-21-2011, 10:02 AM	#208
Tandem mama Rose Garden In my world everyone's a pony Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies Posts: 11,743	Re: Yelling Support Thread Whew we made it through the meltdown. It was an hour and a half long. I didn't yell. __________________ I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1) Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014

11-21-2011, 10:31 AM	#209
Iansmama Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Yelling Support Thread It was a long and busy weekend, so I am sure that it some of it, but they did wake up on their own and even had an early bedtime last night. They have been eating all morning, but didn't eat for the first hour or so. I also got up from the computer and got busy with dishes and laundry and that alone helped. What is it about a parent at the computer that makes the kids crazy? No hollering

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