Yelling Support Thread

[ThreeKids]

I haven't yelled for 10 minutes.

[tempus vernum]

(((hug)) With AF past, I am MUCH MUCH calmer. Today I actually felt like a calm ocean Weird for me.

Prayer, deep breathing and diet have been my best defense against rage.

I also recently realized that a lot of times I get angry because I feel personally offended when my dc do not obey. I am trying to get over that to realize they are just kids

[filmgirl2911]

Iansmama - sometimes if I cannot get the babes reset, I reset me. Sometimes, that includes putting on a movie (even though it is way earlier than I'd like for a movie) and getting into the shower so that I can refocus and start the day again

It tends to help much of the time. Then, like you, I avoid my computer and get busy getting food into hungry bellies and we all move on from there.



way to go to all the mamas who are able to reshift in the moment

redeemed is a great concept for this thread, mellymommy. I tend to count on that daily

---------- Post added at 02:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:59 AM ----------

Originally Posted by SonshineMama

(((hug))
I also recently realized that a lot of times I get angry because I feel personally offended when my dc do not obey. I am trying to get over that to realize they are just kids

this is such a big shift for me, too. it's so hard not to fall into that mindset because it is everywhere it seems like some kind of fault if my children don't do what I asked. And yet they are 3.6 y.o. and 19 months

Loving the book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline #nodsenthusiastically

It's really helping me work on shifting the way I view my world here at home

[tempus vernum]

I wish I could say that Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline helped me with this. It's only been recently that I realized DEEP DEEP down I am still personally offended when my children aren't compliant. I have been gentle parenting for a decade now and have done the challenge in ETLDTD at least 2 or 3 times

Each season in our lives seems to bring out a new layer in my never ending deep emotions I've closeted away

Never imagined parenting to be this difficult

[swimming with sharks]

Good Morning Mommas! Here's your morsel for today (and I think it's EXCELLENT!!) Screamfree parenting while not always gentle is largely about learning to control YOUR reactions to things. I'm praying for all of us here as we struggle to remain calm in the face of large obstacles.

"If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase."

-Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD)

ScreamFree parents still feel anger. But instead of allowing it to control them, they can control it. Many times, people who say that they have a problem with anger are not quite ready to give it up yet. They may not like how they act when they are angry, but for a good portion of their lives, the anger has served them some meaningful purpose and it can be difficult to let go of.
Today, when you are with your children and you feel that familiar rise of anger take a pause. Tell yourself that just because you feel it, doesn’t mean that you have to feed it. And instead of replaying a scene of disrespect or looking for something to criticize in your child, deal productively with the situation at hand and look for something positive instead.
-Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting

[tempus vernum]

Originally Posted by swimming with sharks

Good Morning Mommas! Here's your morsel for today (and I think it's EXCELLENT!!) Screamfree parenting while not always gentle is largely about learning to control YOUR reactions to things. I'm praying for all of us here as we struggle to remain calm in the face of large obstacles.

"If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase."

-Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD)

ScreamFree parents still feel anger. But instead of allowing it to control them, they can control it. Many times, people who say that they have a problem with anger are not quite ready to give it up yet. They may not like how they act when they are angry, but for a good portion of their lives, the anger has served them some meaningful purpose and it can be difficult to let go of.
Today, when you are with your children and you feel that familiar rise of anger take a pause. Tell yourself that just because you feel it, doesn’t mean that you have to feed it. And instead of replaying a scene of disrespect or looking for something to criticize in your child, deal productively with the situation at hand and look for something positive instead.
-Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting

THAT IS PHENOMENAL.

[movinforward]

Ahhh, I sooooo needed this thread. Thank you so much. So much good information here. Esp. loved what SonShineMama said about feeling offended when DC do not obey. I am right there...I start yelling at them when they don't obey Makes me sad to realize how much I yell - yet I tell them not to yell at me! Parenting is so so hard. Why is it this difficult? I too like another poster mentioned...when I have my agenda and the kids are interrupting it, I become impatient and yell more easily. I don't want to yell. I am right here with all of you.

[canadiyank]

I've started Screamfree Parenting several times - great motivation to read it again.

[celestial princess]

Well, I avoided this thread for a few weeks. but I've tried to think about it ... sporadically. Here's the main things I've noticed: 1) I yell when I feel angry (duh) or tired or unproductive or hindered. 2). I have a violently, almost sickeningly (as in I feel slightly nauseous) angry response to whining/tantrums/fighting/hurting each other. These realizations do not seem like forward progress. also, though, I have been recently, tentatively, typed a 3. I think there is a lightbulb in the warming up stage sover my head My mom is almost certainly a 3, but she's so ... ugh. Big feelings and baggage. Just think bad 3. And throughout my life I have HATED that about her, and HATED it about myself when it's come out. So I'm trying to run from it by putting on what seems to me to be the opposite energy type (more 2) but feeling stymied there as well, and so all that energy just comes erupting out because I'm just TRYING TO GET STUFF DONE! Like I said, the light bulb's just beginning to glow . I just wish that just WANTING to be a better parent realistically MADE you a better parent. : (

[canadiyank]

Awful day today.

[charla]

Wow, I blew it earlier this afternoon.

Hugs and grace to us all.

[mellymommy]

Did well today. As corny as it sounds, I frequently reminded myself of the SCC song that "everything ypu do, do to the glory of the one who made us..." I want to glorify God and do all as unto Him. That helps me when I am in a place where I have to help someone I am struggling to like (I won't mention any names *cough* 3.5yo *cough*).

[Emerald Orchid]

I'm doing a lot better with the kids, but DH is driving me batty (pregnancy hormones) and I'm having a very hard time being kind with my words. He really dislikes me right now.

[mellymommy]

Sometimes life feels impossible when your dh doesn't like you...been there.

[Soliloquy]

I've been doing much better. I stopped eating fruit for a week and felt so much calmer, then I took the whole family off fruit, officially yesterday but I tapered them down. They are like different kids. Well, the older two are.

Someone mentioned computer time. My internet access is my phone and I try not to touch my phone until afternoon. I'm not very g ood at that, but I'm trying, and it helps.