Gentle Christian Mothers Community
 
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas

~* Please help keep GCM free by using our
Amazon.com affiliate link. Thank you! *~


Go Back   Gentle Christian Mothers Community > Mothering Thru the Years > Nurturing our Children (AP & Multi-age Parenting Topics) *Public*
Forgot Password? Join Us!

Nurturing our Children (AP & Multi-age Parenting Topics) *Public* A public forum.
GCM Webpage: Attachment and Natural Parenting

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-20-2008, 05:08 AM   #31
WanderingJuniper
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 10,819
WanderingJuniper has disabled reputation
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Thank you for that post. I find that at 4 suddenly the little things like messes and potty misses upset me. Yet, when you look at them at 4 they still are so little.
WanderingJuniper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2008, 06:56 AM   #32
The Tickle Momster
Rose Garden
 
previously mlrowley
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 17,936
The Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond reputeThe Tickle Momster has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

good points. Thanks for sharing!
__________________
Michelle

wife to Tom ('95)
Momma to:
DD (A) 21 and her DH (YM) 21
DS (T) 19
DD (C) 17
'07
DS (N) 14
Save
Save
The Tickle Momster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2008, 07:09 AM   #33
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

one thought I wanted to add . . . I was in an online discussion with a woman years ago on the MOPS board discussing spanking and she at one point said, "So you're saying that all the things I work so hard to spank out of them before the age of 5 I should just put up with?" and I answered, 'I'm saying that by the age of 5, whether you spank or not, most children will have naturally grown out of those things. Spanking has nothing to do with them stopping--it's maturity.'

I still get people contacting me from that thread
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
Aurian (01-15-2010), deena (03-09-2011), Desert Rose (10-16-2010), Earthylady (07-27-2013), Elspeth (08-22-2012), gentletitus2mama (07-30-2013), gracechelle (02-10-2012), Hopetobe (08-12-2012), jmom1984 (01-12-2012), Llee (07-27-2009)
Old 09-20-2008, 07:17 AM   #34
mommyTay
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

I have been thinking about and struggling with this concept a lot the last few weeks.
In our case, I have to not only view them as much younger, but in some areas tactfully treat them as much younger. Because of our 6yo's history, her emotional, behavioral development is only the level of an average 2yo. I have found that we have a lot less trauma moments if I keep her in the same room with me at all times, like I would a young toddler. The 4, 5 and even 2 yo don't require the stricter boundaries and extreme supervision. It's hard not letting her know I am treating her like a baby, when she can see the others have more freedom. Sadly, when I let her have more space, she is immediately into things that are not appropriate. Yesterday she went in the barn, which is "off limits", and spilled 2 gals of gas/oil mix for the chainsaw on herself and the 2yo.
The hard part of setting safe limits is that what would work for a child her emotional age, doesn't work for a child her physical age. she has learned to open most safety latches and even how to unlock doors with a screwdriver or bobbypins.

Sorry this got long, hopefully it is fitting in subject. I am trying to type with tantrumming 5 & 6 yo on the floor next to me. they were fighting over the 2 yo's chair and sunglasses. They decided they like hers better than their own.
  Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post:
deena (03-09-2011)
Old 09-20-2008, 07:23 AM   #35
kwisie
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In my sparkly place
Posts: 15,140
kwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond reputekwisie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Wow, Heather, that's quite a transforming thought! I'll definitely have to share this with DH.
__________________
Karen

4

Wielder of the Sparkly Pencil of Sneak-Attack Silliness.
Flowery Sunshine Power Woman
kwisie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2008, 07:42 AM   #36
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Tay, special needs children need to be treated according to their developmental age, not their actual age. Just like preemies for the first few years need to be compared to their actual age and not adjusted age. That makes it all harder--but IME having a special needs child made it even more real how much up to age 5 they were just little ones. When a 4yo is acting like a 4yo it's frustrating--when a 10yo is acting like a 4yo it's sad
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
deena (03-09-2011)
Old 09-20-2008, 08:04 AM   #37
GlacierLily
Rose Garden
 
“Overcoming what frightens you the most strengthens you the most.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Where the glacier lillies grow ;)
Posts: 3,939
GlacierLily has disabled reputation
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Where did you learn that??!! I would like to share it but I need to be able to "prove" it
__________________
<--- I just like that ice cream icon. It makes me happy

Mama to our medical munchkin -3 (ASD,CHD, GDD medically complex & cognitively age 1 ) and super siblings !
GlacierLily is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to GlacierLily For This Useful Post:
Earthylady (07-27-2013)
Old 09-20-2008, 08:47 AM   #38
Dana Joy
Deactivated
 
AKA "Mommy Piadosa" or on FB "PunkHippyMommy"
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 14,478
Dana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond reputeDana Joy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

So, yesterday I was listening to the director of my school talk on brain development- and I will paraphrase what she said- (next week when I get the chance to talk to her more - I will get more research to back this up.)

As an infant grows the brains two hemespheres start forming connections- these connections make it possible to integrate information and create complex thoughts- these connections are not "mature" until the age of 7-10. So she was saying that until these connections are made- we a) need to expect that children won't always be able to access information we think they know b) need to be their connections for them by modeling and coaching
She also pointed out how countries that don't start formal schooling until this age have 100% literacy rates.

Taking it a step further- she says that the frontal lobe- which is where logic, and impulse control is, does not fully integrate into the brian until 21-25 years of age.

I was just that her talk went right with this thread.
Dana Joy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dana Joy For This Useful Post:
ECingMama (07-17-2013), Hopetobe (08-12-2012), jmom1984 (01-12-2012)
Old 09-20-2008, 10:26 AM   #39
souporrfly
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Wow!! I have been having a difficult time with my 4 yr old (almost 5 in November) testing boundaries everyday several times a day in a very loud way..She has always been passionate but for the most part we will have a good day following a more challenging day. This thread helped me ALOT!!! I am trying to remain consistent but don't always have the back up with DH. I have 2 specific questions....I am wondering if anyone has had a little one who like to play with the tp as they are going potty. She will make things with the tp and she has clogged the toilet a couple times. I explained that it could break the potty and it's wasting what we have been given ect.. I had to take the tp and only give her a little bit while she is in there. If she needs more than she is to ask for it, or help from me if she needs it..(wiping the poo) I hope I'm handling this right. She is also insisting she is to be called by whatever animal or character that she is pretending to be for the day, and gets mad at me if I forget what she has decided to "be" for the day... please know she changes her character a few times a day...Is this level of pretend play normal?
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2008, 10:34 AM   #40
3PeasInAPod
Deactivated
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: pnw
Posts: 8,571
3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute3PeasInAPod has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

I copied the OP in my word processor & Dana's post on brain development.

Heather - what studies/books are there that explains the Hebrew thought about infants-5yrs old are still babies?

Does anyone know of a good scientific/intellectual book on toddler brain development?
3PeasInAPod is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 3PeasInAPod For This Useful Post:
Hopetobe (08-12-2012)
Old 09-20-2008, 11:51 AM   #41
NoodleMom
Deactivated
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,580
NoodleMom is a jewel in the roughNoodleMom is a jewel in the roughNoodleMom is a jewel in the roughNoodleMom is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

But...but...but.....my guy is 8 now. He cant be a big kid yet. Im not ready. He still sleeps with us. He used to sleep on his own and maybe visit us two or three times a week. Now he comes in every night. We just moved and he is scared of he dark up there. However I do see some big kid qualities.

K

NoodleMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2008, 11:55 AM   #42
Sweet Life
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,575
Sweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond reputeSweet Life has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove
one thought I wanted to add . . . I was in an online discussion with a woman years ago on the MOPS board discussing spanking and she at one point said, "So you're saying that all the things I work so hard to spank out of them before the age of 5 I should just put up with?" and I answered, 'I'm saying that by the age of 5, whether you spank or not, most children will have naturally grown out of those things. Spanking has nothing to do with them stopping--it's maturity.'

I still get people contacting me from that thread
How interesting. And exciting that people are still reading it.
__________________
Married mama of 6 yummy blessings = 1 college, 2 high school, 1 middle school, 1 elementary school, 1 preschool
Sweet Life is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2008, 12:11 PM   #43
Serafine
Deactivated
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 9,444
Serafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond reputeSerafine has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy
So, yesterday I was listening to the director of my school talk on brain development- and I will paraphrase what she said- (next week when I get the chance to talk to her more - I will get more research to back this up.)

As an infant grows the brains two hemespheres start forming connections- these connections make it possible to integrate information and create complex thoughts- these connections are not "mature" until the age of 7-10. So she was saying that until these connections are made- we a) need to expect that children won't always be able to access information we think they know b) need to be their connections for them by modeling and coaching
She also pointed out how countries that don't start formal schooling until this age have 100% literacy rates.

Taking it a step further- she says that the frontal lobe- which is where logic, and impulse control is, does not fully integrate into the brian until 21-25 years of age.

I was just that her talk went right with this thread.
Funny how just now (in the 21st century), we are just starting to realize what God had clearly discussed in His Word several thousand years ago.
Serafine is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Serafine For This Useful Post:
Bearscatsandkumquats (01-15-2014), Desert Rose (10-16-2010)
Old 09-20-2008, 12:21 PM   #44
Anelle
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

WHat a lovely reminder!!!

Anelle
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2008, 12:03 AM   #45
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
ArmsOfLove has disabled reputation
Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

play along with her pretend play

Quote:
I am wondering if anyone has had a little one who like to play with the tp as they are going potty.
put it up where it's out of her reach and hand her enough to wipe while you supervise. BTDT a few times

As for "proof" you can check out the book "Spare the Rod" by Samuel Martin--it supports a lot of what I've put forth in my studies and backs it up with the Hebrew.

You can also look at Classical Education theory on brain development
ArmsOfLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post:
Hopetobe (08-12-2012)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:36 PM.


A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.

Amazon.com affiliate link

Copyright 1997-2017 by Gentle Christian Mothers™
An alternative-minded, evangelical Christian community supporting attachment parenting and natural living.

Do not post content elsewhere.
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/

Some smilies created and copyrighted by Mazeguy.
Some smilies and avatars created and copyrighted by flowermama and children -- do not use elsewhere.

Soli Deo Gloria
To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 16:27 (KJV)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information
  • Page Generation 0.12098 seconds
  • Memory Usage 8,028KB
  • Queries Executed 14 (?)
More Information
Template Usage:
  • (1)SHOWTHREAD
  • (1)ad_footer_end
  • (1)ad_footer_start
  • (1)ad_header_end
  • (1)ad_header_logo
  • (1)ad_navbar_below
  • (1)ad_showthread_beforeqr
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_sig
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_start
  • (3)bbcode_quote
  • (1)cyb_flashimagebanners
  • (1)footer
  • (1)forumjump
  • (1)forumrules
  • (1)gobutton
  • (1)header
  • (1)headinclude
  • (1)navbar
  • (3)navbar_link
  • (60)option
  • (1)pagenav
  • (1)pagenav_curpage
  • (6)pagenav_pagelink
  • (15)post_groan_box
  • (1)post_groan_javascript
  • (1)post_groan_navbar_search
  • (15)post_thanks_box
  • (20)post_thanks_box_bit
  • (1)post_thanks_javascript
  • (1)post_thanks_navbar_search
  • (8)post_thanks_postbit_legacy
  • (15)postbit_legacy
  • (12)postbit_onlinestatus
  • (75)postbit_reputation
  • (15)postbit_wrapper
  • (4)showthread_bookmarksite
  • (1)smqre_editor_button
  • (1)spacer_close
  • (1)spacer_open
  • (1)tagbit_wrapper 

Phrase Groups Available:
  • global
  • inlinemod
  • postbit
  • posting
  • reputationlevel
  • showthread
Included Files:
  • ./showthread.php
  • ./global.php
  • ./includes/init.php
  • ./includes/class_core.php
  • ./includes/config.php
  • ./includes/functions.php
  • ./includes/class_hook.php
  • ./includes/functions_notice.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner.php
  • ./mobiquo/include/classTTConnection.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner/head.inc.php
  • ./includes/functions_bigthree.php
  • ./includes/class_postbit.php
  • ./includes/class_bbcode.php
  • ./includes/functions_reputation.php
  • ./includes/adminfunctions_template.php
  • ./includes/functions_misc.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_groan.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • fetch_musername
  • notices_check_start
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • template_groups
  • template_safe_functions
  • template_compile
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_start
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_end
  • reputation_image
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • error_fetch
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_start
  • post_thanks_function_show_thanks_date_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_end
  • pagenav_page
  • pagenav_complete
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete