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Old 09-25-2019, 09:16 AM   #1
Littledisciples
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My sweet girls who have given me strength to endure
 
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Default Mom stages?

Do you ever feel like you donít belong. Sometimes being a mom once your kids are older itís as if the world thinks you donít matter. I know itís hard having little ones because I been there done it. My kids are all teens and its still hard but you get no support. Once your kids are grown I guess it will be even worse.
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Old 09-25-2019, 09:23 AM   #2
Hermana Linda
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"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
 
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Default Re: Mom stages?

It's a stage and all stages pass. As my kids grew up, I found other groups to join. Then they got married and now I'm a grandmother.

I rarely feel like I really belong in a group, because I had such a unconventional upbringing. But I have learned to find common ground and focus on it. The important thing is to love (agape) people and focus on glorifying God. Everything else falls into place.

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Old 09-25-2019, 11:52 AM   #3
Soliloquy
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Default Re: Mom stages?

Yes, I sure do. Moms my age (40s) usually have lots of free time. I have teenagers, middle kids, and a toddler. I'm still in the toddler stage even with teenagers. Moms my age eventually stopped inviting me to things because I could never attend. On the other hand, I'm so so so done with preschool playdates. I cannot stand hanging out at a playground with a bunch of moms I barely know (and who are probably much younger than me) because I've been doing it for so many years now.

Also, my parenting journey with teens is quite atypical.

I do have some close friends, though, but I'm done with groups and meet-ups. And I get introduced to people who are new to the area all the time. Especially if they also homeschool, there's a push to have a get together with them. I just don't have the energy right now.

We love our homeschool co-op but I'm pretty busy while I'm there and I don't do large scale socializing anymore. I seek out my close friends for a quick catch up.
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Old 09-25-2019, 01:31 PM   #4
knitlove
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Default Re: Mom stages?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soliloquy View Post
Yes, I sure do. Moms my age (40s) usually have lots of free time. I have teenagers, middle kids, and a toddler. I'm still in the toddler stage even with teenagers. Moms my age eventually stopped inviting me to things because I could never attend. On the other hand, I'm so so so done with preschool playdates. I cannot stand hanging out at a playground with a bunch of moms I barely know (and who are probably much younger than me) because I've been doing it for so many years now.

Also, my parenting journey with teens is quite atypical.

I do have some close friends, though, but I'm done with groups and meet-ups. And I get introduced to people who are new to the area all the time. Especially if they also homeschool, there's a push to have a get together with them. I just don't have the energy right now.

We love our homeschool co-op but I'm pretty busy while I'm there and I don't do large scale socializing anymore. I seek out my close friends for a quick catch up.
I think this is quite common. One of the major things I found after moving is that there is no way to meet moms my age ( I am almo 40) they all have there friends and aren't interested in meeting anyone new or hanging out in groups where that would even happen. All the mom's I have met at coop have kids wiggle worm's age or younger ( and most of thoes that is there oldest) no one with kids in upper elementary.

I feel like when your oldest is preschool you find your group of friends. I hope that there will another point where I can find friends.


Right now I am collecting ' friends' who are younger than my parents but who have kids who are collage age or a bit older. People who think my girls are wonderful and adorable because they miss having little kids and don't yet have grandkids.

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and my little Wiggle Worm born 33 weeks who is six.
How do I suddenly not have any little girls!
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Old 09-25-2019, 01:46 PM   #5
heartofjoy
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Assign positive intent
 
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Default Re: Mom stages?

I've realized that I need friends who will actually BE MY FRIEND no matter what our kid-husband-church situations looks like. After having people sort of leave me behind because of changing kid and church situations, now I really focus on those friends that I perceive care about me no matter where we are in life. I have a friend with college age to 7 months! We make time for each other even when it's hard. Another friend lives far away and her kids started public school and we homeschool but we message all day every day to start in touch. We support each other through our daily ups and downs. It's great!

I don't feel like I have a group. I see groups around me and I'm not in them. I'm mostly okay with that.

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Old 09-25-2019, 02:38 PM   #6
knitlove
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Default Re: Mom stages?

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartofjoy View Post
I've realized that I need friends who will actually BE MY FRIEND no matter what our kid-husband-church situations looks like.
Useing this definition I have one friend - she lives across the countey and isn't married. I have two or three other people I left in Vermont who we will see if I can keep up with.

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How do I suddenly not have any little girls!
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Old 09-25-2019, 04:41 PM   #7
Aerynne
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Default Re: Mom stages?

Itís hard having toddlers to teens and itís hard homeschooling- those two things make it tough to feel like I belong.
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Old 09-25-2019, 06:10 PM   #8
WanderingJuniper
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Default Re: Mom stages?

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartofjoy View Post
I've realized that I need friends who will actually BE MY FRIEND no matter what our kid-husband-church situations looks like. After having people sort of leave me behind because of changing kid and church situations, now I really focus on those friends that I perceive care about me no matter where we are in life. I have a friend with college age to 7 months! We make time for each other even when it's hard. Another friend lives far away and her kids started public school and we homeschool but we message all day every day to start in touch. We support each other through our daily ups and downs. It's great!

I don't feel like I have a group. I see groups around me and I'm not in them. I'm mostly okay with that.

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This is kind of where Iím at too. I donít really have a Groupon i fit in. I have friends I can count on but they donít crossover into a group. I never really fit. When my kids were little I was younger than most their moms of littles in our area. People my age didnít have kids. I ďfitĒ enough when my kids were elementary aged but as they became teens I was out again because I started working outside of the home and they often got together during school hours. Now I just kind of donít care about fitting. If I go out with a group of people they are fun acquaintances that range from 21-60.
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Old 09-26-2019, 12:08 PM   #9
Soliloquy
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Default Re: Mom stages?

We've lived in 3 states since having kids. I've had to start over. It is hard.
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