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Old 07-15-2010, 05:44 AM   #1
Emerald Orchid
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Default Are you veg and your DH isn't?

Are you the one that cooks? How do you keep both happy with what's on their plate?

I've been a flexitarian for 4 years now (80% veg) and I would like to go full time veg, but my dh is a carnivore. He doesn't complain too much, but when he doesn't have meat regularly, he starts to grumble. ("Where's the protein?")

Any tips on making this work? I've tried making veg meals to which he adds meat, but that doesn't always work out because he works a lot and doesn't have much time to cook.
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Old 07-15-2010, 05:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

Yup. I'm a life-long veg & DH is not. I cook. He eats what I cook. I don't cook meat, with the exception of a Thanksgiving turkey sometimes. I don't buy it either. He deals with it. He is "allowed" to order meat if we go out to eat, or when we are at other folks' homes. It is what it is... I was pretty clear up front that I'll not have a meaty house, and he deals w/ it.
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:18 AM   #3
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

flexitarian - I have never heard that term before! Yup, that sounds like a good way to describe myself.

I guess it depends on how you feel about people who eat meat. I know that some people are very strongly against anyone eating meat and others are ok with those around them eating it but prefer not to themselves. I imagine your transition will be much more difficult if you fall into the first category. If you are still ok with your hubby eating meat, it shouldn't be too hard.

I try to cook strictly vegetarian meals a few times a week. Generally DH is ok with it as long as I load him up with foods that he likes in that meal. For meals that I know won't satisfy him, I try to add some meat on the side for him, like a hamburger patty. He is a huge fan of beef, and I'm not, so this works well for us. when I make spaghetti, I end up making two different sauces - well, they start out the same but then I add a bit of ground beef to half the sauce in a seperate pan. If I am making quesadillas, I add some sort of meat to his but not mine.

I hope this helped a bit. After my coffee kicks in, I'm sure I'll be back with more ideas.
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Old 07-19-2010, 09:54 AM   #4
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

I am the vegetarian and DH eats both. He will eat some of the the vegetarian meals at home but he will eat meat outside of the home. He will occasionally eat meat at home but only if we are grilling. THe boys are like their daddy if they dont know it is all vegetarian they will eat it but they eat meat as well. I trick them with the morningstar crumbles that look like ground beef for chili and spaghetti. Anyway I dont mind it most of the time if it has lots of beans in say a south west salad if the boys want chicken in it and I dont obviously i fix mine first do the chicken in something else and add it to theirs not mine. I try to do alot of stuff that way. This year I will be doing thanksgiving at my house so there will be meat eaters so I will have to do the turkey but I think i will do a tofurkey for me this year. Last year was the first thanks giving since becoming a vegetarian and it was a little wierd but I think I am so grossed out by the thought of it even now that when the time comes not a problem.
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Old 07-19-2010, 10:09 AM   #5
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchyusmcluv View Post
I am the vegetarian and DH eats both. He will eat some of the the vegetarian meals at home but he will eat meat outside of the home. He will occasionally eat meat at home but only if we are grilling. THe boys are like their daddy if they dont know it is all vegetarian they will eat it but they eat meat as well. I trick them with the morningstar crumbles that look like ground beef for chili and spaghetti. Anyway I dont mind it most of the time if it has lots of beans in say a south west salad if the boys want chicken in it and I dont obviously i fix mine first do the chicken in something else and add it to theirs not mine. I try to do alot of stuff that way. This year I will be doing thanksgiving at my house so there will be meat eaters so I will have to do the turkey but I think i will do a tofurkey for me this year. Last year was the first thanks giving since becoming a vegetarian and it was a little wierd but I think I am so grossed out by the thought of it even now that when the time comes not a problem.
You bring up the kids, I was wondering about that too. Bamboo likes meat and if DH is having it, he wants some. I would rather raise veg boys, but if dh isn't, I guess my expectation is too high?
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Old 07-19-2010, 10:21 AM   #6
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

Flexitarian is a great word!

I don't call my self veg really but i cook veg. i'm okay with meat when it's farmed humanely and killed kosher and humane (which means I very rarely end up eating it, but i do eat fish).

i told dh that if he wanted me to cook meat we would need to drive to the local location to pick up meat that meets my ethical standards. he's never once arranged for us to drive there on a saturday morning.

he still buys meat (sausage) at the stores sometimes and cooks it himself. he also eats meat when he eats out.

despite not having meat we don't have any lack of protein and i have to say my veggie dishes are really tasty. he used to want me to add chicken to everything (before i was 'veg', though i've never liked cooking meat) and somewhere along the way he stopped commenting on it.

i think it's acceptable to say that i can't be expected to cook something that contradicts my convictions or conscience.

---------- Post added at 12:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:17 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Orchid View Post
You bring up the kids, I was wondering about that too. Bamboo likes meat and if DH is having it, he wants some. I would rather raise veg boys, but if dh isn't, I guess my expectation is too high?
I've struggled with this. I don't mind my kids eating meat if it's safe and ethical but the meat dh buys is very much neither of those. He buys cheap meat, not grass fed or organic or humane and I don't like that the kids eat it.

It's also hard because that means that any time the kids are around family they give them meat too because dh does.

I don't like it but I know it would cause a MAJOR rift if I were to say I wanted them raised strictly vegetarian.

I try to provide as many veg options for the kids as possible and encourage the veg items at gatherings. I suck it up and look the other way when dh slaps some chicken on their plates.
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Old 07-19-2010, 10:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

I am vegetarian (somtimes vegan :P), and DH eats meat. I generally make vegetarian meals, but I will cook him chicken with our meals once in a while. I wasn't vegetarian when we got married, so I feel like it is only fair for me to at least continue to cook some meat. He feels fine with the amount of meat that he eats. He usually eats meat for lunch at work, etc., so he's doing okay
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Old 07-19-2010, 10:40 AM   #8
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Orchid View Post
You bring up the kids, I was wondering about that too. Bamboo likes meat and if DH is having it, he wants some. I would rather raise veg boys, but if dh isn't, I guess my expectation is too high?
Mine is too i would love it if the boys would come to me one day and say I want to only eat veggies no meat. peanut would eat just my veggie burgers and eats the crumbles and has eaten a veggie chicken patty but I have heard dont give them to much textured soy so he does eat meat still monkey boy will eat the crumbles but that is as far as he will go. if he finds out it is vegetarian he wont eat it. I say that but if noone had ever told him that what I ate was yucky( thanks to MIL and BIL) he probably would of been fine since I changed to be a vegetarian right about the time that monkey thought the sun rose and set on my command heheheeh now he knows I am just mom and God does those things.
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Old 07-21-2010, 04:30 PM   #9
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

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Originally Posted by mama-hobbit View Post
Yup. I'm a life-long veg & DH is not. I cook. He eats what I cook. I don't cook meat, with the exception of a Thanksgiving turkey sometimes. I don't buy it either. He deals with it. He is "allowed" to order meat if we go out to eat, or when we are at other folks' homes. It is what it is... I was pretty clear up front that I'll not have a meaty house, and he deals w/ it.
This is similar to my situation. I will buy meat, prepared type stuff like lunch meat or hot dogs . DH and DSS are the two meat-eaters, and they can both prepare their own food. I had a rough time when Ronnie was here, because he brought in his own groceries and made ground beef with EVERYTHING, barf me out with a spoon, my house smelled like cheap ground beef all the time . BUT I digress... DH will generally eat meat during the week because he drives a lot for work and will grab a burger in the afternoon. And he knows better than to ask me "where's the protein" in the evening meal. Because I'll tell him. With charts.
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Old 07-21-2010, 05:10 PM   #10
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bliss View Post
And he knows better than to ask me "where's the protein" in the evening meal. Because I'll tell him. With charts.
YES to that.
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Old 07-21-2010, 07:27 PM   #11
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

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And he knows better than to ask me "where's the protein" in the evening meal. Because I'll tell him. With charts.
Awesome!
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Old 07-21-2010, 07:42 PM   #12
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

I am veg and the rest of the household is not. The only kid who complains is my 13 year old, everyone else is just glad I cooked something and will eat it happily. I am always trying new recipes and they enjoy that DH will go grill something on the weekend when he is home, he works evening shift so its not an issue with dinner for him. I do occasionally make meat for everyone else, I have leftovers or just a salad.
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Old 08-08-2010, 07:39 AM   #13
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

In my family, only DD (age 9) is a vegetarian. I cook some vegetarian meals for the whole family. Otherwise, I often serve things that can easily be made with or without meat. For example, I'll do a stir fry with meat for the rest of us, and without meat for her. Or if I'm making tacos for us, I might make her tacos with veggie crumbles, or do a cheese quesadilla instead. Sometimes I have do something completely different for her, but most of the time, I just adapt things to fit all of us.
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Old 08-08-2010, 08:05 AM   #14
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

I have one non-meat eating child. Sometimes when I fast, I do a no bread/meat/dairy/sugar fast, which amounts to a pretty good vegan diet, so we're all mixed-up-itarians around here. When I'm fasting, I do the "make a veg meal and throw some meat on it somewhere for dh" thing. Shrimp, chicken, whatever, and I do a lot of the "morningstar crumbles" trick, as well.
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Old 08-08-2010, 08:34 AM   #15
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Default Re: Are you veg and your DH isn't?

I'm veg and dh isn't. I've never cooked meat for him. He eats it if we go out or when he gets it and prepares it. We're raising the girls vegetarian. And his family knows that if they were to slip meat to them, we'd be "cut-you-off" livid. We've never said that, but they are respectful that way. My family is all vegetarian/vegan.
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