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Old 05-05-2015, 05:02 PM   #1
JeanineF
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Default Finding my way

I am brand new here. I have 5 children (16, 9, 7, 5 and 4), whom I homeschool. I have always been a proponent of AP and it came easy for me when my children were babies and young toddlers. It has gotten harder for me as they have all grown. With my oldest, I actually wasn't saved until he was 6 and so never really practiced AP or GM with him as a little guy. My other 4 I always have. I've noticed that as they are getting older, I am getting more frustrated and yelling. I don't want to be like that. Other than prayer and being in the Word (which I am already working on my consistency with), I would appreciate any input, ideas, etc. also.....my 4 year old in particular is a very strong willed child that I struggle with....although he is my baby and "loves me best" I hope i'm not rambling and you all understand what I am saying here. TIA.
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Old 05-06-2015, 10:55 AM   #2
rcsmom
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Default Re: Finding my way

Have you read some of the stickys? There is some great info in them that might be a good start. Is there something specific you are wanting help with right now?
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:08 AM   #3
The Tickle Momster
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Default Re: Finding my way



It is harder as they get older. Understanding developmental milestones and age expected behavior really helps me. Sharing specific issues here also helps. Lots of mommas with experience and wisdom to share.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:32 AM   #4
flowermama
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Default Re: Finding my way

Quote:
Originally Posted by JeanineF View Post
I've noticed that as they are getting older, I am getting more frustrated and yelling. I don't want to be like that. Other than prayer and being in the Word (which I am already working on my consistency with), I would appreciate any input, ideas, etc. also.....my 4 year old in particular is a very strong willed child that I struggle with....although he is my baby and "loves me best"
Things really change as they get older, don't they? A lot of us can relate to struggling with yelling. Have you ever tried validating your own feelings? It's okay to feel frustrated, we just need to, like our kiddos, learn to express it in acceptable ways. One thing that can help is, when feeling frustrated, saying verbally, outloud, "I am so frustrated!" I think Crystal is the one I heard that idea from when my children were a lot younger, and it has really helped me over the years.

Another thing that has helped me is realizing that a lot of the reason we as parents get so upset is due to our own anxieties. Have you heard of Celebrate Calm? You might find some good ideas there. Here's their facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CelebrateCalm?fref=ts

I've found the ideas expressed in "The Calm Creed" by Kirk Martin of Celebrate Calm to be helpful:

Quote:
1. I cannot control other people, how they behave or how they react.
2. I cannot control situations and circumstances--most are beyond my control.
3. When I react to people and circumstances, I surrender power over my emotions.
4. I can only control one thing in life--my emotions, my actions, my reactions.
5. No matter how my child or spouse behaves, I am responsible for my behavior. When I "lose it," I lose my authority. I spread and create the calm I want.
Cynthia Tobias' book "You Can't Make Me, But I Can be Persuaded" helped me better understand my strong-willed little girl so many years ago (my daughter is 19 now). Another book that I like is "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Also, you might like "ScreamFree Parenting" by Hal Edward Runkel.

I hope something I've shared might be at least a little helpful!
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Old 05-07-2015, 01:12 PM   #5
JeanineF
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Default Re: Finding my way

Thank you all! I have not heard of celebrate calm, but I will check it out, as well as the books you suggested. It is so encouraging to be part of a group that understands and will offer up ideas that have worked for you!
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