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Old 11-04-2011, 07:50 PM   #1
canadiyank
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Default Yelling Support Thread

Hi everyone - this thread is for those of us who find ourselves, for whatever reason, struggling with yelling. We can share ideas, books, techniques, successes and failures.

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Old 11-04-2011, 08:02 PM   #2
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Subbing
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:04 PM   #3
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Thank you for starting this thread I yell. ALOT. It makes me sick to think of it, cause it is just another thing that I do that reminds me of the horrible way I was raised, and how I swore to never do that to my children
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

me.

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey. It's not an accurate title, it should be titled Discipline Yourself, Discipline Your Child. The book is all about learning habits of self control.

Going to bed when my kids go to bed makes a huge difference because I'm not so insanely tired the next day. But, staying up to prep as much as I can helps, too.

Getting outside, being anywhere but home, it seems. At home I am always multi-tasking and more short-tempered.
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:07 PM   #5
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Is this just for yelling at our children? 'Cause I don't yell at dd. But I do yell at dh in front of dd. A lot.
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:08 PM   #6
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Old 11-04-2011, 08:13 PM   #7
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I'm struggling again with it due to my life right now more than anything. I'm trying to "take the power" back from my situation and not let it decide my life for me. In the meantime....I need this thread.

Lisa, I totally get what you are saying. I need to prep, which helps, I need the rest, and I need "me" time.
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:14 PM   #8
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Bringing my tea to this thread. I need it, a lot, right now. I have always had a temper (it used to only come out when I was pushed to a huge extreme ) but pregnancy hormones and feeling physically miserable for weeks on end have made me quick to anger. While I understand the reasons for it and it feels completely out of my control, especially in the moment, it's no excuse. It is not ok for me to treat my child with anything but kindness and respect no matter how much I am melting down.

In addition to preventing the meltdown in the first place, I need strategies for calming myself and changing my approach when I am already boiling over, instead of letting my fury spend itself. I will usually "watch" myself as I am screaming and think "this is not ok, I don't want to yell, look how scared/confused he looks, I wish I could stop" but it feels so overwhelming and out of control and I can't stop the train until the energy is used up. I really don't like that.
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:16 PM   #9
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

These have helped me (links broken because I haven't read any other content):

http://codenamemama.com/2010/08/31/100-things-to-do-instead-of-yelling-or-spanking/

http:// afterthefirecameagentlewhisper.blogspot.com/2011/01/confessions-of-reformed-yeller-part-1.html (several parts - I've only linked to part 1)


I used to beat myself up and go to bed crying often because I felt like such an awful mother when I yelled at my kids. I found that as I immersed myself in finding God's grace for myself and stopped beating myself up, it helped me find grace for my children and I yelled less. Now I know that I can ask my children's forgiveness; it is not unpardonable. I might need to review all of this though. Old habits do die hard.
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:20 PM   #10
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by greendelight View Post
Is this just for yelling at our children?
Any sort of yelling.

---------- Post added at 08:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:19 PM ----------

I find myself at my "worst" when I am short on sleep and don't have a good plan for the day. At times like that I find that I just don't care!
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:25 PM   #11
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

sleep
eliminating caffeine
eating right
getting out of the house
having my belongings MOVED INTO MY HOUSE AND FINDING A PLACE FOR THEM SO I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND I DON'T LOSE MY MIND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING EVERYTIME I NEED ANYTHING WOULD HELP A LOT
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:27 PM   #12
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I find when I have too much to do and not enough time to do it, my fuse gets awfully short. So yes, lack of planning may be the culprit for me.
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:28 PM   #13
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Yeah, lack of planning. That's a biggie for me...if I have a "purpose" to my day I do a LOT better. Hmm.
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:33 PM   #14
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Hi Ladies. I'm Annie and I'm a yeller
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:40 PM   #15
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

My patience is the shortest (and thus yelling ensues) when I am engrossed in something that is important to ME, something I want to do for ME, and the kids start fighting or need something (that they can easily do themselves and don't need me for) and I can't get MY stuff done. I am trying to do too much. It helps me to just know that between the hours of approx 7am to 8/9pm I should not try and pour myself into anything else that requires all my attention. Then I am not setting myself up for frustration.

On one hand I feel like I'm never going to be able to do anything for myself, but on the other hand I know that right now during this phase of life I am pouring myself into my little ones and will have time later on down the road for personal time. Just the way it is right now. And they are worth it.
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