Yelling Support Thread

[tnaallen]

Originally Posted by jenny_islander

I have two girls who yell at each other at the drop of a hat, get into screaming matches, and then the toddler joins in on general principle, and if I want them to hear me I have to be VERY VERY LOUD. So what do I do?

ETA: I am yelling things like, "YOU ARE IN YOUR FIGHT CORNER AGAIN. NO, I DO NOT CARE WHO STARTED IT. YOU, GET OUT OF THAT CORNER AND GO TO YOUR ROOM. YOU, GET OUT OF THAT CORNER AND SIT ON THE COUCH. NO, NOBODY GETS TO STAY IN THE FIGHT CORNER. I WILL TELL YOU WHEN YOU CAN MOVE." (One goes to some corner or other, the other follows and gets all up in her business, and the next thing I know my ears are ringing.) Five minutes later, they're up and playing again.

That! That's my house exactly!

[mcilvainmama]

I think I am crazy. And I know what I am doing is wrong. Not just screaming but yanking them around, shoving them, pulling hair, grabbing faces...blind rage. Screaming, bellowing and yelling. You would never know I knew a thing about grace much less Christ. It's disgusting. They yell at each other all the time...I can't stand to be around them...I exile them to play in their room constantly...my poor little 7 week old must have gotten so used to me screaming when pregnant it doesn't seem to phase her
My spirit is dry from not spending time delving into the water of the Word...I am at a total loss. Hormonal doesn't even begging to describe how I feel. My poor hobbits need relief from me-I have become so punitive and nasty and mean that they don't even enjoy me anymore-they flinch whenever I am near...scream foul frustrated things at me and each other...I can't even help them navigate through their own big feelings because I don't even know how to control my own. I do t know what the triggers are bEcause it's everything. Counting...removing myself...deep breathing...none of it works....I don't know what to do....sobbing right now because I am so freaked out and shamed at myself and angry and upset that I say I love children...but am basically just abusive....all the time. Please help. And please move this somewhere more private if possible. Thanks .

[GlobalMama]

Mcilvainmama, This is me to a T. Have you considered post partum depression or ever post partum psychosis? I yelled at DS while slamming a door and telling him I hated him the other day with such rage and anger that I scared myself and my newborn didn't flinch either. Poor soul is used to my rampages I suppose. I've yelled in the past. I'm not perfect. But this is WAY beyond anything I've ever done in the past. Way beyond it. I have horrible post partum depression. So bad I'm taking a couple meds and I'm not a med person.

[Naked Camper]

Can I join you all? Sadly, I have a short fuse too. Need to get much better about my temper.

[simplegirl]

mcilvainmama and Globalmama ...I could've written that when my youngest was 7 weeks, and that was 4 years ago. The sun can and will come out. I don't know all the physiological aspects of it to really explain it but I do know it was a crazy mix of hormonal imbalances. In my journey, I went to an herbalist, counseling, a regular md, back to the herbalist and found an integrative doctor who believed in changing things with diet and supplements. There are things that can help if there is an imbalance. I have much more empathy for moms on edge because I was one.

[StoryOfGrace]

I think I need to join you ladies If nothing, just to lurk and absorb ideas. My dad was a yeller, and mom was too to a lesser extent. I catch myself doing it when I have to repeat myself (and who doesn't have to repeat themselves when they have a toddler?!).
Yeah, I want to do better. I want to be better.

[Naked Camper]

It is so hard when you come from a family of yellers. Both of my parents are yellers too. They still yell....

[Willow27]

Is there a way to make this thread private? I want to join but I don't want to post it in a public forum.

[Tandem mama]

I was doing great about yelling until I got stressed about my grandma dying. Then my big feelings kept coming out at the girls. I started running and it's helped some

[Emerald Orchid]

I'm having a really hard time not yelling at bedtime lately. It's so hard to get DS2 to stay in bed and stop calling me 15 million times. I'm pregnancy exhausted too.

I yelled at them really hard tonight. The small consolation is that it was to say "I'm so tired and I need you to sleep, I can't do this anymore!" so I was speaking up my feelings and not saying mean things. They quieted down. I went in to apologize 5 minutes later.

I really need to be able to control myself even when I'm exhausted.

[GlobalMama]

Marie-Eve. I was a nightmare while pregnant and for the first 2 weeks postpartum.

[ArmsOfLove]

PPD/PPP are very real. Sleep deprivation can affect us in horrible ways. Reaching out for a support network and being vulnerable to people who can help us is such an important thing.

[musiclady]

things are interesting in our house. we have put locks on our doors because the 5 yo and 8 yo are stealing and lying. i am looking for a mothers helper to help a few days a week.
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[GlobalMama]

Yes, Crystal They are very real and it's a shame that people are so isolated after giving birth because I think it makes it so much worse. I give thanks every day for GCM.

[Bethany89]

I'm having a hard time with yelling lately. I am struggling to understand her behavior lately and it's making it rough here