How would you deal with this issue- angry God

[Elibellamiah]

I don't know if this is right forum. Sorry if this is strange for a first post but it is just something that is on my mind when thinking about parenting and discipline.
So a while back, maybe a couple months ago, I took my kids to the zoo. It was completely unplanned. While we were there we ran into 2 families from church. We had a great time until the end. We stopped for ice cream at the end of the day and my daughter completely lost it over a straw. I got a drink with a twisty straw and she wanted it for her ice cream. I told her she could have the straw later but I needed it for my drink. She went into a full tantrum. I would have just left but for some reason a nose bleed came along with this tantrum and blood started gushing out of her nose everytime she screamed. So I was stuck trying to calm her down and get the nose bleed under control. The other mothers started asking me if I spank her for her tantrums. Spanking is taught and expected in our church. It's not that I never spanked I just avoided it because I didn't feel right about it. So they started talking to me about spanking. During all of this conversation one of the mothers turned to my 3 year old daughter and told her that her job was to obey me and that she was making God very angry at her. I didn't react to this at the moment, I take a lot of time to think things through, but now I'm very upset that she said this to my daughter. I have no idea how it may have affected her and her beliefs about God. I know I recently heard my 6 year old son tell her God was mad at her. I don't know why he said that. I think I need to talk to them about this, but I don't know how to bring it up and I really don't know what the truth is. I know God is merciful and I don't think He's really up there angry at us all the time for our sin. I certainly don't think He's angry at tired overwhelmed 3 year olds who lose control and throw fits. I'm not sure how to support this with the Bible though.

[ArmsOfLove]

any god who gets angry at a 3yo melting down isn't a very stable god and is not one I'd feel safe turning to in my time of need

the God of Scripture is SLOW to anger! And He didn't hold young children accountable for upholding His Law--they were learning it. Young men didn't offer their own sin sacrifice until they were 20

I would be livid if that was being told to my children--and I would encourage you to talk to them about this and share with them your thoughts on it. Obedience is a concept that most churches really don't seem to understand at all. It *has* to be voluntary, it *has* to be offered--otherwise it stops being obedience. And the word in Hebrew and Greek carries the expectation that the one being obeyed as earned the trust of the one obeying--that is why they are obeying them.

[DoulaClara]

I wonder, too, if you made a general rule to the other moms about not speaking about discipline in front of your kids. Something like, "This is an adult conversation, I prefer that you not speak about this in front of my kids." That way, when/if these things come up again (and if they preach spanking, it will), you can at least be able to respond without your attention and most of your brain being on whatever child moment is going on.

[sweetpeas]

Is your 6 year old getting this just from that conversation or is he also hearing it in Sunday School or something?

I would simply tell your son (with sister there), at a quiet, neutral moment, I heard you tell your sister that God is mad at her, I don't believe God gets mad at little children for being little children, why do you believe that? And see where it goes. . . If you know he heard the conversation at the zoo and picked it up from there, I would address that. "You probably heard Mrs. so-and-so tell little sister that at the zoo last week, Mrs. so-and-so is a very nice lady and she loves God and wants to do what is right, but sometimes people, even if they're Christian and go to our church, believe different things about God. It's important for each of us to read the Bible and talk to God and try to know God and what He wants for us. It's also important for me, as your mother, to teach you about God as I understand things. When you get older you will need to read the Bible and study things for yourself and make your own decisions about what God wants for you. It's not ok for us to go around telling other people that their beliefs are wrong, but it's important for us to make sure we are obeying God and loving God the way we believe is right.

The Bible tells us that Jesus loves children and is slow to anger, that doesn't sound like a God who would get angry at a little child does it? . . . "and continue to discuss based on his feedback.

I've had various conversations with my girls over the last couple years (they're 8) where it's been necessary to say "this is what most people at our church believe, but when I read the Bible, this is what I understand it to say". Because my girls are rather outspoken and my husband works for an organization directly tied to our church, I don't want them going around telling our church leaders that they're doing things wrong. So far it's worked LOL.

[Titus2Momof4]

Well, I'm not really in a position to answer your God-related questions at this time.

However, I wanted to give you bunches of because that whole situation sounded just awful for both you and your dd. I'm so sorry that happened.

[Elibellamiah]

I talked to them today. It obviously bothered me more than them, but it made me feel better to talk about it anyway. I asked them if they thought God was mad at people every time they sinned and my son actually said no. I asked if they remembered when we were at the zoo and Isabella threw a tantrum and someone told her she was making God angry. They said they didn't remember. So that's good. I talked about God being slow to anger. I also said he does hate sin and punishes people when they refuse ever to repent and accept Jesus. I didn't want them getting the idea that sin doesn't matter or God doesn't care. I don't know if I did a good job or not, hopefully it helped something.