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Old 08-10-2012, 07:04 AM   #13
MamaD
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Join Date: May 2011
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Default Re: Very troubled by this sibling issue..... need some pointers

Quote:
Originally Posted by WingsOfTheMorning View Post
it's a phase and that the answer is to continue correcting his behavior and teaching him how to treat his brother and eventually this phase will pass, he will become cognitively able to empathize, and you'll start to see the fruits of your teaching.
This makes sense to me. A lot of it is immaturity due to young age. So how to I continue to teach the appropriate loving behavior effectively for this stage?

I don't think I'm being effective in my teaching. Like I said, I feel that every time I make a correction, for example, "you may not take from #2, give it back to him", or "we don't push/hit him, apologize to him", etc, he acts out by throwing the toy at #2 (instead of handing to him), or running real far away with toy saying he is putting it down somewhere else for #2 (knowingly aggrevating #2), or simply refusing to follow my instructions, or possibly following my instructions and then hitting #2 immediately as soon as I turn my back. To me, that's not effective teaching when this is what comes out of it. I almost hate to teach & correct him because I don't like how #1 finds his way to get back at #2 for "CAUSING #1 to get into trouble", if you know what I mean.

---------- Post added at 06:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:00 AM ----------

Dedicated toys for #1 that's not being shared with #2 - I don't have that yet. How do I do this without causing #2 to fuss over it? #2 is too young to understand this concept certainly. Do I need to make it a rule for #1 that he can only use those toys when #2 is not around or in his room alone or something? Having #2 see those toys or see #1 playing with them won't work at all.

one-on-one with mommy - that we don't have dedicated yet either and I want to do this. Any ideas on what types of activities, places, settings, and duration would be good for this? Like I said, we do it here and there for a few minutes at a time, and it's certainly not an outing, it's just at home reading a book together or something real easy like that whenever I get a just few minutes away from #2. I don't think that's enough time or "special" enough. What do you suggest for a busy life?
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