[saturnfire16]

Originally Posted by MamaD

one-on-one with mommy - that we don't have dedicated yet either and I want to do this. Any ideas on what types of activities, places, settings, and duration would be good for this? Like I said, we do it here and there for a few minutes at a time, and it's certainly not an outing, it's just at home reading a book together or something real easy like that whenever I get a just few minutes away from #2. I don't think that's enough time or "special" enough. What do you suggest for a busy life?

You could go on a weekly "date." You can make a big deal about it by telling him a few day in advance and showing him on the calendar. Give him some choices of where he'd like to go. Some things we have done are going to a restaurant to get a piece of pie, going for a walk in a new place, taking them to the library. Sometimes it's even mundane stuff like a walk to the post office, but it's slow and we take time to look at the bugs, and we talk about our day, and the child gets mommy's attention exclusively.

On a day to day basis, just try to connect with him throughout the day. When he's playing happily, stop and sit with him for a minute and rub his back and ask him to tell you what he's doing. You could set a timer for every hour and for the first 10 minutes of every hour do something with the kids.

Also, you can point out to him all the things that he gets to do with you that the baby can't do yet. He can help you cook, help you with laundry, maybe cut his own food or pour his own juice or use the toilet or stay up a little later. All those things that are part of being a bigger kid.

---------- Post added at 07:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:09 PM ----------

Originally Posted by WingsOfTheMorning

Negative behavior certainly needs to be stopped. But...

The best teaching is done when no one is angry with positive examples...showing how to play with brother, how to tickle his tummy, how to trade toys.

Teach him to read facial expressions and body language. "brother is pushing you away. That means 'stop.'" or "brother is smiling. That means he likes to play peekaboo with you."

I don't force apologies, but we talk often about how when someone is hurting, we try to help them feel better. I migh say, "Sister is crying because you pushed her over. What might help her feel better?". Possible answers are a hug or getting her fuzzy blanket.

Also, once DD2 became mobile, I told DD1 that she can play in her room with the door closed when she wants "big girl time" away from her sister. She can also sit at the kitchen table to do things like puzzles and playdough.

This exactly!