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Old 08-08-2012, 06:24 PM   #9
Kiara.I
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Default Re: Very troubled by this sibling issue..... need some pointers

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaD View Post
Anyways, he always whines about wanting more when he receives the food. I tell him "you can have AS MUCH AS YOU"D LIKE. AFTER you finish this I'll give you more". Something about it doesn't click, somehow that's not enough for him no matter what I say.
Right. Totally normal. See, to you, you've explained things logically so it's all good. To him, (who doesn't really get logic until *much* older) all he hears is "can't have what you want."

That's fine. There's a disconnect between you, but honestly, it's not a problem. Frustrating for both of you in the interim, yes. But fine. You state a rule. He gets upset. You comfort him through the upset, and at other, neutral times, work on teaching through "how" to be upset. All part of the process.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaD View Post
1) Am I doing the right thing by insisting on the serving portion I give him? (his crying makes it look as if I'm really mis-treating him and trying to starve him.
Yup, especially if he over-serves himself, given the chance to do it himself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaD View Post
2) How do I deal with his tantrum at the dinner table? Ask him to leave the table and be back when he's calm? (his tantrum escalates when I ask or force him to get off the table). Leave him at the table and ignore him while the rest of us eats? (the extremely loud YELLING and crying stirs up something in DH & #2 that I eventually end up with another 2 cranky babies - DH & #2). What do I do? I approve of the anger but I don't approve the yelling.
Well, there are a couple of things you could do. You could remove him from the table to another room and stay with him while he calms down. You could give him a couple of minutes to calm himself while still at the table. Your DH needs to manage his own emotions. Maybe have a chat with him about that at some point. If he can't be around a crying 3 year old, then perhaps he needs to learn some coping skills. One of those might be removing himself. But then he can work toward others, like not letting it bother him. Your younger, yes, the crying will probably upset him. Oh well.

It's a stage. 3 is very, very, very young. He simply doesn't have the emotional maturity, yet, to handle what you're hoping he will. It will come, though. My 5 year old no longer fusses about his food portions. The 3 year old does, though. And often gets told "your choice is this size or nothing at all." And then melts down. That's 3 for you.
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