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Old 10-07-2022, 08:54 PM   #23
rjy9343
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Location: Northern Virginia
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Default Re: Parenting gently as Christians

I thought gentle discipline was about as far from Godly as you could get because all I ever saw on it was taking children seriously and the natural child project. The stuff I read was so unreasonable that I thought it was satire at first. No one seriously thinks that adults should wear diapers to avoid taking their children into a public restroom since the children dislike the noises. No one really thought that you should avoid all meal preparation if your eighteen month old was upset because you weren't playing with him. (Now that I see that written out, I really missed a great excuse to not cook). Or never driving so that your infant didn't cry.
I also think there is a two fold reason for the push back in Christian circles that we see. The first I think is that it is seen as a referendum on them personally or at the very least their parents. Parenting and family of origin always has so much emotion wrapped up in it, it's really hard to see objectively.
I think the other reason is money. There is a lot of money to made writing books, speaking at conventions and teaching classes. Not to mention there is a lot of ego tied up in it as well. Gentle parenting really throws a wrench in the works by saying get to know your child and follow their lead. Listen to them when they speak and ask them questions that let you see where they are coming from. Your relationship will be the backbone of the way you discipline, so make it sure it's a positive one.
It doesn't look like you set limits when you give your children information and let them decide what to do, even if they don't make a good choice. It doesn't look like you have rules when you don't really punish them for breaking something. Or if you offer a pleasant alternative to bad behavior.
I can still remember when my niece assured her little brother that he could do pretty much anything at Aunt Rita's house because there are no rules here. Before I could say anything, my other nephew spoke up and said it's awesome here, no one ever gets in trouble. She just talks to you and helps you fix the problem. My daughter is still trying to figure out why they would think there aren't rules here. I think that for so many people the explanations of why we do things instead of saying this is the rule seems like we're trying to be friends or cool parents. Personally, I want my kids to understand the point of the rule, so I say we don't eat all over the house because we don't want to share our house with bugs or worse. It makes them a lot more careful of crumbs and spills because they know the why.
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The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to rjy9343 For This Useful Post:
Llee (10-08-2022), MariJo7 (10-27-2022), Pragmatist (10-14-2022), Singingmom (10-08-2022), teamommy (10-08-2022), The Tickle Momster (10-08-2022)
 
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