3 under 3?

[Barefoot Bookworm]

Hah, I think I'm opposite of Janet because it was harder when they were newborn, 15 months, and 25 months for me. It is SOOOO much easier with 2, 3, and 4 (plus my 7 month old) for me. Even out and about, I think it's much easier because my 2, 3, and 4 year olds can walk while I wear the baby on my back. I often have my 3 year old's hand in mine or in a monkey backpack because he has the tendency to run but it's definitely easier. Running errands today I had a baby on my back, the 3 year old wearing his monkey backpack but the 2 and 4 year old held the tail while the 3 year old held my hand. No issues whatsoever.

ETA: Don't get me wrong, it takes energy but it's so much easier than wearing one, carrying two or hauling a heavy double stroller, etc.

[Llee]

If we were planning on another one, I'd want to get through 2.5 with the youngest before I'd even consider having a 3rd.

I have easy pregnancies, births and so far, the first few months with both girls were all right. But pregnancy takes a toll on my teeth and it takes me a good year to be fully 100% again after birth. For those reasons, I'd wait for a bit.

FWIW, my brothers are 7 and 8 years older than I am and I didn't ever feel left out. They let me tag along--by the time they were in high school, it was kinda cool to have a little sister.

[eoconnel]

I had 3 in four years and it is very hard. My body did not really have time recover and get back to normal before I got pregnant again. Also my nurslings weaned while I was pregnant. If I had it all to do over again I would have put at least 2 more years in between 2 and 3.
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[Niphredil]

I had 3 under 3.25 ... I wouldnt want to do it again. It was a hard, long, exhausting year.

Like Janet I had wanted to do two two years apart, flourish year break then two more. Alas, someone else had different plans.

I know we're better for it, but it was a tough year.

[SamRose]

Funny, my dh had the same plan some of you mentioned: a close pair, a decent space, then another close pair. Too bad I got preg w/ our 3rd while actively TTA the month after he decided that was a good plan.
So we ended up w/ 3 under 3.5yrs. It was definitely a challenge. The 3rd child I ended up with certainly made it more difficult that it would have been had she been a "normal" baby, though. She was crawling & walking VERY early, so I never really got a break btwn havin a toddler and a baby, I just kept cycling back to it, and it was exhausting. Having at least a baby & toddler or 2 toddlers for 4.5 years wears ya out.
And the milk supply is another big factor in the "if I would've had a choice, I might have given more space" thoughts. All of my kids weaned during the subsequent pregnancies, for different reasons & at different ages, but always at the same time in the pregnancy. It's kinda weird, actually.
But yeah, even though I LOVE the close spacings for a lot of things, and I think in the long run they have more pros than cons for the kids & family (mom's body probably not), there are definitely a lot of things to think about before purposely having kids a lot more closely spaced that what seems to be the biological ideal God set up.

[Castle On A Cloud]

I did not have three under three... my oldest was newly 4 when my 3rd was born. I can speak to the spacing though. I have a 17 m, 2y 9m, and 2y 6m spacing. For the breastfeeding alone, I would prefer to not get pregnant until closer to two yrs old. Other than that, I like the bigger age gap because then the smaller one is not too small to be on their own for a while, kwim?

[WanderingJuniper]

I didn't have 3 in roughly 3 years on purpose (I actually didn't expect to have 3 at all ) but I can say I absolutely LOVE it now. The first 5 years was just a form of survival though. Somedays were fabulous and my cup was just overflowing with love toward my family and from my family. Other days. . .well . . . they left me crying on the kitchen floor when I should have been cooking dinner.

We were a one car family for the first year of Sage's life. That was hard We were able to fit 3 carseats across but it was not easy. Eventually we just jumped in and bought a 3 row vehicle.

There is lots and lots of "hard" with so many littles but there is good too.

ETA: If you have to solo parent for any length of time for any reason I would not recommend intentionally trying for 3 so close together. My darkest moment were during the times when I had to solo parent three small children b/c of Bart's work schedule. Those were the times when I mopped the floor with my tears.

[chasingbutterflies]

Originally Posted by WanderingJuniper

ETA: If you have to solo parent for any length of time for any reason I would not recommend intentionally trying for 3 so close together. My darkest moment were during the times when I had to solo parent three small children b/c of Bart's work schedule. Those were the times when I mopped the floor with my tears.

yeah. This may be part of why I would never do it again on purpose. Solo parenting with 3 essentially babies is so, so hard.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

Most definitely on the not solo parenting three that close. My husband gets home at 4pm (he's a teacher) and some days I was sobbing on the phone while he was driving home telling him to get home RIGHT THEEEN (and bring cocaine. Not that I've ever done drugs in my life nor would he even be able to find it but I was convinced cocaine had to help. ).

[Cookie Momster]

I've had three 3 and under twice (and four 5 and under). IT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL! LOL Of course I wouldn't change them, but yeah, exhausting. Adding #3 was the hardest for me. Being out numbered (or out handed) really does add another dynamic, especially when I have the kids by myself most of the time (which means doing things like grocery shopping with ALL the children by myself, etc.) I don't know what I would have done without the help of #1 who is 4.5yrs older than #2. Having said that, now that my "older set" are 5, almost 4 and almost 2 I'm loving the built it play mates and see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. My advice is if you plan to have only 3 kids have the 3rd one fairly close (maybe start trying once #1 turns one so baby has a full year of nursing) but if you plan to have 4 I would do 2 close together, a space, then another 2 close together.

[Fallin2Grace]

Thank you for your advice yall. I really appreciate it...
I def will not be TTC until my son self weans, so it could end up being a while anyways (or at least i hope he nurses for a long time for his benefit), but i guess God will bless us when He sees fit...im really not sure what to do....if we had a girl this time (and we lived in a perfect world LOL) we would stop at 3. But if we dont then we will go on to have 4...of course i never underestimate God! If He decides otherwise. I am so glad no one sugar coated anything. I wanted the truth, so thank you for your boldness! I have to admit, now im starting to think maybe we shouldnt have 3 close together...though i havn't made my mind up...so confused....in His time though....in His time.

oh and i have no concerns about solo parenting, in the sense that i shouldn't have ever do that (never know though...). My husband works 9am-4:30pm like clockwork...and he has flexibility. Good steady job, so...unless something happens to the company we are fine..which i wouldn't anticipate since its Liberty Mutual, but dont want to put all of my eggs in one basket LOL

[Fallin2Grace]

Evening ladies, Im back!

So DS2 is almost 7 months old. We are still BFing . DH and I decided to wait until Jan 2014 to TTC #3 (which would put about a 3ish year age gap between #2 and #3). I was happy about our choice, however, i am now faced with a new dilemma. ...i should have prefaced by saying, that i honestly got scared off having 3 under 3. , but now i am back because of a change in circumstances.

As it turns out, i have severe bladder and rectal prolapse. Ive had a lot of symptoms and its really affecting things. Ive seen 2 doctors about this (one was an OBGYN the other was my family doctor- Im going to be meeting with a specialist soon). But anyways, they tell me i have at least a 3rd degree prolapse and it will def require surgery to fix. I can try the pessary device, however, its highly unlikely to work bc of the degree of the prolapse. I am still going to try it though, but anyways, they wont do the surgery until I am done having kids. (Im only 24). We decided that we are only going to have 3 babies, and when i told the doc that we want one more and when we plan on TTC, i was basically advised that I should have the last one sooner, rather than later. Ive been getting UTIs, cant drain my bladder, in discomfort all of the time, cant pass stoles, etc etc. Its pretty bad....but now this just throws a wrench into the mix because i dont know what to do. Im scared of having 3 under 3, and plus im still BFing. I just dont know what to do about it. I think in the long run, 3 under 3 will be easier (when they get older), but initially is what i am worried about. The reason why they are advising having the last one sooner is because i cant get the problem fixed until then.


i have prayed about this, but i dont seem to be hearing Him very well. Part of me thinks we should just NTNP and whatever happens was Gods plan, but I dont really know if thats accurate and im just feeling SO on the fence about waiting or if i should not wait.

what would you do in this situation? DH says he doesn't care either way...and recently he has had this "lets just have one and get it over with" attitude.

I didn't have 3 UNDER 3, but have my 3rd when my oldest was 3.5 yo. It was tough. My dh was deployed all the time, so that made a big difference too. It was a LOT of work, diapers diapers, messes messes, crying crying, fighting fighting! But once they got a big older, it was great that they all could play well (mostly) together. Now they are 10, 9 and 7 and it's AWESOME! I didn't plan it this way, it just happened!

[ThirstyTurtle]

I had 3 under 3 (for 12 days, and then I had 3 that were 3 and under).

I had a hard time going from 1 kid to 2 kids (16 mths apart), and the additional of the 3rd wasn't the same level of adjustment. However, it is day in and day out logistically hard at time. I had 3 in diapers for 6 months and many mornings I spent the first 2-3 hours just almost non-stop changing poopy diapers.

I would do it again rather than spacing them out. It is nice to get the stages over with and done in a short period of time. Just realize for the first couple years it's just going to be physically and logistically challenging, but then it gets much better.

[Llee]

Will you have more help now or more help later?