Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

[RealLifeMama]

Originally Posted by jamilyian

I am on my way to being a reformed Messy, and I posted on the other thread, but can I offer advice here? Since I have BTDT, and I grew up in a disaster of a messy home? I've really seen it all ladies. My childhood home reeked of animal feces because no one cleaned the cat box and my mom had 2 snakes and bred feeder mice in addition to the cats all of which poop and pee. I can tell you stories of moldy refrigerators and hairballs the size of golf balls littered in the shower. Moldy half-filled cups of coffee. And then there's the paper. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks of papers, bills, envelopes, memos, lists, coupons...
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Eeeew! I am so sorry! Even I am not that bad! (I do have lots of paper, though!)
Advice is good!

[Mother of Sons]

I'm a messy. I even have a yahoogroup. PM me if you'd like to join!

[hey mommy]

Originally Posted by jamilyian

I am on my way to being a reformed Messy, and I posted on the other thread, but can I offer advice here? Since I have BTDT, and I grew up in a disaster of a messy home? I've really seen it all ladies. My childhood home reeked of animal feces because no one cleaned the cat box and my mom had 2 snakes and bred feeder mice in addition to the cats all of which poop and pee. I can tell you stories of moldy refrigerators and hairballs the size of golf balls littered in the shower. Moldy half-filled cups of coffee. And then there's the paper. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks of papers, bills, envelopes, memos, lists, coupons...

Sounds like my parents house.. I think they only clean when I'm there.. It's not really my mom though b/c she works 2 jobs and is rarely home and when she is home, she's sleeping. I've gone over there w/dishes that have been soaking in water for 4+ days. The bathtub looked like it hadn't been cleaned since the last time I was there 2 months before. Coffee cups had been there for at least 3 days.. I'm tempted to hire them a housekeeper to come in every 2 weeks. My mom said she finally talked to my dad about it and he is supposed to be getting better about cleaning it. He's self-employed and is sometimes home for hours doing nothing, or just messing around in the yard..

Well I think in my heart I am an organized clean person, but being raised with no housekeeping skills whatsoever took its toll on me. So it has been a struggle. But really, it feels so good to live in a clean kept-up home. I promised my dh that I would do it for him.

[GotMyHeartFull]

Originally Posted by jamilyian

Well I think in my heart I am an organized clean person, but being raised with no housekeeping skills whatsoever took its toll on me. So it has been a struggle. But really, it feels so good to live in a clean kept-up home. I promised my dh that I would do it for him.

same here, I knew nothing about keeping house when I married. I get so frustrated when i look around and see clutter but sometimes it is overwhelming and i don't even know where to start

[erinee]

Originally Posted by jamilyian

I am on my way to being a reformed Messy, and I posted on the other thread, but can I offer advice here? Since I have BTDT, and I grew up in a disaster of a messy home? I've really seen it all ladies. My childhood home reeked of animal feces because no one cleaned the cat box and my mom had 2 snakes and bred feeder mice in addition to the cats all of which poop and pee. I can tell you stories of moldy refrigerators and hairballs the size of golf balls littered in the shower. Moldy half-filled cups of coffee. And then there's the paper. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks of papers, bills, envelopes, memos, lists, coupons...

Zach's best friend's house is like that. They're really nice people, and both people work outside the home so there's just not much time for housekeeping, and they seem to keep *everything*. I keep a lot, but I don't have nearly the amount of stuff they do (of course, they're older and have had more time to collect it). I do feel a little bit better about my own house -- like at least it's not as bad as it *could* be.

[Katydid]

Oh, count me in! I need all the help I can get.... reading through this thread I've been nodding my head about most everything that you all have posted. I find housekeeping just so overwhelming and BORING. I hate that feeling of never being done. There's always 10 gazillion other things I'd rather be doing. I actually grew up with a very clean and tidy mom.... who always did all the cleaning AFTER I was in bed.... so I grew up thinking that things just magically cleaned themselves! I really need to find something that will make it semi-enjoyable.... because most of the time I feel like a hopeless, unmotivated, lazy slob

Oh, I am so glad for this thread. I am such a mess - in many ways. I feel like "everyone" else is so neat and orderly and clean and then there's me. I will read more later but I just wanted to chime in and say thank you for this thread!!

[Six Little Feet]

Count me in

I also wanted to add a problem I have not yet seen on this thread (now that I have read all the posts) - I suffer from clutter-blindness, and I really struggle with this. I mean I can't see clutter. I get used to it and it no longer registers. This was brought home to me when the head secretary at work said the front desk was getting so cluttered she could not stand it and she cleaned and organized it. It had looked fine to me. I mean, if stuff is stacked and I know what each pile is for and about, I am fine with it. Now, when someone points it out and cleans and shows me, then I am like, ah, that's so much better. Why didn't I think of that??? It is really hard living this way. It is such an effort for me to keep things clean and organized. I like it clean and orderly, but I can't see the forest for the trees.

[RealLifeMama]

Leah, you sound a lot like me.

I am slowly trying to get rid of stuff. The one thing a day is helping a lot.
This week, I am going to try to focus on my kitchen- running the dishwasher nightly, putting dishes away in the AM, and keeping the floor swept up. I am also going to attack my kitchen clutter. I have these two baskets of *stuff* and I already went through one and managed to do away with one whole basket by taking a basket full of stuff upstairs (not put away, but it does not belong in the kitchen ) so now I just have one basket of stuff in there.
I also want to clear my refrigerator front so I can post schedules/routines on it.

I figure this is small enough I can hopefully make some progress.

I really need to do something about the kid's outgrown clothes but that just seems all too overwhelming.

How are y'all doing this week?

Yes, the outgrown clothes are in a massive huge stack on top of ds's bureau - but don't let that make you think ds has an actual bedroom. No, he still sleeps in a side-carred crib and his bedroom, which my now-xh was going to do for us after ds was born, never happened. So it's kind of a catch-all, store-all room and there's no room for his first bed even.

It's so hard being single because I don't have the "here, watch ds for the morning (or for a couple of hours)," option. Xh comes to see ds twice a week for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, and it's the hour before dinner so that's all I do during that time, make dinner. THis is getting OT, but I just wanted to kind of vent my frustrations over my cruddy housekeeping.

And my laundry is totally festering downstairs while I am on GCM. I have laundry in the washer that I have to keep putting through the rinse cycle, because the dryer is full of clothes and the clean clothes basket is also full of clothes because I NEVER HAVE TIME TO PUT THEM AWAY!!!!

[scooter]

I can totally relate to what has been said here. I was raised in a very messy/dirty house (once I nearly died of embarrassment when my friend said to me at school, you sometimes smell like your house - I knew exactly what she meant!). I suffer from clutter blindness sometimes, and other times just feel completely overwhelmed by the clutter, and just have no idea where to start I discovered something about myself once, that when I clean the bathroom handbasin, so it's really nice, I notice it and keep it that way. Once someone has come in and really dirtied it up, I kind of accept it as normal and let it stay that way. Seems I notice cleanness and not dirtiness.

[RealLifeMama]

Originally Posted by Leah

And my laundry is totally festering downstairs while I am on GCM. I have laundry in the washer that I have to keep putting through the rinse cycle, because the dryer is full of clothes and the clean clothes basket is also full of clothes because I NEVER HAVE TIME TO PUT THEM AWAY!!!!

We don't put clothes away here either most of the time.
Do you have anywhere to hang laundry as it comes out of the dryer? We have some wire shelves over the washer/dryer. I hang up stuff that can be hung on hangers on the shelf, and then the rest of the clothes go in a basket. Every so often, I go through and sort the clean clothes by owner (DD does this with me) and put them in that owner's basket. I am not allowed to put DH's clothes away, but I bring the basket of his clothes to our bedroom and he does it. But the kids and I just take them from basket to body to hamper.
One day I hope to be able to get it all put away, but right now, there isn't anywhere to put the clothes, since the dressers and closets are full of outgrown stuff (mine too!)

Well, I got all mad and put the clothes away just now. I had to do it in the dark b/c ds is sleeping in the main bedroom, but I could turn on the light in his "bedroom." Now the festering clothes are washing again, I took the clean clothes out of the dryer and the basket will accomodate the clothes currently washing as well as the ones I just put in there. All that to say, if I had just done it instead of fretting over it I would have saved myself a lot of grief.

And we are going on vacation this weekend, for a week, and I am totally not above taking dirty laundry with me and doing it at the beachouse if I have to.

Thanks for understanding.