Gentle Christian Mothers Community
 
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas

~* Please help keep GCM free by using our
Amazon.com affiliate link. Thank you! *~


Go Back   Gentle Christian Mothers Community > Specific Issues > Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public*
Forgot Password? Join Us!

Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
A public forum.
Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-25-2010, 09:42 PM   #1
GCM_Admins
Administrator
 
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 238
GCM_Admins has disabled reputation
Default A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi Pearl

A GCM Statement: It is Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl

This statement may be re-posted in its entirety.

The admins of Gentle Christian Mothers (GCM) have felt led at this time, as we mourn the loss of seven year old Lydia Shatz[1], to issue a statement of disagreement with Michael and Debi Pearl and their child rearing methods. Not only are their methods extreme and outside the realm of normal and healthy child rearing practices, but the doctrinal foundation for these methods contain a level of heresy, including denial of the Christian doctrine of original sin[2][3], which leave them without biblical basis and at odds with the truth that all are in need of salvation which has been provided through Jesus alone[4].

Though the Pearls affirm the value of relationships in parenting in their attractive "tying heartstrings" message, their harsh teachings are in diametric contrast to building healthy relationships. They advocate "training" and "chastisement" of children, starting in infancy[5][6], using methods and means not described in Scripture -- including using ¼ inch plumber’s supply line as a spanking instrument[7] and claiming that a "proper spanking leaves children without breath to complain"[8] -- for stated purposes of absolving guilt and cleansing the child's soul[9].

The combination of an adversarial us vs. them mindset where the parents must "win," physically "disciplining" children until they surrender their will and show total submission, and false doctrine makes the Pearls' methods dangerous. They present a very distorted picture to the world of what it means to be a follower of Jesus and a Christian parent in the world today. It is time for Michael and Debi Pearl to be held accountable for their teachings. We urge other Christians to join us in speaking out against what Michael and Debi Pearl have been teaching for far too long.

References

1. Godly discipline turned deadly: A controversial child "training" practice comes under fire -- this time from Christians themselves, Lynn Harris, Feb. 22, 2010
2. Second Council of Orange (529)
3. Teaching tape on Romans 5:12-21 by M. Pearl
4. "Michael Pearl on Original Sin: An Analysis," Catez Stevens, October 11, 2005
5. To Train Up a Child, M. Pearl, D. Pearl, chapter 1
6. "In Defense of Biblical Chastisement Part 2," M. Pearl, October 2001
7. Ibid.
8. "Angry Child," M. Pearl, August 1998
9. "In Defense of Biblical Chastisement Part 1," M. Pearl, May 2001
__________________
The GCM Admin Team

Last edited by flowermama; 03-01-2010 at 12:18 PM. Reason: to correct a misspelling
GCM_Admins is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 202 Users Say Thank You to GCM_Admins For This Useful Post:
3xblessed (02-25-2010), abh5e8 (03-19-2010), AdrienneQW (03-01-2010), afternoonrain (03-07-2010), Aisling (03-01-2010), Ajani (03-01-2010), AlishaRose (03-03-2010), Allison (03-01-2010), Amor_Vincet_Omnia (03-05-2010), amyhntr2 (02-26-2010), AppleSauceCookies (04-24-2010), ArmsOfLove (02-25-2010), arymanth (03-07-2010), backtobasicsmum (03-01-2010), bananacake (03-01-2010), Barefoot Bookworm (03-01-2010), BarefootBetsy (03-12-2010), Bensmum25 (01-27-2014), Bethany89 (08-31-2011), BlessedBlue (03-01-2010), bliss (03-02-2010), Blue-EyedLady (03-01-2010), Bonnie (03-01-2010), bostonsmama (03-02-2010), brandi (02-26-2010), canadamommy (03-03-2010), CarissaJoy (03-07-2010), CelticJourney (03-02-2010), Charity (02-26-2010), Cherish (03-02-2010), Chinamommy (03-01-2010), Country Bumpkin (06-21-2010), crunchymum (03-03-2010), curlymopmom (02-25-2010), DancingWithElves (03-02-2010), domesticzookeeper (03-01-2010), duckwithoneleg (03-08-2010), eandg81 (03-01-2010), ellies mom (02-28-2010), EMama (03-01-2010), eoconnel (03-01-2010), Esther (03-05-2010), Fallin2Grace (04-09-2012), filmgirl2911 (03-01-2010), Firebird Rising (03-11-2010), fullcaffmama (06-09-2014), gpsings (11-25-2010), greenishmama (10-27-2010), H0nBun (03-08-2010), HadassahSukkot (02-05-2014), happy2bmama (03-09-2010), happyhousewife (03-01-2010), hbmamma (05-07-2010), Heather Micaela (02-25-2010), Hermana Linda (03-01-2010), holdyouup (10-18-2014), HomeWithMyBabies (03-02-2010), Hope (12-06-2012), hopeforchange (03-02-2010), hsgbdmama (03-01-2010), JellyBean (03-01-2010), JessicaNichole (03-19-2010), jmom1984 (08-16-2011), joyful mama (03-04-2010), JoyGal (03-01-2010), Kat (02-25-2010), katiekind (02-25-2010), Kazimiera (03-03-2010), KLin (03-05-2010), kwisie (03-01-2010), Lady Grey (02-25-2010), LadybugSam (03-01-2010), Lantern Light Mama (02-25-2010), liamum (03-01-2010), light of mine (02-25-2010), LikeADimMirror (03-01-2010), LilySue (03-19-2010), Littledisciples (03-03-2010), luvinmama (04-07-2010), luvinmykidz (03-04-2010), Maggie (03-02-2010), Maggirayne (03-01-2010), Mama Rophe (03-01-2010), mama-hobbit (03-01-2010), mamacanuck (03-01-2010), MamaCare (03-02-2010), Mamaka (03-01-2010), mamamonkey (03-01-2010), MamaNata (05-12-2017), Marrae (03-01-2010), MaybeGracie (02-28-2010), milkmommy (03-06-2010), missythemom (03-05-2010), mokamoto (03-20-2010), mommy2ella (03-02-2010), mommy2Her (03-09-2010), momyshaver (02-25-2010), Mother Duck (03-08-2010), mountainash (02-25-2010), movinforward (03-03-2010), mwwr (03-06-2010), naechelle (03-02-2010), Naked Camper (03-01-2010), ncsweetpea (03-08-2010), NewCovenantMama (02-28-2010), newday (02-26-2010), OliveJuice (03-01-2010), Oliveshoots (03-03-2010), On Fire (11-29-2012), PaperMomma (11-02-2011), Patrysha (03-03-2010), Peridot (03-24-2010), Ravenzmama (10-08-2014), reb (07-28-2013), rebecuna (03-03-2010), Redeemed (03-01-2010), relizabeth (02-26-2010), Reva (02-26-2010), Rose (03-03-2010), RubySlippers (03-03-2010), Sarusabeth (12-10-2011), Scox2003 (08-06-2012), Serendipity (03-01-2010), shaslove (03-01-2010), shirelingmum (03-04-2010), ShowersofBlessings (12-04-2010), simplegirl (03-01-2010), Snugglebugmom (12-08-2011), Soaring Eagle (03-02-2010), SortaCrunchy (02-26-2010), Sparrow (03-01-2010), squiddles (10-07-2011), Starfox (03-01-2010), StewardofLOs (04-30-2010), sweetpeasmommy (02-25-2010), tazmom (02-25-2010), Teacher Mom (03-01-2010), TenderLovingWillow (03-01-2010), Teribear (02-25-2010), tessiemae (04-22-2010), Thankfulforgrace (03-01-2010), toastedsalmon (03-03-2010), tofufoofoo (03-01-2010), Treenahurricane (02-28-2010), ValiantJoy07 (03-04-2010), Victorious (02-25-2010), Weezie (03-01-2010), yellowheart (02-25-2010), Zipporah (03-01-2010)
The Following 16 Users Say they are praying for GCM_Admins:
fullcaffmama (06-09-2014), H0nBun (03-08-2010), holdyouup (10-18-2014), Hope (12-06-2012), SalH (04-11-2010)
Old 03-31-2010, 09:07 PM   #2
phathui5
Rose Bouquet
 
Midwife, Mom of Five
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lebanon, OR
Posts: 979
phathui5 is a name known to allphathui5 is a name known to allphathui5 is a name known to allphathui5 is a name known to allphathui5 is a name known to allphathui5 is a name known to allphathui5 is a name known to all
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

I reposted it in its entirety as a facebook note and tagged a bunch of people.
__________________
Midwife & Homeschooling Mom with:
14yods, 11yodd, 9yods, 7yods, 3yo ds & twin (!) fds
http://www.birthwithliz.com/
phathui5 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to phathui5 For This Useful Post:
Hope (12-25-2012)
Old 04-26-2010, 10:07 PM   #3
EmergingMummy
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Just wanted to say "thank you" for this! It seems that the "To Train Up a Child" is the number one book people contact me about. I love having this statement to return to as I advocate for gentle discipline. Even as I'm just meeting all of you here, I'm so thankful for you! Blessings on you and your work, ladies. I'm honoured to be here and learn from you.
  Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Hermana Linda (04-27-2010), Hope (12-25-2012)
Old 07-13-2010, 08:28 PM   #4
amychristine
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Thank you for standing for the Love that exists in the Life of Jesus. I appreciate this heartfelt response after reading some of 'To Train Up a Child' and feeling a bit confused at whether such tactics are really necessary for parenting children responsibly.

When I spanked my children it felt wrong and I asked the Creator for alternatives. In that my heart has awakened...

I realize we each have our own journey and I hope each parent looks inside their heart to find the answers. Books and experts have their place, but the heart is pure.

Love,
Amy
  Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Beautiful Chaos (01-08-2012), Hope (12-25-2012), Kaela Parakaleo (04-02-2014)
Old 10-18-2010, 03:51 PM   #5
CelticJourney
Administrator
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,601
CelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond reputeCelticJourney has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

http://responsivereiding.com/2008/03...eview-sort-of/

A very good review recommended in a previous thread by Wonder Woman.
__________________
Elizabeth

"Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep

Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19
CelticJourney is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to CelticJourney For This Useful Post:
Old 02-01-2011, 10:13 PM   #6
Hermana Linda
Administrator
 
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,918
Hermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond reputeHermana Linda has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Feb. 6, 2011 marks one year since the death of Lydia Schatz.
__________________

My pages:
Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter
Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God
Hermana Linda is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says they are praying for Hermana Linda:
Old 05-22-2011, 07:23 AM   #7
BCSweetie
Rosebud
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 66
BCSweetie will become famous soon enough
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

That's so sad
BCSweetie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 10:13 PM   #8
soshanna
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

I'm shocked to read articles on the link. This is the first time I heard/read this philosophy. Oh my God... Satan is totally involved in this, I'm pretty sure !! Satan could use a verse and turn it into his own meaning, not God's. Scary !
  Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to For This Useful Post:
dollydaydream (08-16-2014), Hope (12-25-2012)
Old 01-08-2012, 07:05 PM   #9
Beautiful Chaos
Rose Trellis
 
I live a wonderfully chaotic life!
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 1,502
Beautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond reputeBeautiful Chaos has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

That is just terrible.
__________________
Megan
Starting a new chapter!
Sofia (01)
Madeline(04)
Quin(08)
<>< <>< <><
Imaginations Creations
You will win sweet mamma!!!
facebook me


Trimming the fat 4 life
formerly known as mammaof3
Beautiful Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2012, 12:40 AM   #10
zzubadoo
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

It's so sad when people assume that all Christians agree with the pearls teachings. That breaks my heart. The Pearls really are misquoting scripture
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2012, 02:51 PM   #11
amber.pt
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

I'm saddened that people follow teachings like this and don't even questions the questionable!
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2012, 08:29 AM   #12
Gale
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

We had to l,earn the hard way. We were in a church that said that we HAVE to discipline by "spanking in love". Can there really be any love in that????
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-2012, 03:24 PM   #13
SewingGreenMama
Rose Trellis
 
Deuteronomy 11:19
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,052
SewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond reputeSewingGreenMama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Thank you!
I've been thinking a lot about Grace based parenting lately. Thinking about how God deals with us when we sin.
Your post lines up with a lot of what I've come to think about the Pearls.
SewingGreenMama is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to SewingGreenMama For This Useful Post:
Hermana Linda (05-30-2012)
Old 09-13-2012, 05:57 AM   #14
sunflowermom
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,579
sunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond reputesunflowermom has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Thank you so much for sharing this! Until now, I had no idea what the Pearls' teachings were about, although I am familiar with their names. I am definitely going to do more research and speak out against these teachings.
sunflowermom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sunflowermom For This Useful Post:
Hope (12-25-2012)
Old 12-31-2013, 11:16 PM   #15
NurseKristie
Rosebud
 
Above all, love one another.
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 118
NurseKristie will become famous soon enoughNurseKristie will become famous soon enough
Default

I'm happy to see people openly calling these methods abusive and dangerous. Too many children have been harmed or killed because of them.

Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk
NurseKristie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to NurseKristie For This Useful Post:
Hermana Linda (12-31-2013)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:53 AM.


A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.

Amazon.com affiliate link

Copyright 1997-2017 by Gentle Christian Mothers™
An alternative-minded, evangelical Christian community supporting attachment parenting and natural living.

Do not post content elsewhere.
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/

Some smilies created and copyrighted by Mazeguy.
Some smilies and avatars created and copyrighted by flowermama and children -- do not use elsewhere.

Soli Deo Gloria
To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 16:27 (KJV)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information
  • Page Generation 0.09337 seconds
  • Memory Usage 8,230KB
  • Queries Executed 14 (?)
More Information
Template Usage:
  • (1)SHOWTHREAD
  • (1)ad_footer_end
  • (1)ad_footer_start
  • (1)ad_header_end
  • (1)ad_header_logo
  • (1)ad_navbar_below
  • (1)ad_showthread_beforeqr
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_sig
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_start
  • (1)cyb_flashimagebanners
  • (1)footer
  • (1)forumjump
  • (1)forumrules
  • (1)gobutton
  • (1)header
  • (1)headinclude
  • (1)navbar
  • (3)navbar_link
  • (60)option
  • (1)pagenav
  • (1)pagenav_curpage
  • (1)pagenav_pagelink
  • (15)post_groan_box
  • (5)post_groan_box_bit
  • (1)post_groan_javascript
  • (1)post_groan_navbar_search
  • (2)post_groan_postbit_legacy
  • (15)post_thanks_box
  • (160)post_thanks_box_bit
  • (1)post_thanks_javascript
  • (1)post_thanks_navbar_search
  • (9)post_thanks_postbit_legacy
  • (15)postbit_legacy
  • (9)postbit_onlinestatus
  • (66)postbit_reputation
  • (15)postbit_wrapper
  • (4)showthread_bookmarksite
  • (1)smqre_editor_button
  • (1)spacer_close
  • (1)spacer_open
  • (1)tagbit_wrapper 

Phrase Groups Available:
  • global
  • inlinemod
  • postbit
  • posting
  • reputationlevel
  • showthread
Included Files:
  • ./showthread.php
  • ./global.php
  • ./includes/init.php
  • ./includes/class_core.php
  • ./includes/config.php
  • ./includes/functions.php
  • ./includes/class_hook.php
  • ./includes/functions_notice.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner.php
  • ./mobiquo/include/classTTConnection.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner/head.inc.php
  • ./includes/functions_bigthree.php
  • ./includes/class_postbit.php
  • ./includes/class_bbcode.php
  • ./includes/functions_reputation.php
  • ./includes/adminfunctions_template.php
  • ./includes/functions_misc.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_groan.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • fetch_musername
  • notices_check_start
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • template_groups
  • template_safe_functions
  • template_compile
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_start
  • post_thanks_function_show_thanks_date_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_end
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_start
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_start
  • post_groan_function_show_groan_date_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_end
  • reputation_image
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • error_fetch
  • pagenav_page
  • pagenav_complete
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete