A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

[dancingWNC]

I... was just starting to think in this direction. Babies (0-5) look just like, well... babies! And I keep thinking, as I'm reminding dd for the quintillionth time to _____, that she really is not necessarily trying to be disobedient. most of the time she is just lost in her own world. and since i don't know a whole lot about development, how can i possibly understand what wonderment her increasing abilities to think and imagine must be for her - and how it affects her ability to follow MY preferred thought process for her.
i had just decided that it merits allowing her much more room than i have assumed was needed for not "hopping to" and following orders immediately. i work a bit more with her, doing things together, or else allowing tasks, like picking up all the blocks she dumped on the floor to be broken up into smaller bits. ("ok, so pick up a few more, then it's time to eat.")
I can't wait to pick up some of the books and resources mentioned in this thread. I'm searching for them now!

[happyhousewife]

[Soliloquy]

I believe that the idea of a 3-4 year old as a "child" is a modern concept.

It does make me sad (and angry) that each time I was pregnant, my next youngest child (so, when I was pregnant w/ Simon, they said this to Gracie and when I was pregnant w/ Fiona they said this to Simon), people said, "You have to be a big boy/girl, now! Mommy needs your help!" Um, NO, they do not have to suddenly grow up because I am pregnant!

oops, baby is waking

[Heather Micaela]

Um, NO, they do not have to suddenly grow up because I am pregnant!

Yeah the burden should be on the MOM,not the baby

[joy]

I think about this thread nearly every day when I start wondering if DS should be able to do this, that, or the other thing by now.
This thread helps me remember to just drop those expectations and just let him be. I'm thankful.

[bliss]

Don't know how I didn't see this till just now. Pretty much sums up everything I did wrong with my (now 10yo) dd. It was refreshing and created a much easier parenting road to view my ds as a "baby" much longer (still, really, although it is starting to bug him ) I get aggrivated when trying to introduce the concept of GBD to my (VERY punitive) mother's group at church and I always get the idea shot at me that kids "know better" from the time they are toddlers (18mos+) Mothers talk about "you know, when they give you that look, and they know they are doing the wrong thing, and they do it anyway" and I'm going "this is a human being who was just BORN 18months ago, has only the barest basic language, motor and mobility skills, and you are expecting him/her to have a fully formed sense of right and wrong??" Anyway, all that to say, thank you for this thread, it is very interesting and it's great to see the concept fleshed out.

[kwisie]

Originally Posted by bliss

"this is a human being who was just BORN 18months ago, has only the barest basic language, motor and mobility skills, and you are expecting him/her to have a fully formed sense of right and wrong??"

I love that quote.

[nadezhda]

Originally Posted by kwisie

I love that quote.

Me, too! Mind if I borrow it sometime?

I needed this threads reminders today.

Wow I really needed to read this - thank you - my first 'baby' turns 8 in a month......

[bliss]

Originally Posted by nadezhda

Me, too! Mind if I borrow it sometime?

Please do! You guys don't know how rad it makes me feel when people like what I say ... can you say "not validated as a child"?

[Dana Joy]

Originally Posted by bliss

Please do! You guys don't know how rad it makes me feel when people like what I say ... can you say "not validated as a child"?

more validation coming your way!!!

[celestial princess]

Originally Posted by Mommy

more validation coming your way!!!

validation from this direction, too. I'm going to use that.

[ArmsOfLove]

great quote