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Old 12-28-2010, 12:13 PM   #136
ClothDiaperMom
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

I agree with you 100%!!!

Our culture, and saddly parts of our Lord's Church expect way too much from small children.

They ARE BABIES in every sense of the word. Saddly, I have seen 4 and 5 year-old boys trying to sit on their Mother's lap, and their moms say, "You're a big boy, big boys don't sit on mommy's lap." And the child goes away sad, because they NEEDED to be "babies" at that point in their life.

Too many parents think there is some "clock" that goes off when the child reaches say, 2, 3 4, or 5. When the clock strikes say, 2, it's like, OK, you are a "big girl" time to use the potty.

Really? What if that 2 year-old is not ready?

I love your post!

Great topic!
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Old 12-29-2010, 06:28 AM   #137
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

I like this and shared it with my dh last night. He is frustrated with our 7 yo being less responsible that he'd like (leaving used pants on bathroom floor,etc). Anyway, the thought that he's not that far out of babyhood is helpful, and I certainly saw a big change in him during his 6th year.
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Old 12-29-2010, 10:47 PM   #138
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

This is exactly what I needed to read today. I've been feeling like such a terrible mother lately not knowing what is wrong with my dd and mine's relationship since my son has been born and I think it's because I keep expecting her to be older than she actually is. She's going to be 3 in Feb. and just the other day I yelled at her for not holding the bread while I was putting butter on it while holding my son at the same time and I just slammed down the knife and yelled "I told you to hold it!" after it fell on the floor. The reason she didn't hold it well was because she didn't want her little fingers to get "dirty" with butter. (Which is so adorable!...but I didn't see that I just saw task, get it done, get her fed, and move on to the next thing on the list). Anyway - I just needed some peace and I printed out your reasons and am putting them all over the house. I've been missing sleeping with her and snuggling with her and I don't know why I'm not doing all of it still b/c I'll never get this time back. So thank you again! That's exactly what I needed today.

Last edited by Momz; 12-29-2010 at 10:49 PM.
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Old 01-19-2011, 12:35 AM   #139
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Just wanted to add something I read today during my WAHM textbook recording that goes along with this idea. This quote is from Parenting: A Dynamic Perspective by George W. Holden:

Quote:
Take for example the ancient Greeks (1100-146 BCE). THey conceptualized childhood as divided into three stages: infantia (birth to age 7 years), peritia (ages 7 to 12 for girls, 7 to 14 for boys), and adolescentia (ages 12 to 21 for girls, 14 to 21 for boys) (Heywood, 2001).
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Old 01-26-2011, 04:20 PM   #140
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

This was an incredible thread to follow!! Extremely helpful!
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Old 03-09-2011, 07:52 AM   #141
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

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Old 03-09-2011, 08:38 AM   #142
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Is that baby typing? (My dd's fav new activity is playing the keyboard...the computer keyboard that is..haha! But I'm glad Im reminded of this thread!
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:48 AM   #143
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2MeadowRose View Post
Is that baby typing? (My dd's fav new activity is playing the keyboard...the computer keyboard that is..haha! But I'm glad Im reminded of this thread!
Actually, that would have been my 5 year old. I am finding that she has made several posts on GCM when I have left the GCM page open when I went to do other things
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:57 AM   #144
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2MeadowRose View Post
In various places, the Bible does address weaning. Probably the most well-known example is Samuel. When he was weaned, his mother gave him over to Samuel to be given to the priest Eli to minister in the Temple. There's no way he was any younger than 3 years old. He had to have been able to serve in some way even at that young age. But there's no way Hannah handed a baby over to Eli. My husband just told me that typically Jewish people taught their children to read from the Torah at age 3. So children were techniquely considered infants until at least age 3, not like 9 months to a year like here in America. Why do American parents tend to make their children grow up too fast? Because of American philosophy, we have so many emotionally detached children. And need I mention breastfeeding? 6 Months old is not old enough to be weaned from the best nutrition source available - mama's milk. I used to be just like every other American who thought that breastfeeding a child who is able to walk already is just disgusting. But not anymore now knowing the nutrional benefits of breastmilk and just how much tiny children still need unconditional love and affection. Yes, even if they can walk at 9 months, they are still precious little babies who need as much kindness and love we can give them!

I always thought personally anyway, that Samuel was probably closer to 5. Just b/c I couldn't, even as a child and teen, imagine sending your baby, just weaned, away. I still think that just b/c I want to.
On a personal level, I agree with this idea. I don't always practice it and it was a good reminder. I get annoyed when I see parents who have been tender and loving to their child and suddenly that child turns 1 and they launch into this huge battle to get this perfectly behaved child that sits thru an hour of Sunday school, another hour and a half of church, and then later that day sits thru another hour and a half of church services that are for adults. Anyway...I'm getting ranty here!
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Old 03-28-2011, 05:01 PM   #145
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

This thread was completely eye-opening for me, a lot to think about. Totally different from how I've been "raised" and what my family and friends think.
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Old 03-30-2011, 01:47 PM   #146
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

This is very interesting and reaffirms what I knew in my heart to be right. It is good to hear that I am not the only "crazy" one.
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Old 09-07-2011, 04:17 PM   #147
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

I completely agree!!!!!
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Old 10-19-2011, 11:44 AM   #148
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

I loved reading this and agree with others that it opened my eyes and it feels so right to care for our 5 and unders the same we would a baby.

Once they start talking and imitating us it is easy to push them into succeeding in every aspect and I think that leads us to greater expectations and demands. Also, I was thinking about the way we talk, and our body language means more than what we actually say to them. I have noticed that with my 3 yo. When I am in a rush and wanting her to do something and get frustrated I sit back sometimes and watch her. It is all really simple, the way she does things and the things she wants/says and I see how hard she tries to please me and how much love she really needs from me. I forget that she is not a mini adult, she doesnt have hidden motives and doesnt understand sarcasm. When she says something it is so real and raw to her. The I realize these needs need to be met like I would my infant. Thanks for the wonderful post!
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Old 10-30-2011, 10:47 PM   #149
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Thank you for sharing exact ways how viewing your children like babies till they reach 5 helps you. I am a recovering orefectionsit and just a beginner in learning what AP is. So, i already called my baby selfish when she was not even 1 year old. Thanks for sharing! I need to learn so much...
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Old 12-07-2011, 10:52 PM   #150
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Default Re: A radical idea - viewing kids as babies till 5

Thank you for posting this, it is exactly what I needed to read today. So far, AP has been a natural parenting style to practice, but is starting to feel more uncharted with toddlerhood. I really appreciate your reasons to view littles as a baby for a longer period of time. What a fantastic way to gently show love and hold them close a little longer
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