Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

[Domina]

Guys, I wanted to share with you a truly wonderful book I'm reading - not only an immense practical help, but also very freeing from housekeeping guilt and shame.

It is, hands down, the best book I have ever read on the subject:

The House That Cleans Itself: 8 Steps to Keep Your Home Twice as Neat in Half the Time
http://amzn.com/0736949879



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[megbar548]

I need to be part of this thread. I'm a messy.

In general, I'm ok with that. I'm ok with things when my house is cluttered but *safe*. I'm ok with having a house that looks like people live in it and USE it. I'm ok with my stove being dirty b/c I cook on it 3+ times a day. I'm ok with a semi-permanent scattering of toys set up in my daughter's room b/c "mommy, that's my tea party for my imagination friends. And that's my che-nickel set where I make my che-nickels. And this is the house we made for Nora's babies. And..." I'm ok with not being the kind of person who dusts regularly.

Or even being the kind of person who remembers that dusting is a *thing* at times other than when I'm nesting or my MIL is coming into town...

I'm ok with that.

What I'm not ok with is regularly paying late fees because bills we *can* pay got shuffled into a stack of mail we were avoiding. I'm not ok with things being lost or broken or being replaced unnecessarily because we couldn't find them, or they were in the way, or they got broken because they were poorly cared for. I'm not ok with not teaching my kids *how* to clean, or *why* it's good to clean. I'm not ok with the adversarial relationship I have with cleaning. I'd like to make it work FOR me instead of AGAINST me.

Most of all, I'm not ok with letting it always and ever stay in such a state that I honestly can't see the things that need help. I do not want my house to be like my mom's house. I don't want my kids to grow up in a house they just want to get away from b/c everything is messy and poorly cared for and breaking and unusable. I don't want them to grow up and resent coming back into that house the way that I sometimes do with my mom's house.

[Llee]

With the bills, do you have the option of online banking? For us, I set up all our accounts on our bank's website. I then manually go in and input how much to send to each account and when. The bank mails out checks or electronically deposits the $ for us, on the day I tell it to. That way, it's not the company doing an automatic debit on our account (which we had happen once and that backfired in a big way!) and I don't send the $ until the paycheck has been deposited.

[RealLifeMama]

My thinking has shifted so much the last year and a half that I would not really call myself a "messie" anymore even though I started this thread, and even though my house is not how I want.
But, the bent is still there.
I found a really fun blog that sort of echos my journey, and it is called "A Slob Comes Clean."
The podcasts are fun to listen to while doing kitchen cleanup. I started reading the blog at the beginning, backwards, like she suggested. I did not get very far, but the podcasts kind of summarize.

[mrskellyray]

Ohmygoodness. I am such a messie. Usually I don't even realize how messy my house is until my husband points it out! I always feel like I'm failing my job as a housewife! So glad to find this group for encouragement!!

[MaySunflowers]

The word "Joyous" next to "Homekeeping" makes me feel like this is a foreign land I cann't comprehend....

[SewingGreenMama]

I don't think the joyous means enjoying house keeping or being perfect or even striving to be perfect in housecleaning.

I'm a messy. There are too many other important things to be done for me to spend so much time keeping a perfect house.
I make sure that my home is clean, and safe, and I do take joy is having a clean, safe, beautiful home, but that doesn't mean perfect. It doesn't mean that I enjoy washing dishes.
It means that I work without resentment to serve my family and Jesus. If there is resentment I look to find where it's coming from.
Selfishness?
Not getting enough help from the family?
And address that.


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I'm definitely a messy. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that my own mom is a messy too, so I never learned how to clean. It never bothered me before I got married and suddenly started noticing how messy my home is compared to other women. Then enters the self-condemnation and feeling I'm not a good wife/mom because I can't get my home in shape.

[veggie_mama]

I am a messie... have struggled with it for years. I want to change my ways though. Babysteps...
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[purity4God]

Hey, hasn't anyone seen that sign you can put in a frame that says "Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, & happy kids"? I would love to put that on my wall, for a beast reminder on my behind days! With toddlers, messiness is a easy of life! I was upset yesterday because I didn't get everything done (even with help! ) & my hubby said "Yeah, but you have happy children & a happy husband". That was like the nicest thing he's dais to me in weeks! Lol. It helped me feel better & reminded me the true focus of life -everything else including a clean house is just icing on the cake.

---------- Post added at 03:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:18 PM ----------

Oops, lots of typos- I'm tired! And using my phone.*reminder*, not beast reminder, *way* of life, not easy of life, *says*, not dais

[Kirkie]

.

[ServingGrace]

So I have always thought of myself as a good housekeeper. Now that my kids and I live in a small apartment there is a bit of clutter. Our closet does have some unfolded clothes on the floor but most of the kids clothes is folded and in the dresser, beds are always made, I vacuumed twice a week, sweep daily (but it's so muddy out it doesn't look like it), scrub sinks daily and toilets weekly.etc. However between the three of us there is so much stuff, mostly outdoor winter gear, that there is always some clutter somewhere! I try so hard not to beat myself up over it and tell myself the apartment is clean but not tidy etc. Today my daughters friend came over and when she left she was saying how dirty our apartment was, while I was I ear shot. Ugh I know I should let it get to me but now I feel like staying home from the Y tomorrow and skipping Saturday sports and working out to clean. Yet I know within a day or two the coats, boots, slippers, snow pants will be everywhere again!

[Meadowlark]

I definitely belong in this support group. I think it's very challenging to overcome the way I was raised and maybe even my genetics. My paternal grandfather, father, and maternal grandmother had hoarding tendencies. Growing up we always went "garage-saling" and thrifting for fun. We didn't need anything! It was cheap entertainment to look for a new toy, gadget, article of clothing, etc. Now I have a house with 3 storage sheds and a partial garage nearly filled with stuff. I don't want to raise my daughter this way. I want to look for interesting, fun, sometimes educational activities and opportunities to give back to the community instead of constantly acquiring new things. So yeah, there's the clutter issue, but I'm also just extremely messy and feel too tired to clean often. I'm hoping to be better though. I never cooked either until a few months ago and now I'm cooking every day, so I think there's hope.