spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? - Page 2

canadiyank · 10-21-2008, 07:44 PM

I'd give the answer to that (why you said no) and then say "asked and answered" after that. These techniques don't necessarily stop an age-expected response.

Hopefully we can give them tools for the future and temper the current response, but it unfortunately doesn't mean the responses always instantly go away.

Since he's five I would also suggest checking out the Dealing With Disappointment thread, as you could be introducing skills to help him deal with the frustration he's feeling. The author suggests one skill per year of age.

HTH!

Linnis · 10-21-2008, 08:13 PM

My nephew was five but I'd comment to the air "Hmm, I can't understand whining. I'm sure he wants something but I don't speak whine." We also did asked and answered. If he refused to not whine I'd ask him to go do something and come back when he could ask/talk nicely.

As my mother used to say It's not just what you say it's how you say it.

NewMommy · 07-28-2011, 02:50 PM

My little one likes being a "big girl" and so when she whines she is reminded (kindly) that whining is not "big girl" behavior. (I tried the approach of explaining that whining is annoying, and I swear for about a week afterward that child had a pact with Satan to destroy me!)

mountainash · 07-28-2011, 02:55 PM

"I need you to take a deep breath and say what you're trying to say without whining so I can understand you."

Playful parenting, I "tune" the child by using their arms as antennas. "Huh? What? I can't understand. I'm getting a lot of whining on this channel. Here, let me see if we can improve the reception."

Kyasmom · 07-28-2011, 03:26 PM

Depends on the child and situation. With dd1, I do a lot of the "Oops, whiny voice - try again." or the like... simple, non-engaging correction. With ds (my super sensitive soul whose emotional state is mirrored in his voice) I am finding it best to bend down, hold his shoulders/ hug him and tell him to relax this part of your body (while rubbing his chest) and ask him to use his strong voice. Telling him to simply try again often resulted in more frustration and desperation to be heard. This way, he takes a deep breath and says it again with a quiver, but no whine..

works for us.

BlissfullyEsther · 08-13-2012, 01:49 AM

Thanks for this thread. Really needing it this month. "Six" is here.

10-21-2008, 07:44 PM	#16
canadiyank Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central WA Posts: 17,196	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? I'd give the answer to that (why you said no) and then say "asked and answered" after that. These techniques don't necessarily stop an age-expected response. Hopefully we can give them tools for the future and temper the current response, but it unfortunately doesn't mean the responses always instantly go away. Since he's five I would also suggest checking out the Dealing With Disappointment thread, as you could be introducing skills to help him deal with the frustration he's feeling. The author suggests one skill per year of age. HTH!

10-21-2008, 08:13 PM	#17
Linnis Deactivated Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 5,404	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? My nephew was five but I'd comment to the air "Hmm, I can't understand whining. I'm sure he wants something but I don't speak whine." We also did asked and answered. If he refused to not whine I'd ask him to go do something and come back when he could ask/talk nicely. As my mother used to say It's not just what you say it's how you say it.

07-28-2011, 02:50 PM	#18
NewMommy Rose Blossom Never surrender, Never give up! Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: USA Posts: 262	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? My little one likes being a "big girl" and so when she whines she is reminded (kindly) that whining is not "big girl" behavior. (I tried the approach of explaining that whining is annoying, and I swear for about a week afterward that child had a pact with Satan to destroy me!)

07-28-2011, 02:55 PM	#19
mountainash Rose Garden Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Northwest of Orlando. Posts: 6,732	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? "I need you to take a deep breath and say what you're trying to say without whining so I can understand you." Playful parenting, I "tune" the child by using their arms as antennas. "Huh? What? I can't understand. I'm getting a lot of whining on this channel. Here, let me see if we can improve the reception." __________________ INFP Ashley Beloved of ENTJ Jason since Sept. 2003 Benjamin born March 2005 & Alivia born May 2007

07-28-2011, 03:26 PM	#20
Kyasmom Rose Trellis Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,566	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? Depends on the child and situation. With dd1, I do a lot of the "Oops, whiny voice - try again." or the like... simple, non-engaging correction. With ds (my super sensitive soul whose emotional state is mirrored in his voice) I am finding it best to bend down, hold his shoulders/ hug him and tell him to relax this part of your body (while rubbing his chest) and ask him to use his strong voice. Telling him to simply try again often resulted in more frustration and desperation to be heard. This way, he takes a deep breath and says it again with a quiver, but no whine.. works for us. __________________ ~Tracy Wife to DH for 10 years Mama to 6 year old Rae , 4 year old Gator, 2 year old Zuzu bee, And brand new Tater Tot

08-13-2012, 01:49 AM	#21
BlissfullyEsther Rose Trellis Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Victoria, Australia. Posts: 2,317	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? Thanks for this thread. Really needing it this month. "Six" is here. __________________ Our family has been blessed with two boys - Echidna 2006 and Bilby 2009. In the search for community which combines a love of our Creator with a love of raising children gently. Echidna, 7.5yo: "Does icebergs (aspergers) mean lots of lego?"

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