Would you use a reward system for this?

[NeshamaMama]

Alright, I'll start out by saying that I am VERY anti-rewards. I am cautious with praise. I am just extremely opposed to the idea of using external motivation to guide my children - so obviously that's why I'm struggling with this.

DD is having poop issues. She started having instances of uncomfortable pooping (very large and dense), where there was a decent amount of blood afterward. She then, understandably, did not want to poop and has been holding it for as long as humanly possible, even pooping in her underpants a few times because by the time she had no control over it anymore she couldn't make it to the bathroom. I understand how nervous it must make her feel and how scary it must seem, I really feel for her.

We took her (all of us actually) off of gluten. She started taking fish oil every day. I've also been trying to encourage her to take powdered magnesium, but it's hit or miss even when I mix it with juice (we don't give her any juice at all normally). She is STILL holding it, every single time, which isn't allowing the issue to get any better even with the changes we've made. This has been going on for over a month now.

I've found myself wondering whether something like a sticker chart would actually be helpful in this situation, to encourage her to poop every day, since it's definitely a "behavioral" issue rather than a physical one of her not being ABLE to poop, and she clearly has extremely negative associations with it at the present.

Tonight I KNEW she had to go and I sort of word-vomited out that she could have a Larabar if she pooped. I'm obviously at a point of desperation.

So what do you think - good idea in these circumstances (impacting her health, negative emotional/physical discomfort associations) or worst idea ever *because* of the circumstances (rewarding for a normal bodily function)? Help me sort this one out.

I had this same problem with my oldest DS. I HIGHLY rec. using some Miralx to soften the stools. Having no pain while defecating is very important to stop the witholding cycle.

I reward/praise him for telling me he is really to try and being cooperative (by listening to his body).

With constipation issues, the pediatric GI specialist told us to never ever shame him for his accidents (not that I think you are). I did reward at the beginning. Now 3 years later (he has chronic constipation), he gets mild verbal praise because he responds well to it. For us the reward was for trying, not for the result of a poop. He was so scared to try so we rewarded every effort until he was pain-free

[NeshamaMama]

I have definitely been considering using Miralax. . My thought process was maybe we could avoid it if we could get her going regularly so the poops weren't so large and uncomfortable, but you're right, now that I think about it I was probably coming at that backward. . Giving a sticker for trying does sound better than for actually pooping.


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