spin off-- how DO you discourage whining?

illinoismommy · 10-10-2008, 08:11 PM

help!

Soliloquy · 10-12-2008, 07:22 PM

I tell Gracie flat-out, "When you talk like this [demonstrate whiney voice] it's called whining. It really, really annoys me. Please ask me like this [demonstrate non-whiny voice]"

So far it's working. She's 4.5.

Joanne · 10-12-2008, 08:37 PM

The best way here is:

limit TV
limit computer time
limit junk food

"Asked and answered"

"Conversation over"

"You're whining. Try again."

Can Dance · 10-13-2008, 12:12 AM

youre whining. I dont want to hear it. try again. I cant understand your words when you whine. stop whining. tell me in real words what you want.

it works most of the time.

Close2MyHeart · 10-13-2008, 04:18 AM

"I dont' like to listen to you when you whine. Start over in a non-whiny voice"

That gets used a lot around here. DD just turned 5 and is a champion whiner.

canadiyank · 10-15-2008, 01:18 PM

I've taught the difference between a "high" or "whining" voice and a "low" or "pleasant" tone of voice. I tell them to try again in a pleasant tone of voice. We've practiced them at neutral times (they think the "high/whining" voice is hilarious when we practice

) so I can pull in that skill during a situation.

I also do "asked and answered" and, if really frustrated, I walk away. Mostly scripting them to try again in a low tone of voice works. At first I had to say exactly what I wanted to hear, then just "try again with a low tone of voice," now I just say, "Try again."

illinoismommy · 10-15-2008, 05:25 PM

Hey, these are all really great, though I can see we're doing things fine because we do these things so apparently its just perseverence

Maybe we should sticky this topic, its pretty common!

canadiyank · 10-16-2008, 12:26 PM

Good idea!

Soliloquy · 10-16-2008, 05:32 PM

Oh yeah, it definitely takes perseverance. When people are really tired, hungry, etc. (young or old) whining kind of comes naturally but it can be trained out.

Blueberrybabies · 10-16-2008, 09:04 PM

Sometimes it works here to do some sort of playful parenting. "Oh, no, there's something wrong with my ears! Are you saying something?"

10-16-2008, 09:07 PM

It's not ok to whine.

That's what I usually say and I ask her to tell me in a normal voice. But I like the idea of practicing in neutral times and calling it a pleasant voice.

What's ask and answer?

tempus vernum · 10-17-2008, 05:56 AM

Usually I just say "Mama doesn't respond to whining, try again" but sometimes I say "Mama doesn't speak whinese, try again in a calm voice" if I can tell they need a playful parent to turn the situation around.

Soliloquy · 10-20-2008, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HummusDip

What's ask and answer?

"Asked and answered" if for when you've already given an answer but they keep asking in a whiny voice. If you'd said "No" to TV but they keep saying, "But Mom, pleeeeaase can I watch TV?" You say, "That question has already been asked and it's already been answered."

canadiyank · 10-20-2008, 10:44 AM

I also use, "What do you think?" when they get in that cycle, and a lot of times it interrupts that cycle for my dd while she thinks of her answer. Very helpful!

10-21-2008, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadiyank

I also use, "What do you think?" when they get in that cycle, and a lot of times it interrupts that cycle for my dd while she thinks of her answer. Very helpful!

yeah.... that's kind of funny....

i do that too - but 5yo tells me i said no, and then proceeds to throw himself of the floor, flop around and say, BUT WHYYYYYYYY??????????? (waaaaaa...)

10-10-2008, 08:11 PM	#1
illinoismommy Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 25,657	spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? help! __________________ Mommy to: Ds (9.5), Dd (7), Ds2 (6), and Ds3 (4.5).

10-12-2008, 07:22 PM	#2
Soliloquy Administrator Why climb a mountain? Because it's there! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Selkirk Mountains Posts: 52,860	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? I tell Gracie flat-out, "When you talk like this [demonstrate whiney voice] it's called whining. It really, really annoys me. Please ask me like this [demonstrate non-whiny voice]" So far it's working. She's 4.5. __________________ Lisa, 50. Married to the love of my life for 25 years! Moderator in Theological & Doctrinal Issues, Drawing Closer, Bible Study, & Educating Our Children Mom to 5 wonderful kids, ages 6, 12, 13, 15, 18. My Instagram Pregnancy & Postpartum Corrective Exercise Specialist and Personal Trainer.. Join me on iNaturalist.

10-12-2008, 08:37 PM	#3
Joanne Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,066	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? The best way here is: limit TV limit computer time limit junk food "Asked and answered" "Conversation over" "You're whining. Try again."

10-13-2008, 12:12 AM	#4
Can Dance Rose Garden Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 7,336	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? youre whining. I dont want to hear it. try again. I cant understand your words when you whine. stop whining. tell me in real words what you want. it works most of the time. __________________ Mum to MayFlowers: DD1 4/2004 DD2 13/2006 DS 24/2009 and my Hawaiian Surprise DS 9/1/11

10-13-2008, 04:18 AM	#5
Close2MyHeart Rose Garden Back for Friendships Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Northeastern US Posts: 20,848	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? "I dont' like to listen to you when you whine. Start over in a non-whiny voice" That gets used a lot around here. DD just turned 5 and is a champion whiner. __________________ ~ Becca ~ Wife to C., WFHM, Life long learner Living in "organized chaos" with 2 handfuls of kiddos. DS1(21), DS2(20), BD1(20), DD1(19), BS1(17), DS3(16), BS2(14), DD2(14), BD2(10), BD3 (8) (B = Bonus/Step)

10-15-2008, 01:18 PM	#6
canadiyank Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central WA Posts: 17,196	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? I've taught the difference between a "high" or "whining" voice and a "low" or "pleasant" tone of voice. I tell them to try again in a pleasant tone of voice. We've practiced them at neutral times (they think the "high/whining" voice is hilarious when we practice ) so I can pull in that skill during a situation. I also do "asked and answered" and, if really frustrated, I walk away. Mostly scripting them to try again in a low tone of voice works. At first I had to say exactly what I wanted to hear, then just "try again with a low tone of voice," now I just say, "Try again."

10-15-2008, 05:25 PM	#7
illinoismommy Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 25,657	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? Hey, these are all really great, though I can see we're doing things fine because we do these things so apparently its just perseverence Maybe we should sticky this topic, its pretty common! __________________ Mommy to: Ds (9.5), Dd (7), Ds2 (6), and Ds3 (4.5).

10-16-2008, 12:26 PM	#8
canadiyank Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central WA Posts: 17,196	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? Good idea!

10-16-2008, 05:32 PM	#9
Soliloquy Administrator Why climb a mountain? Because it's there! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Selkirk Mountains Posts: 52,860	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? Oh yeah, it definitely takes perseverance. When people are really tired, hungry, etc. (young or old) whining kind of comes naturally but it can be trained out. __________________ Lisa, 50. Married to the love of my life for 25 years! Moderator in Theological & Doctrinal Issues, Drawing Closer, Bible Study, & Educating Our Children Mom to 5 wonderful kids, ages 6, 12, 13, 15, 18. My Instagram Pregnancy & Postpartum Corrective Exercise Specialist and Personal Trainer.. Join me on iNaturalist.

10-16-2008, 09:04 PM	#10
Blueberrybabies Climbing Rose Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,348	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? Sometimes it works here to do some sort of playful parenting. "Oh, no, there's something wrong with my ears! Are you saying something?" __________________ Carly Wife to my first love since 12/2002 Mama of A (dd 7) G (ds 5.5) E (dd 4)

10-16-2008, 09:07 PM	#11
HummusDip Guest Posts: n/a	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? It's not ok to whine. That's what I usually say and I ask her to tell me in a normal voice. But I like the idea of practicing in neutral times and calling it a pleasant voice. What's ask and answer?

10-17-2008, 05:56 AM	#12
tempus vernum Rose Garden I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 28,897	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? Usually I just say "Mama doesn't respond to whining, try again" but sometimes I say "Mama doesn't speak whinese, try again in a calm voice" if I can tell they need a playful parent to turn the situation around. __________________ ~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ”

10-20-2008, 10:44 AM	#14
canadiyank Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central WA Posts: 17,196	Re: spin off-- how DO you discourage whining? I also use, "What do you think?" when they get in that cycle, and a lot of times it interrupts that cycle for my dd while she thinks of her answer. Very helpful!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode