so,it's a spin off this thread
http://gentlechristianmothers.com/co...d.php?t=341448
basically, you are re-parenting yourself. when you are going through something, and realize you yourself are about to "misbehave", like throw a fit, lash out, express yourself inappropriately somehow, you talk to yourself the way a parent ought to talk to a child in this situation, perhaps, the way your own parents never did.
my example: i don't feel well. my mother used to get angry at me for not feeling well, and would act as if i am ruining her life/am in the way/am a bad child. So, now when I don't feel well, i am real pill!
i whine, and i get angry, and I apologize, and i feel guilty, etc.
My self-talk: it's really awful that i don't feel well. i hope i feel well soon, and this is all behind me.[validating my own feelings, showing compassion to myself] i am a valuable, good person, i just happen to have a health problem at this time [gently confronting my negative beliefs] I am going to take good care of myself, and continue to be a loving gentle mother and wife without over-exerting myself. [being realistic, re-visiting what's important now]
now i just have to actually repeat it to myself.
oh, lookie, it's euromom's due date today